This weekend while trying to relax my crooked back after my high-heeled shoe fiasco, I almost drifted off to a glorious sleep when I was shaken out of my calm by our stupid neighborhood ice cream man.

Now, I know I’m going to get shot down hard for saying this, but there is a special place in hell for ice cream truck drivers who play the same tune over and over again. A lot of people don’t mind the music at all. I’m not one of them. This guy only occasionally rings the bell, which I do find quite charming and nostalgic. It’s when he plays the same song on loop that I want to run out there and throw spike strips under his wheels and smash his speakers with a very large mallet.

I suppose it wouldn’t be all that bad if it wasn’t the particular song he’s playing. Wanna feel my pain? He came down the street just a minute ago and I managed to hide behind some bushes and stuff to get the shot. Go ahead, I dare you to click this.

Seriously, just imagine that over and over, and LOUD, and it just doesn’t stop and you want to rip your hair out!!! I’ve considered going outside with a fistful of cash, then buying up all his inventory so he HAS to leave. But then he’d realize there’s a market for ice cream on my street, and that’s not what we want now, do we?

There is precedence for silencing noise menaces, so I know I’m not the only one who’s annoyed. Boston’s trying to have it banned. And you might have heard about the guy in Jim Thorpe, PA, who can’t stand his courthouse neighbors who play show tunes five times a day from their bell tower carillon. He’s since backed off his lawsuit, but I stand with him on principle. All he wants is a little peace.

I could almost stand it if Ice Cream Guy weren’t driving his Cartoon Mobile down our street on Sundays. I don’t know who I’m angrier at, him or the thoughtless neighbors who mow the lawn for three hours. Doesn’t anyone consider Sunday a day of rest anymore? Or am I just that old-fashioned?

Stumble it!