A Bridal Registry for the Insane
Fun May 10th, 2008The daughter of one of my husband’s cousins is getting married in July. Her bridal shower is next weekend and I got my hands on her registry code for Bed, Bath & Beyond. An online review of the couple’s selections reveals two things:
1. The couple will never have occasion to use half the stuff they requested.
2. People who’ve already fulfilled the purchase of some items are stupid, insane or both.
Why? Because these are the things they bought the happy couple:
 |
B. Smith 3-Tier Swivel Buffet Server
My prediction: Relegated first to closet, then to basement, then to yard sale. Suitable alternative: None. This item is ridiculous. |
 |
Oxo 3-Piece Ice Bucket Set
My prediction: Kitchen cabinet, then basement, then yard sale.
Suitable alternative: “The ice is in the freezer. Help yourself.” |
 |
Krups 4-Slice Waffle Maker
My prediction: Exactly one novelty use, then yard sale. Suitable alternative: Perkins |
 |
Pizza Baking Set
My prediction: “Who put this in the registry? When’s the next yard sale?” Suitable alternative: Domino’s. |
 |
Alderwood Bread Box
My prediction: Firewood. Suitable alternative: Um? The bag the bread came in? |
Honestly, I think the people who help couples choose items for their registry are evil. After the couple picks practical items like towels, dishes and silverware, they start suggesting things the couple won’t have room for and will never, ever use.
Dave and I have done well in 15 years of marriage with the inexpensive, sensible Corelle dinner plates and bowls we got as a gift. They cost someone 20% of the price of fancier dinnerware we received and we use them more often.
I brought the cheap silverware from my single days into our married household and when we needed more, guess where I got them? From my sister Marlene’s stash of wedding gifts she had in her attic that she never used. From 1972.
For the married folks here, what kinds of things did you get for your wedding that you never used? Did you sell them? Give them away? Are they still in your basement? It’s yard sale season, you know. Maybe it’s time to liquidate?
If you got a kick out of this post, subscribe to The Junk Drawer feed!
May 10th, 2008 at 7:05 am
1) Great post. Favorite Line: “Alderwood Bread Box
My prediction: Firewood.”
2) They should subscribe to www.Unclutterer.com - These are all “uni-taskers”
3) Buffet server could double as a plant stand, use ice bucket to pot the plant and the pizza ‘paddle’ to beat them senseless.
4) I think registries should come with a comments/ratings section to allow people to knock some sense into the bride and groom.
5) Can you imagine what the (possible) forthcoming baby shower will be like? YIKES.
BigNerd’s last blog post..Vee-Vah Indiana!
May 10th, 2008 at 7:05 am
The ice bucket made me el oh el.
Memarie Lane’s last blog post..Mighty Morphin’ Flower Arrangers!
May 10th, 2008 at 8:11 am
HILARIOUS!!!! The only maybe is the waffle iron…….if they truly have a love for waffles. Probably not. That is one yard sale I will avoid.
KFJ’s last blog post..Mom x 18??????
May 10th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Have to agree with you except for one item, the pizza stone. We always use it when we make pizza which is often. It gives you the best crust and you never wet it, just wipe it off.
Wedding gifts? Well we eloped on the top of a mountain in Connecticut so nope none of those, and no wedding expenses either, just a few irate parents.
Gizmo’s last blog post..Car Gets Up To 7,000 Miles To The Gallon
May 10th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Well, I have to say that I got married in 1969 and only got the most sensible presents. they got many years of use. In fact I am still using the carving set. The knife blade is somewhat thinner now ha ha! I can’t be doing with all this fissy fassy stuff - three tier, swivel buffet server??? Slap it on a plate!
Babs - beetle’s last blog post..Doodle You - Beetle
May 10th, 2008 at 10:14 am
I used my china maybe twice!!!! It is sitting in a bin somewhere??????
KFJ’s last blog post..Mom x 18??????
May 10th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Yummy waffles. That’s the only thing I would actually ever use. We ust had a yard sale a few weeks ago. I never knew we had so much crap none of us uses.
May 10th, 2008 at 10:59 am
Married in 1976 - you beat me Babs-beetle! I’m still using the glass mixing bowls we recieved, but the pretty blue glass water jug and glasses still have the ‘made in Poland’ stickers on them. They gorgeous, but so impractical, the glass is so thin I’m afraid to use them and the bases are so narrow … Yikes! Most of our gifts were practical, but then things have changed. We didn’t have ‘registries’ in those days.
Does that make me sound old?
Jay’s last blog post..Doodle Week!
May 10th, 2008 at 11:02 am
That is hilarious. I think the 3-tier buffet is a perfect representation the complete naivete of the engaged woman in terms of marriage expectations. But I’m not cynical
Sue’s last blog post..On Newstands Now: the Cellulite Issue!!!!
May 10th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Well, my husband and I are going on five years of marriage and didn’t have a gift registry. We just went to the courthouse, got married, and had my parents as the witnesses. Simple, to the point, and no one had to buy us things we’d never use.
Stephanie’s last blog post..“pumpkin’s out!”
May 10th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Kathy:
This is a difficult post for me. You see, I’m not a spender, or a collector. I could live off of a military mess kit. My wonderful Queen, however, probably still has her baby spoon from when she was two years old. She’s a hunter gather. She loves garage sales. She loves thrift stores. And she loves all of the other stores too. Shopping is her thing, so we have duplicates and triplets of everything we’ve ever purchased. When our daughter was little she even had two bicycles - one for a girl and one for a boy - just in case. We even have one of those wooden bread boxes you mentioned. Picked it up cheap at a garage sale. But I don’t dare use it for firewood. You know queens - the guillotine and all of that stuff. Gruesome. We have a miniature spoon collection hanging on the dinning room wall. That’s nice. But we also have extra spoons.
And, of course, we have triplicates of all of our dishes. Our cabinets are weighted down with dishes. But now that we’re ancient, I finally convinced her to use the better dishes she’s been saving all these years. You now, the ones we bought at the outlet center.
I love my Queen dearly, but our kids are in for a big surprise when we go to Heaven. Yes, Heaven. Our entire estate has been converted to stuff they’ll have to sell on e-Bay before they ever see a penny. I guess there is some kind of weird justice after all.
Great, funny post as always.
Happy trails.
Swubird’s last blog post..LAGUNA BEACH MAKEOVER
May 10th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
This should be mandatory reading for every bride-to-be. Regan, I know you think you’ll use a waffle iron, but you won’t. Frozen is sooo much easier.
We just did a huge basement clean-out, and I reckon about half of what ended up in our alley consisted of wedding gifts. I’d do it so differently if I could do it over. Can I? I need a new iPod…
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Flush so you don’t have to
May 10th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
I actually like the 3-tiered swivel thing. I’d put it on the table for it to hold … the butter dish, sugar, salt, pepper, gravy boat - all those things that clutter a small table in a small apartment. Like mine.
MsShad’s last blog post..Snicker. It was fun messing with my sister’s head. Cause if my head’s gonna be messed up, then hers might as well be too
May 10th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Some of the better things we received: 1 full-size flat sheet, 1 electric crepe maker, 1 cheap toaster that died before the honeymoon was over, & 1-$5 electric alarm clock that went the same way as the toaster. Items I still have & treasure: crystal flower vase & a pewter serving platter. A gift registry would have been nice 30+ years ago, but an ice bucket? That’s a new one on me!
May 10th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I have to disagree on two things. One the waffle iron. We use ours all the time. It makes an awesome grilled cheese sandwich and it even makes panini like sandwiches. Remember waffles are not just breakfast food. There are few things more satifying than fried chicken and waffles or creamed hamburger over waffles. Two the pizza stone. It is great for reheating pizza, warming rolls, making garlic bread, any bread type product that you want slightly crisp on the outside.
May 10th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I have to agree with others about the waffle iron and the pizza stone. You can keep the rest of the stuff though.
I got married in Vegas, and the only shower I had was after the fact, of course with no registry. Someone did give me an ice bucket and 14 years later I still haven’t used it.
May 10th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
EVERYONE — (or almost everyone) — If you ever get married again, you’re all getting waffle makers. Except JD, who will get a year’s supply of frozen Eggo’s.
And I forgot to mention what we have that we’ve never used: a four tier towel cake. It’s so pretty we didn’t want to disassemble it. Where is it? You guessed it. The basement.
BigNerd — Great link! Your idea about the comments is wonderful. Look at all the great advice we can give the newlyweds! “You’ll never use this. Or this. Or that. You’ll never have enough towels. Just buy towels.” Oh, boy. If they have a baby shower, she’s getting exactly what I got her for the bridal shower — gift card. Easy peasy!
Memarie Lane — I got an ice bucket for a gift once. Broke it and tossed it. No loss there.
KFJ — I’m against the idea of having to clean up the waffle thing after every use. By the time I clean it, the waffles would be cold. And, yes, I have to clean it before I eat what I made.
Gizmo — Hmmm, I could be persuaded into getting a pizza stone, now that you speak so highly of it. But does it fit in the bottom drawer of the stove? Good for you on avoiding the wedding insanity. Ours was small (only 85 total), and even that seemed like much to me. You saved a ton of money.
Babs (beetle) — I’m with you. I’m a paper plate girl. No fuss, no muss and no wondering where to put the stuff the other 364 days of the year.
KFJ — I say find it and use it! You only live once. Serve dinner on it tonight, even if dinner is only burgers and fries. Live a little!
Regan — Yeah, but would you help your Mom clean it? When you have a home of your own, prepare to find lots and lots of things you’ll swear just dropped from the sky.
Jay — I come from a practical home. We never had knick-knack type things sitting around. I’m forever grateful for that.
Sue — Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Stephanie — Hats off to you. It’s really something beautiful to do it how you did. So pure and simple. Good for you!
Swubird — You are a good, kind man. I love that you understand she has a need for stuff and don’t make her give it away. I think your kids are in for weeks and weeks of cleaning house. God bless them. They’re going to need a crew.
JD at I Do Things — Agreed. But you lose your mind a little when planning a wedding. It’s entirely possible the couple thinks they’ll use these things. I pity them a little. And, oh man, would I love a registry NOW. Drool.
MsShad — Ha! Oh, and the gravy boat? There’s a once-a-year item right there. Just like the turkey platter that I never know where I put from year to year.
Mama O — When I returned from a Paris trip, I desperately wanted a crepe maker. Thank God Dave made me come to my senses. Instant “shake and pour” pancakes do just fine. If I still had my ice bucket, I’d probably use it to hand-wash my car with. Seriously. Totally stupid item.
Liz — Your comment made me salivate. Can I come over for dinner tonight?
Susan — Well, I know two things you’d put in your registry if you had it to do over! It’s time to throw the ice bucket out, unless it’s worth something. In that case, sell it.
May 10th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Actually I predict that bread boxes will make a comeback
Here where I live we can buy bread without a bag. So if you live a green lifestyle you can choose to support bread without bag… and put it into your lovely bread box 
Wedding photographers blog’s last blog post..How to Choose the Best Wedding Photographer
May 10th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Back in my day …. lol, we didn’t have registries. Or maybe it’s because we weren’t wealthy. Most people bought me practical stuff from K-mart.
DrowseyMonkey’s last blog post..Any Ideas?
May 10th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
We have three fondue sets. THREE! And we have used one of them once and I hated it. I am not a fondue person. But the stores wouldn’t take them back because they were clearence items. Figures. So they sit in our pantry until I get brave enough to pawn them off on someone else.
Coincidently we got the Pizza rack and the bread box and use both regularly. I like my pizzas crispy so the rack comes in handy to even cook a delivered pizza a bit more. And the bread box is a necessity since our cats love to eat bread. They haven’t figured out how to open the box yet.
Vegas Princess’s last blog post..Thank Goodness
May 10th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
We eloped. Later, we did receive some nice cash, with which we were very happy. We found a home for the cash before yard sale season.
Hmmm… Maybe the bride and groom want to start a bed and breakfast.
May 10th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Swubird cracks me up!
On the bridal registry frontier, consider Pandora’s box officially and eternally open. I could go on forever but I’ll try not to.
I NEVER look at a bridal registry anymore … for the very reason you mentioned, Kathy. This stuff is crazy. When our daughter got married she had no idea what to aim that gun thingie at, to make her “list.” She was pointing it at anything and everything before she left that store. It was nuts. In such a state of sensory overload, and having never kept house how can a bride-to-be KNOW what she’ll need, aside from the obvious like towels and sheets? It’s daunting to the millionth power.
I give people picture frames or Christmas ornaments. The ornaments go over well, especially for autumn weddings, and no one ever has enough picture frames.
TG and I have been happily married for 29 years and never registered for so much as a toothpick. I had four showers and what I didn’t get, we acquired. The garage, all the closets, the attic, and every unused nook and cranny in this house are now CRAMMED with stuff we don’t use.
In conclusion … oh my soul, I laughed out loud at that ice bucket. I got an adorable crystal ice bucket for my wedding, with little silver tongs. A few weeks back from the honeymoon, TG comes home and the table is set and there is that ice bucket, holding ice. Just like the two glasses were. He laughed so hard at me, and has many times told the story. “There was ice in her glass, ice in my glass, and an ice bucket full of ice.”
HA HA. Don’t have the foggiest what ever happened to the ice bucket but I still have TG … and an ice maker in the door of the fridge.
Jenny’s last blog post..Yes … It Is Shameless Begging
May 10th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Wedding photog blog — Hmmm, bread without a bag? Interesting. But the problem is that the bread box takes up primo space on counters. If I could stow a half dozen other things in there, I might go for it.
DrowseyMonkey — No wealth here either. I had a registry because I guess I thought it was the thing to do. I would have been fine without it. I say nix the registry and let people give cash or gift cards. It’s so much easier for the guests anyway.
Vegas Princess — Oh my Lord. One fondue set is bad enough, but three? Yikes! Pawn them immediately! We have similar cats. One of mine likes to chew on plastic, so everything has to be tucked away. I don’t get it.
Amy — Smart lady. No fuss, no muss, but still cash! I feel bad for the couple. Their mix of “fulfilled” registry items is such a mish-mash. I’m glad I got them gift cards so they can get what they really need, which they’ll realize their first night. “I can’t towel myself off with this waffle maker.”
Jenny — I know. Swubird is always a guaranteed laugh riot. “..aim that gun..” Funny! It is rather hit or miss, isn’t it? You are in desperate need of a yard sale, my dear. LOVED your ice bucket story. Clink, clink!
May 10th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
I assume the waffle maker is to the wedding list what the the sandwich toaster was in the nineties.
Wedding lists are pretty much made up of stuff that you would like but are not stupid enough to buy yourself.
tfa’s last blog post..Bashing Summer Sports and Austrians
May 10th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
WEll then slap me silly and call me a lammo. I LOVE my pizza stone, have two fondue pots that we use regularly and the 3 teir thingy, GREAT for those holiday parties when staging the table can’t always go horizontal. The waffle iron is great for those quick breakfasts and the ice bucket we have holds a bottle of wine. But then again I’m a foodie, so there we are.
Carla’s last blog post..uninspired blogger
May 10th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
I’ve seen some pretty ridiculous things on those registries in my time. Like you said, you can tell when they’ve run out of actual needs and are just filling in the blanks in an attempt to give everyone they’ve invited something to buy.
Even though I like to look at them, I don’t think I’ve actually ever purchased anything from a registry list. Most likely because I’m usually buying the gift the morning of the wedding and all that’s left are $50 cork screws.
Jeff’s last blog post..Ode To My Mom
May 10th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
I want the waffle maker I grew up with. Big square waffles, and you could flip the plates to the flat side and cook pancakes, eggs, 4 grilled cheese sandwiches. It was handy. Now if I want waffles, I use the freezer and toaster, a la Eggo. I got married for the 3rd time at 45, and while you would think as this age, after several moves and yard sales, I would be immune to the ‘registry frenzy.’ Nope. We have a mini dustbuster, so I can vacuum tiny little dust bunnies for 10 min, then the batteries die. We also have a cappuccino machine, because I was going to make gourmet hot chocolate and chai tea lattes with the steamer. 2 years later, still sitting where I unpacked it covered in dust. Unsolicited strange wedding gifts? Large blue glass and plated metal serving bowls, that can’t go in the dishwasher. An appliqué clock (doesn’t work), A wood vase (???), along with assorted strange decor items I suspect are part of a re-gifting chain.
Best gift we ever got was a house warming gift. Our friends had just returned from Egypt, where they bought a kitchen set (potholders, etc) quilted of scraps of fabric the makers scrounged out of the city dump. As they gave it to us, they said ‘We think they washed the material first.’
Those items are still wearing their tags and sitting in a drawer..no way I’m using them.
May 10th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
My husband and I did the registry thing too- but thankfully no bread boxes were on it. We used wishpot and added things from all kinds of non traditional stores to our wedding registry- so instead of fine china we asked for and ipod and a new REI tent! Way more helpful for the real world. Besides I inherited my mom’s dishes that she got for her wedding and never used. Great post it made me laugh out loud!
May 11th, 2008 at 8:53 am
It took about a year before before we culled our collection of wedding gifts, hauled them off to the pawnshop and handed them over for grocery money (we had left our jobs in the big city in favour of small-town life and were both unemployed). The cuisinart was the one that reaped the biggest rewards. I like to take out my aggressions in food prep, so I didn’t need a machine to beat batter or knead dough.
You missed a key method of getting rid of unwanted wedding stuff - regift! Thank God no one I know reads me on the net since I’m admitting that I passed on a number of my wedding gifts to other “lucky couples”. (Just be careful not to regift them to the original giver. That would not be a good scene.)
Kat
Poetikat’s last blog post..We can help Burma!
May 11th, 2008 at 11:13 am
I never understood the reason for wanting an ice bucket…. they don’t seem to hold very much ice anyway. Just consider your refrigerator as a large “ice bucket” and be done! If you’re outside, what’s wrong with an ice chest? It’s the next best thing after the refrigerator. Maybe I’m not as “fancy” as those who feel the need for an “ice bucket”.
darla’s last blog post..When Reality Slaps You in the Face
May 11th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
I would probably have added the same gifts. I always have good intentions of doing things like making homemade pizza and waffles. I definitely have been done the road to hell…you know the one that’s paved with good intentions.
May 11th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Believe it or not, I was once briefly married back in the early 80s. The ex didn’t have a gift registry, but I remember getting some fairly useless gifts.
One thing was a large crystal salad bowl with sterling silver trim at the tops. I think the thing was meant to put a lot of salad mix into, then brought to the table for people to serve themselves out of.
You have to remember we were paper plates and plastic silverware people. We’d never have used anything as pretentious as this bowl.
In fact, I think I used it once to bail out the tub when it had a stoppage one time.
Libertine’s last blog post..Sharing Two Holidays on the Same Day
May 11th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
We eat on the Corel plates daily, although the wif will pull out the fine dinnerware when we have special guests (’bout once every two months or so.)
As for our gifts, the only gift we got that got rid of was a small orange juicer - we just buy the frozen stuff. Oh, we blew up our original waffle iron and are now on our third. Waffles happen here about thrice a week, so a waffle iron is a life necessity in our home.
oh, the other gift I didn’t quite know what to do with was the wand massager. It sat in its box for the better part of 17 years until, well, three weeks ago, when I tossed it. I needed the room for my golf balls.
Daniel Cox’s last blog post..Daniel’s Dish of Pointless Points - May 9, 2008
May 11th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Towels. Received them as a shower gift, of course. Fast forward 8 years. Was the first purchase I made as a new nurse after being a stay-at-home Mom for 3 years and on a family budget. Waited 7 more years to buy towels when we hosted a gaggle of high school girls for a weekend school function. Wonder how many years til my next purchase? Perhaps when my daughter goes off to college in 7 years? Probably, since it seems to fit our towel-buying time
frame.
Still using the Pfalzgraff dinner and glassware from my bridal shower 14 years ago. Good stuff. Durable and pretty.
May 11th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
tfa — I’ll tell you. I had no idea whatsoever that the waffle maker was so well-loved. I would have guessed it was a holdover from the 70s. I was so wrong.
Carla — I’m guessing this is your dream bridal registry then? They seem like just the things a foodie would need. A productive foodie, unlike me, who’s just an “inhale the food” foodie.
Jeff — I can’t remember the last time I bought off the registry either. As long as there are gift cards, I’m all set. God bless the gift card.
Shadowsrider — Of the things in your list, I could see me buying a cappuccino machine for myself. But only because it sounds small enough to keep on the countertop, and thus, it would get used. Everything else is a dust collector, including the dustbuster (ours is never charged either). Ewww on the potholders, but it’s the thought that counts, right?
girl e — Wishpot.com is a brilliant idea! It’s the sort of thing that can stop this madness!
Poetikat — I love that you turned impractical gifts into cold hard cash. That’s better than gifts taking up room and not getting used. I would die if I regifted to the original gifter. I’m safe with the gift cards.
darla — I can’t remember the last time I even saw an ice bucket being used. I guess we don’t hang out in “ice bucket circles.” (We’re not fancy either).
Lee — I couldn’t dream of making homemade pizza. It would be fun to watch me try, though. I’m sure more dough and flour would wind up on me than anywhere else.
Libertine — We are SO paper plate people, too. When preparing a spread for a party, I’m mostly thinking how I can do it with the least amount of clean-up. Hey, at least you got some use out of it.
Daniel Cox — Corelle stuff’s great. Holds up well and won’t break the bank for gift-givers. I’ve been craving waffles all day. Wonder why. Congratulations for daring to throw something out. A great moment in wedding gift history.
ann of the shampoo bag — I have a towel cake I can send you. And speaking of towels, I just bought some expensive towels that I normally wouldn’t buy. Thought I’d splurge a little. So disappointed. They’re not as absorbent as the cheaper ones. Lesson learned!
May 11th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Kathy: I was sharing your post with my daughter, and she reminded me of a bridal registry that beats all. I defy anyone to top this one: Twinkies, cold cereal, sanitary napkins, and I am not making this up…condoms!
May 11th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
I was at a bridal shower last weekend and thought the same thing when I saw the waffle maker come out of the paper. I’m not a great cooking artist, so I guess I don’t get it….Eggo, anyone?
The Chick’s last blog post..Just When I Think I Couldn’t Love Him More……
May 11th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
We married before the registry craze hit, so we went the old-fashioned route and just received what people wanted to buy. Although, I don’t know what made them buy these particular things.
Hands down, the most useless (and tasteless) gift we received was a pair of brass wall sconces shaped like butterflies that came from Home Interiors. I don’t know what happened to them. Only months before our wedding, I found myself at a Home Interiors party, where the consultant had an impressive display of brass wall ornaments scattered about. After she shushed the crowd, she became almost teary-eyed as she exclaimed in the most Southern voice she could muster, “Ladies, brass does for your wall what a smile does for your face!” She sold a lot of brass that night.
May 11th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Oh, I thought of another: Salad Shooter.
Enough said.
May 12th, 2008 at 7:35 am
In my house a waterford chrystal bowl. Talk about pearls before swine!!!
Stacey Kimmel-Smith’s last blog post..Comparing online horse supply sources
May 12th, 2008 at 8:09 am
I’ve been married 23 years. When we moved to a new house 5 years ago, I planned to get new dishes to replace the Pfaltzgraff I received as a wedding gift. I found so many matching pieces in my attic while we were moving that I changed my mind. It was like Christmas — I had all these “new” serving pieces that I now actually use.
I also use my waffle iron and pizza stone constantly.
May 12th, 2008 at 9:52 am
Totally off-topic but I have to ask: The Society of the Midnight Wanderers!!!!!! I clicked on it and I’m so jealous!!! It’s like all cloaks and secrecy and dark and special - do you get a decoder ring? It’s all so DaVinci Code. See this is why i get no invitations.
Sue’s last blog post..On Newstands Now: the Cellulite Issue!!!!
May 12th, 2008 at 10:10 am
I have to hand wash my china…..so it is a no go!!!!
KFJ’s last blog post..Survivor
May 12th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Great post which inspired mine today. OY VEY!!!!
May 12th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Hi! No registry in our time. It would have been a good idea though as it might have prevented the two’s and three’s of things. I’d have to say giving money and keeping things simple is the go. With the cost of weddings, photo albums and honeymoons these days, once you put the cost of these things together you may well have a small disposit for a family home. Now wouldn’t that be the perfect wedding gift?
May 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Mama O — Tell your daughter that wins the prize for the saddest registry (or the greatest joke registry?)
The Chick — I guess I don’t object to making waffles, more like “where am I going to put that when I’m sick of waffles?”
Amy — Hilarious! Oh, boy. Home Interiors. I must have gone to ten of those parties in the 80s and my apartments were subsequently decorated with lots and lots of it. When I moved out of my last apartment when we got married, it all went in the dumpster. Brass and all. What exactly is a salad shooter again? Can’t I just make a salad at the salad bar? Easy, easy, easy is the name of the game for me.
Stacey Kimmel-Smith — Wow, Waterford. I’m impressed. I’d break it before its first use. That is, if it made it out of storage and onto a table.
Susan — Awesome! Christmas in the attic! Got any left? Can I come over and shop?
Sue — No decoder ring, but I’d love to have one. It does look all cloak and dagger, doesn’t it? I’m so proud to be a member, but I’ve got to get cracking on some new material for it. This is what I submitted so far. It’ll make sense if you’re following the plastic bag story:
Caught Between a Branch and a Hard Place
KFJ — Anything that can’t be washed in the dishwasher never sees the light of day in our house!
Lauren — Great post! And what thoughtful gifts you gave. See how much better bridal showers can be? You should hire yourself out to do that for others.
Peter McCartney — Yes! THE perfect wedding gift. I almost never give a gift that can be wrapped. I want the couple to choose what they need most themselves, so cash totally fits the bill. Good to see you, Peter!
May 12th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Towel cake?! MMMMMM, towel cake……
May 12th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
LOVED the plastic bag post at SOMW. I so wanted to post my comment there about how they should come slumming over to humor blogs but I’m afraid of them.
Sue’s last blog post..Alien Math
May 12th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Well, our 28th anniversary is coming up in a few weeks. I wish I could get wedding gifts again to replace all the ones that have worn out over the years. Best gifts: towels and my electric wok… I love that thing.
I really can’t say that we got a terrible gift; and registries? Geez, that was for the rich, of which we definitely weren’t.
And I got my parent’s waffle iron; the same one I grew up with. That thing is incredible and is at least 50 years old…
Maureen’s last blog post..It’s What You’d Call Irony, I Guess…
May 12th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Woo-hoo! A year’s supply of waffles. I like the buttermilk kind.
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Threw Out My Wedding Dress so you don’t have to
May 13th, 2008 at 8:44 am
So am I a total loser if I use a waffle iron on occasion and make my own pizzas?
Sorry, I wouldn’t ever eat Dominos. Blech!
May 13th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Ice buckets are a holdover for the early 20th century. You know, Cary Grant comes home, whips a couple cubes in the highball glass and pour an inch of Scotch. In those movies, it was the FIRST THING they’d do as they walked in the door. Today, we’d be having an intervention.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:12 am
ann of the shampoo bag — It’s a shame I have a whole cake that can’t be eaten. Doesn’t seem right, does it?
Sue — Funny! The group is a nice, friendly bunch. But you know I was nervous about posting on MW. I’m glad I got over my apprehension.
Maureen — I always thought I’d like a wok. But where do you store the thing? That’s always the deal-breaker for me. I think the best registries are for places like Home Depot. Functional through and through. Can’t go wrong with that.
JD at I Do Things — One day soon I hope to stop dreaming about waffles. I haven’t thought about them as much as since I wrote this post. Leggo my Eggo!
Nectar of the Dogs — Nah. I think I’m the loser for not owning either! Love your ice bucket scenario. Thank you for the laugh. Priceless.
May 13th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
An ice bucket as a wedding gift? This is why I am never getting married again…..
May 13th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Bruce — You got me, but it’s the couple’s fault for putting in their list anyway. Maybe they stuck it there as a joke. I’d feel better about it if that was the reason.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
We were lucky. I didn’t use a registry, and despite having three hauls of gifts (the main shower, the work shower, the wedding gifts) we only had one set of duplicate silverware, which we took back to Macy’s and turned into two pairs of boxers and a pair of Hush Puppies for Himself. We got practical things; towels, dishes, mixing bowls, tupperware. Sadly we still have all the same stuff 12 years later.
Ice buckets are asinine. Just move the beer and scoop your cup into the cooler.
Yep. Classy we are.
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Freaky Friday, or, how I amuse myself when I drive all the time
May 13th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
PS I have that pizza baking set and I use it all the time. The paddle cracked in half though; I just scootch the stone to the edge of the oven rack and grab it with potholders and swear a little.
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Freaky Friday, or, how I amuse myself when I drive all the time
May 13th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Shieldmaiden96 — Yeah, our stuff is still going strong after 15 years. I did have to buy new drinking glasses last year, though. The cheapo ones. So what are you baking on your pizza paddle? Do you actually make pizza? Or is this the kind of thing I need for crisping breads and stuff? Seriously, I feel like I’m missing out now.
May 14th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
I totally laughed so hard when I was reading this. Our son is getting married next week and when I looked at their registery, I wondered to myself if they had any clue how to use half the things on their list. Their first anniversary will be a huge garage sale of whatever they didn’t regift.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:46 am
I make pizza dough in my bread machine and bake it on the stone, then add toppings and throw it back in to melt the cheese and whatnot. I’ve also baked crusts on the stone, cooled them off and put them in the freezer to use later. Its crazy cheap and better than frozen pizza. The crust doesn’t get all weird and sweaty and doughy on the stone.
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Freaky Friday, or, how I amuse myself when I drive all the time
May 15th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
coni — It’s a disease. I feel like I’m doing everyone a small service. For the love of God, don’t pick the ice bucket!
Shieldmaiden96 - I can’t believe you have a bread maker and actually use it! I’m so impressed! I’m such a loser.
May 16th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
The bread box thingy I removed the back half and passed a plug down to the electric outlet to keep all our charging devices out of site on the desk. Who needs moldy bread?
Fool’s last blog post..Looking for entertainment? The Decatur Celebration Has It 2008
May 16th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Fool — That is sheer brilliance! I love tidying up my electronics. Now if someone buys me a bread box, I’ll get out my saw.
June 3rd, 2008 at 5:30 pm
im not planning to get married because then we end up with that crap if i do i will say no gifts just hard cash (or checks)
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:03 pm
brooke — It’s really the best way. Then you can get only what you want and need. If you do register somewhere, promise me you won’t ask for a bread box? Trust me. You won’t use it.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
i promise who needs a container for bread just uwse the bag
June 10th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I’ll totally give you the breadbox…whatever. Not to mention wood picks up every nasty smell in the kitchen! However, that swivel tier thing would look great in my apartment’s kitchen. (Very late 40’s black & white tile with black counter tops & silver trim.) It would be a great place to put my spices on (I hate spice racks) or my small herb plants and being adjustable would make it fit that much better.
June 10th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
brooke — I’m with you!
Tiffany — Hmmm, didn’t think about the smell thing. Another reason to hate the bread box! I say pretend it’s your bridal shower and go get yourself a swivel thing. No time like the present. Presents!
June 12th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Honestly, too funny. I love it.
WeddingSavvy’s last blog post..Gown Designer of the Week - Elizabeth Fillmore
June 12th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
WeddingSavvy — Love your blog. I could look at wedding dresses all day!
June 25th, 2008 at 12:12 am
Your story reminds me of two friends who recently got married. They literally had 3 of everything on their bridal registry - 3 coffee makers, 3 microwaves, 3 blenders, etc. I went over to their home shortly after the wedding… and sure enough, they had 2 extras of everything still boxed!
June 25th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Shelly — I’m guessing those extras will be out on a yard sale table near you! Let’s hope the people who gifted them aren’t yard sale people.
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:49 am
In my years around weddings on a near daily basis (some very tacky), the 3-Tier Swivel Buffet Server still almost split my sides. Great entertaining post. :O
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Julie, wedding hair stylist — Glad you enjoyed it. I know some people would love something like that, and maybe I would too — the first and only time I used it. After that? It wouldn’t see the light of day.