Ask and You Shall Receive
embarrassing March 14th, 2008I recently asked readers whether I should flesh out some post ideas I had knocking around in my head. The overwhelming majority voted for my 5th grade troll picture.
You may remember my instructions for what not to do with curly hair. This picture takes it a step further and shows what happens when you straighten it out and then promptly walk outside into 90% humidity.
I managed to achieve The Bad Hair Trifecta: Curly to frizzy to flat-headedness in under an hour. I don’t even know why I’m smiling. I look like my brother Michael, in his long hair days (no offense to my brother). In fact, it’s more an offense to him.
Even if the hair looked okay, look at that shirt! Where did I get these clothes? Granted, we’re talking late-70s, but still. I was never a fashion plate, and don’t profess to be one today, but you would think I could find something in my closet other than Trapezoidal Cowl Neck Polyester for a school picture. What was I thinking?
Mock away — if you’ve made it this far. If you can’t take it, please come back in a couple days and I’ll have something more pleasant to look at like puppies and cotton candy.
Note: I will NOT be offended if you mock me mercilessly. I deserve it if I’m going to showcase the best of the worst on this blog. I do it as much for my own enjoyment as yours. The fact is, I’m old enough to know that this part of my life is safely behind me and it’s a healthy thing to laugh at yourself, loudly and often. Enjoy!
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March 14th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Oh how ‘twee’ The top I mean, not your hair :O)
I once had a ‘bubble’ perm that was sooooo tight that my hair grew long before the perm loosened - It looked just like your hair. Then I cut it all off ha ha!
Babs (Beetle)’s last blog post..Things that go ‘crunch’ in the night
March 14th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
My new goal for the year: grow my hair so that it looks just like the hair in this photo.
kev’s last blog post..Woman Sat on Boyfriend’s Toilet for 2 Years
March 14th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Seriously? This is your bad 5th grade picture? In mine I was growing out my bangs. Which meant that every morning my Mom and I had a ritual: I sit in the dining room chair, while my Mom pulled my hair back as tight as I could stand with a scrunchy. At the time that BRIGHT pink scrunchy seemed like the cutting edge of fashion.
That trapeze shirt? In right now. Just in case you want to go dig it out.
StephanieC’s last blog post..give me some feedback
March 14th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Well, I like the shirt but it does surprise me you posed for a picture in that hair - that too in the age of film !
(I actually feel sorry for you)
March 14th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I’m..I’m.. speechless….
windyridge’s last blog post..Kinky Yarn
March 14th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Ok, ummm *snort* the shirt probably was in. I mean, in your defense.
The hair…well, my ex had hair like that and he actually tried to chemically straighten it. OMG…it was horrible. You definately don’t want to straighten naturally curly hair when it’s that tightly curled.
Hey, we all have our crosses to bear. I was painfully reminded of mine today. I have a rather large nose. Growing up I was teased mercilessly about it. Well, today while putting cover up on my eyes with a wand (because my eyes are dark around them…sorta like the skin around someones a…. ummm nevermind) ANYWAY I hit my nose with the wand as I went from one eye to the other. Yeah… I can still see the nail marks in my hands from bearing that cross.
Lori’s last blog post..Awards - For others
March 14th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
I think you look more like my brother Michael (seriously).
Jeff’s last blog post..A rude awakening
March 14th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
ONLY because you encourage us to mock you will I say that it looks like you flattened not just your hair, but your entire head.
Thank you. I’m genuinely feeling better about the poorly executed Dorothy Hamill haircut I was dumb enough to get the day before my senior picture.
Carla @ WordPlay’s last blog post..Book Review: Punctuation Clarified with Humor in “Eats, Shoots & Leaves”
March 14th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
But you had a nice personality, right?!?
March 14th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Actually I think she looked lovely. I am truly honest in this assessment.
Rattln Along’s last blog post..Closing of another Era!!!
March 14th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Ah, it’s not that bad, Kathy! Yeah, I hated those cowl shirts - even though I wore them… but I hated the feeling of them.
And the hair? Well, let’s just say it reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld with the lo-flow shower heads….
March 14th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Ah, it’s not that bad, Kathy! Yeah, I hated those cowl shirts - even though I wore them… but I hated the feeling of them.
And the hair? Well, let’s just say it reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld with the lo-flow shower heads….
Maureen’s last blog post..Procrastination
March 14th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Yeah…I wish my 5th grade picture was that good. I had what looked very much like a very shaggy and grown-out bowl cut, a white shirt with big, bright turquoise HORIZONTAL strips, with a big winnie-the-pooh on the front of it. I was also starting my awkward phase, and looked very odd, I think. Oh, icing on the cake? The black eye my step-father adorned me with two days before, when it was nice and greenish around the edges. Fun times, fun times.
March 14th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Kathy:
You’re way too tough on yourself. I admit it, the hair was a bit massive, but what the heck, who cares? The main thing is that you made it through your teenage years with at least half your wits remaining. That’s a lot more than a lot of us did. We all have deranged-looking school pictures hidden away in old dust covered year books. Go back a few more years and I’m sure you’ll find something even more hideous. But not more so than you neighbor. And just remember, when the house is on fire, our pictures is the first thing we try to save. What does that say?
You are a funny lady. That’s a plus.
Love the post.
Swubird’s last blog post..COLLEGE BOYS DON’T KNOW SQUAT!
March 15th, 2008 at 12:47 am
Heehee! It’s not that bad really, I mean it was the 70s. And I totally had that top but in blue!
DrowseyMonkey’s last blog post..Urine Sample
March 15th, 2008 at 4:31 am
Babs — Curly hair has a mind of its own. I can picture what your bubble perm looked like and why you’d want to chop it off.
Kev — Be sure to give me credit when all your friends ask you how it was you got more awesome-looking than before.
StephanieC — I can top your scrunchy. I used to wear a plastic banana clip!
Jaffer — I gladly accept your pity. I really do hate this picture. People who say it’s not that bad need their eyes examined.
windyridge — You should be.
Lori — I always wanted to chemically straighten it, but I heard enough about what can go wrong that I smartly stayed away from it. Sorry about your nose. I hate mine, too, but I’m not up for surgery.
Jeff — I’d love to compare photos.
Carla @ WordPlay — I have a flat-head problem, don’t I? Ah! The “Dorthy Doo”! How many girls were there that got that and regretted it?
FerdC — There’s looking at the bright side. Yes, I did.
Rattln Along — Really? Really? Oh my.
Maureen — I remember that episode. People underestimate the importance of good showerhead strength. It’s the difference between a good hair day and a bad one. I wish I could blame my showerhead for this look.
Kara — Oh my God! That’s awful! Just awful. I’m so sorry. Now I want to cry.
Swubird — Thanks, you’re always making me feel better about myself. I’ll never need therapy with you around!
DrowseyMonkey — The 70s was such a cruel fashion decade. I wish I’d been a kid in the 80s. It was infinitely better, Jordache jeans and all!
March 15th, 2008 at 6:32 am
AHH!!! That’s really scary and freaking and wow. I hope my hair never looks like that…
March 15th, 2008 at 8:24 am
thats not a bad picture at all and i know what you mean about the hair…that’s the only reason i don’t like summer. i figure if i keep my hair short, it won’t have far to fall
Natural Woman’s last blog post..I Wish I Had Duck Feet
March 15th, 2008 at 9:40 am
No need to feel sorry Kath. I survived it. One of the great things about child hood is that if you manage to survive it, you have a lifetime of lessons from it. The worse the childhood, the wiser the adult. =) And the worse the photo, the better the laughs later on. I personally thought your picture was fine. You really can’t tell that much about how frizzy you say your hair was that day. And the shirt, while it may not have been in style at the time, seems to fit the era when you look at it years later. One season or three off in a photo doesn’t matter after a few years. (I promise. I’ve also a pic of myself in overalls…all the rage at the time, but looking at it now makes me look like a very clean farmer…) You’ve given me an idea, Kath. I think I’m going to try and organize a little get-together with some friends, and you are not allowed into the party unless you have what you feel was your worse photo from your youth. We’ll go around pointing out all of the great aspects of each photo, but the person with the worst photo can win a door prize, like a free package at a local photography studio or something. Hmmm…..
*wanders off to ponder her new idea*
-Kara
March 15th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Ha ha ha! I can so relate to this photo! I have one that’s even worse - in my Grade 8 yearbook. Bowlish haircut, horn-rimmed glasses, braces, polyester plaid dress with built-in turtle neck - absolutely breathtaking. It’s hard to imagine why I wasn’t a part of the gang who was out “necking” on a tree branch in the schoolyard.
And speaking of yearbooks, is yours as full of striped cowl-necked sweaters and sausage-roll hair as mine is? Those were the days, huh?
Kat
Poetikat’s last blog post..Friday Flashback Part 3
March 15th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
You are so funny!!!!! I am sure that if all the pics of your classmates were shown side by side, they would look remarkably similar!!!
KFJ’s last blog post..TMJ Bites!
March 15th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
“Trapezoidal Cowl Neck Polyester”
That is SO the name of my next rock band!
Seriously, what a sweet, pretty face. And we ALL had those tops in the 70s—and thought they were the coolest. I love what Maureen said about that Seinfeld “low-flow shower” episode!
JD’s last blog post..I Give Out FABulous Prizes so you don’t have to
March 15th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I forgot to say: I notice how many more of your commenters have gravatars now! Except for me! Grrrr.
JD’s last blog post..I Give Out FABulous Prizes so you don’t have to
March 15th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Now, maybe?
JD’s last blog post..I Give Out FABulous Prizes so you don’t have to
March 15th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Regan — You’ll be fine. Let your hair do what it wants and no one gets hurt.
Natural Woman — Oh, thanks. I really do think it’s one of my worst, so it surprises me some of you think it’s not bad. What that tells me is I should run a contest and take submissions of your worst!
Kara — I have an overalls picture, too. Again, it’s horrible (though I bet you guys would say it’s nice!). Your idea is excellent. We did something similar at work, but no prizes (we weren’t as creative as you!)
Poetikat — I want that picture!! “Sausage roll hair”? Absolutely. Too many to count, but it was the style. Hilarious now, if course.
KFJ — Yeah, except for the pretty, popular girls. My only hope is they all have saggy boobs by now.
JD — It’s funny my hair turned out flat. It usually wound up looking like Chaka Khan. I don’t remember, but maybe I went in the bathroom and wet it down or something. Friz or low-flow shower look. Don’t know which is worse.
I emailed you why your gravatar wasn’t showing before. I’m so glad it is now. It’s adorable!!!
March 15th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
The world was a crazy place in the 70s. Actually, that hair and that top were high fashion back then. What I’m wondering is who hired the idiot behind the camera? There are so many shadows across your face it like like an eclipse of the moon in progress.
March 16th, 2008 at 8:12 am
Lee — The photographer probably thought “I can’t do anything with this. Let’s just hurry it along. Next!”
March 16th, 2008 at 11:37 am
The hair isn’t bad considering it was the 70’s. Now that shirt….
Blue Sunshine’s last blog post..Elliot Spitzer’s Prostitute Looks Like Matt Hardy
March 16th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
There’s nothing gross about that picture.
You just looked like some of the Italian girls I went to school with back then.
Libertine’s last blog post..Odd Dreams
March 16th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Yikes, i haven’t been here for a while. Been missing out on alot!
Hmm, you look okay in that picture. Maybe the top portion is a little flat but everything else is just fine. Compared to mine, you look totally awesome actually. I looked fat, my hair was everywhere and my clothes could not fit any worse. Horrible experience with cameras
BYE!
p.s. More people have mybloglog accounts than gravatars. I think.
usws’s last blog post..Party Pooper Pt.2
March 16th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Blue Sunshine — Yeah, the shirt looks as flat as my head. The more I look at it, the more I can’t believe I wore it.
Libertine — Funny you should say that. I get mistaken for being Italian all the time. For the record, I’m Irish and German.
usws — Where’ve you been? I missed you! I have one picture where my hair is “everywhere” (my kindergarten picture), but I can’t find it. The hair is sticking up in no less than five directions. But I admit I look cute. I’ll try to find it.
March 16th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
I make a point of destroying photos from my teen years. To my knowledge there are none extant.
This is also a test of my gravatar — thanks!
Stacey’s last blog post..Proximal suspensory desmitis: A common lameness in sport horses
March 16th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
you actually dont look to bad, but that shirt is hideous. Your actually pretty cute in your hairy aura, kind of way….
PS you have a new subscriber, within 30 seconds you can tell if someone has what it takes to carry a humorous blog…
after 2 minutes, i subscribed anyway
March 16th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
One mo time (skipped a step). Sorry for not posting this on the gravatar entry…
Stacey’s last blog post..Proximal suspensory desmitis: A common lameness in sport horses
March 16th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Oh meeeeee… I’m so glad I’m so old that none of my 5th grade photos could possibly still exist!!!! I’ll totter off now, droolin’ & grinnin’
March 16th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Kathy, Kathy, Kathy,
You look like half the girls I went to high school with, including two of the girls I dated! (I graduated in ‘81).
Don’s last blog post..Because I Do
March 17th, 2008 at 5:28 am
Stacey — I made the mistake of keeping them and they’re not all in one place. This means they jump out and scare me from time to time when I’m not expecting it. Gravatar looks great!
Oscar — Yep. It’s official. It’s hideous. I can’t wait to get another post up. I’m sick of looking at it.
yahooserious — Be careful. Are you sure your family doesn’t have some laying around?
Don — Let’s hope they had better hair and wore better clothes!
March 17th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Yer right, Kathy…….. The grin is gone……………….. I’m goin’ now…Droolin’ & shufflin’…….
:) 
March 17th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Actually i think you lucked out on this one. Photography was not then what it is now. The details are nicely muted, whereas if it was taken within the last decade, every puff, every frizz, would be highlighted.
Marie’s last blog post..A Night in the Life
March 17th, 2008 at 11:41 am
This is why God created Photoshop. The picture probably isn’t that bad, but it is faded quite a bit and it appears to be somewhat stretched horizontally. If corrected, it would look better…..but you would still be a bit of an ugly duckling. This is part of growing up, we have to go through the awkward years to be able to look back a realize how far we have come.
Bruce’s last blog post..The Dip-Shit - Lesson #8
March 17th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Now…based on the buildup I expected a photo much more horrific than this one. It has 100% less cowlicks, chapped lips, and crooked teeth than my fifth grade picture. You just have the pretty girl/unfortunate hair thing going on.
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Celtophilia
March 17th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Marie — You’re right. I’ll count my blessings.
Bruce — Precisely! I’ve come a long way, baby!
Shieldmaiden96 — At the time, and when I saw it again, it felt horrific to me. I suppose if I had braces and glasses, it would have been worse. But hair was everything. I always wanted it straight and feathered. Tried, but always wound up with sad results. Now I let it stay curly. Just wish I hadn’t fought it all those years!
March 19th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Geez, how’d you grow up to be so gorgeous? Unfortunately, my looks haven’t changed since I was about two. I looked like a Pekingese then, and I still look like one now. I’m enviously blowing raspberries in your general direction.
chartroose’s last blog post..The Lord of the Muppet Rings
March 19th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
chartroose — Bless your heart. Also, are you blind? Be sure to check back from more in the series of “I went out in public looking like that?” because there’s a lot more where this came from.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Hi Kathy,
There’s nothing wrong with your photos, your looks, or your style of dress in any of the photos you’ve shown so far. Stop being so hard on yourself! Be advised, I have never shown a picture of myself on my blog, lol. (I did, for about a week, then I took it down for a reason. I did not want to scare away readers. Be happy with yourself, and Happy Easter!
-Mike
Mr. Grudge’s last blog post..Writing Excercise: Creating Now for Later
March 21st, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Mr. Grudge — Judging from my latest post, I think the one that scares people the most is me as a clown! I wish I had known your real pic was up on your blog for that short time. I guess we only get the caricature version? You tease!
March 25th, 2008 at 8:38 am
My husband took one look and said : Hottie! I punched him.
janetharrigan’s last blog post..Today’s local Politically themed events
March 25th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
janetharrigan — Tell him I want to punch myself every time I look at that picture!
June 17th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
actually it is not that bad… but its kinda well interesting
June 17th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
brooke — You need glasses!