Dear Praying Mantis, Count Your Blessings
Travel, food July 6th, 2008
Is it bad that I wanted to kill this thing because I was delayed loading my 4th of July foodfest gut in the car because my husband refused to leave until it leapt away, for fear that if it remained, the wind would blow it off and it would die a grisly death on the roadway?
Is it bad that my husband believes that it’s illegal to kill a praying mantis? (It’s not.)
Further, is it bad that I went to the 4th of July foodfest with the top button of my pants already unbuttoned, and that by the end of the day I appeared to be seven months pregnant and that all I wanted to do was dump myself in the car and speed to the emergency room because I was pretty sure I just ate my weight in picnic food and needed a good old fashioned stomach pump?
These are the things I’d like to know.
Humor bloggers like their bugs crunchy.
Stumble it!
July 6th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Hmmm, I don’t think any of that is wrong. Food is good, bugs are bad. Praying mantises fresak me out.
Problem solved. =)
July 6th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
I’m surprised you didn’t test to see if the praying mantis was an edible delicacy ha ha!
Who goes to a food festival? People who want to eat! You are expected to stuff your face, aren’t you?
Babs – beetle’s last blog post..The Name Meme
July 6th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
In my opinion, No, Yes, No.
BTW, God made pants with elastic waists for just these sort of occasions. It’s in the Bible. Look it up.
Ferd’s last blog post..Go USA!
July 6th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Girl you’re being too hard on yourself! Holidays were made for pigging out. We can all start over on Monday, being virtuous!
Your husband certainly has some interesting ideas …
Jenny’s last blog post..From July Forth
July 6th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
I had never heard the “illegal to kill a praying mantis” myth before, but now thanks to your Snopesy documentation *I* will forever be the wiser to that scam. I dare someone to try to pull that crap on me now!
Jeff’s last blog post..A Waste of Money-sota
July 6th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
In short:
No.
Yes.
Maybe.
I guess we now know why they pray.
July 6th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Yes, it’s all bad. Altho I remember as a kid hearing that it was illegal to kill a praying mantis.
DrowseyMonkey’s last blog post..Weird Hanging Arm Affliction
July 6th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
I am glad that you re-thought that visit to the ER given your latest track record with the medical profession.
Isn’t grand that Friday was the holiday and Saturday and Sunday were die on the couch days?
Rattln Along’s last blog post..Happy Fourth Of July
July 7th, 2008 at 12:38 am
oh i know that feeling of wanting to explode… I hope you recovered!
thank you for visiting my blog 
Triz’s last blog post..Almost made it to the party….
July 7th, 2008 at 12:46 am
oh i know that feeling of wanting to explode… I hope you recovered!
thank you for visiting my blog 
July 7th, 2008 at 2:21 am
He truly believes that?
July 7th, 2008 at 4:43 am
Regan — Correct, correct and same here.
Babs beetle — I might have, had my stomach not been so full. I can’t help myself at a picnic. Buffet-style gatherings are my worst enemy. I always pay for it later.
Ferd — I thought I’d try and look somewhat presentable by not wearing my ultra-stretchy stretchy pants. Lotta good that did me.
Jenny — Yep, today’s the day I cleanse. Water and celery and a moratorium on hotdogs and burgers for a month!
Jeff — I have to admit, I believed it for the longest time. I’d probably still believe it, if not for the internet. I think Dave was just trying to keep me from taking my shoe to it.
Canucklehead — If not for Dave making me wait while it scurried off, I suspect the story would have ended differently. I’m a lot bigger than that bug.
DrowseyMonkey — I wonder who started it. Maybe some bug expert who knows they’re really good for gardens because they kill a lot of unwanted pests. This one was almost cute, but this one? Not so much.
Rattln Along — Hadn’t thought of that! Yes, it’s best I stay away from doctors and nurses for a while. The weekend was definitely for recovery, except we brought a lot of food home from Friday, so the insanity didn’t stop until yesterday.
Triz — Yes, I’m recovered today and shall return to my normal diet, which isn’t a whole lot better, now that I think about it.
Erica — I’m thinking he was pulling my leg, just so I wouldn’t take my shoe to it. He does believe that all living things deserve a chance to, well, live. So even without the threat of a fine, we weren’t leaving until it was safely on the grass.
July 7th, 2008 at 6:40 am
I hear that the praying mantis is quite crunchy when dipped in chocolate. Hey isn’t that the bug that the female bites the head off the male after sex? maybe he was runing from his wife?!
Chris’s last blog post..Holding at 236
July 7th, 2008 at 7:01 am
@Chris:
Male mantises cannot inseminate until and unless their head it bitten off. Has to do something with the hormone rush, I suppose.
July 7th, 2008 at 7:23 am
If it makes you feel any better, i ate 2 dozen large shrimp and steak and many, many sides!!!!!
KFJ’s last blog post..Married to Excellence
July 7th, 2008 at 7:38 am
I’m not fond of killing living creatures, but baby praying mantises (mantii?) grow up to be adult praying mantises and this world needs no more of those.
And didn’t you wear your special “pants-expander” device to the picnic?
My mantra this weekend was, “I’m stuffed. I’m gross. I can’t eat any more . . . smells pizza GIMME!”
AND, finally. I’m submitting “4th of July foodfest gut” to Urban Dictionary.
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Got Drunk so you don’t have to
July 7th, 2008 at 8:44 am
I’m with Regan in that praying mantises (mantii? what is the plural on that?) sorta freak me out. The first one I saw was quite large, on the sidewalk being aggressive, and looking like the first scout of an alien invasion. That said, I don’t know what I would do if one were on my car. Again, because of the freaking me out thing…
Jenn Thorson’s last blog post..Watch the Birdie -or- Head Impacts, Avian-Style
July 7th, 2008 at 9:44 am
It is against the law to kill a Praying Mantis. It is statute #127.632, Subsection A of the Mantis Community By-Laws. It reads in part: “Anyone convicted of killing a noble Praying Mantis shall be sentenced to stand of the steps of their local court house with their pants around their knees positioned as if getting an injection from a cold hearted nurse. Such punishment not to exceed two and one-half hours in duration.”
July 7th, 2008 at 10:11 am
It probably would be polite to wait until the Mantis stops praying before you remove him from the car. Or is it “Preying” Mantis? In that case, you probably do not have to wait until he gets his prey. Because, that could take too long.
Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..Monday Mystery: Solve the Riddle!
July 7th, 2008 at 11:10 am
They make such a ….crunchy sound …. good thing you didn’t.
Then again, maybe it would’ve curbed the appetite. Blech!
We have one that had babies in our garden a few years ago. Since then, we’ve seen little ones all over the place. The babies have had babies! Oy.
Lori’s last blog post..Defining Success
July 7th, 2008 at 11:11 am
It’s bad that you wanted to kill it – why not just relocate the poor bug? And it’s bad that you went to the foodfest with your top button already undone and then ate too much.
Aaaah, thank you! That was quite cathartic! I feel sooo much better about my own sins now! LOL!
Jay’s last blog post..Who said cats can’t learn tricks?
July 7th, 2008 at 11:19 am
i see why you were angry at your husband and if i were you i would have made him flick it off or you drive home
July 7th, 2008 at 11:43 am
personally I would have screamed and ran away to get someone to smash it to smithereens!
april’s last blog post..“Oh BeeHave”
July 7th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Mantises kill other insects – including pest insects in your garden. You should leave ‘em alone
Steve’s last blog post..Zombies!
July 7th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I don’t like to kill things like that either, but I probably would’ve shoo’d it off instead of waiting for it to flee.
I am, however, in agreement with your husband, I NEVER would’ve driven off with it on there.
July 7th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
wasnt there another story about a praying mantis
July 7th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Chris — Someone would have to pay me a year’s salary to eat a chocolaty, crunchity bug of any kind. And yes, as Ulquiorra tells us, the poor male winds up headless after a night of fun. Poor thing.
Ulquiorra — Ew, and thanks. I had forgotten all about that fact until you mentioned it. I just googled it and I laughed when I read someone’s explanation for it: “It’s to stop the snoring before it starts.”
KFJ — It absolutely makes me feel better. I did well today. Actually didn’t feel like eating much. Could it be because I ate three days worth of food on Friday?
JD at I Do Things — A pants expander?! Brilliant! So much easier than losing weight. I usually have the same reaction to food after being stuffed. What’s one more entire pizza? I’m already gone. Foodfest Gut!
Jenn Thorson — The reason my picture isn’t so great is because that’s as close as I wanted to get. Even with the zoom feature. Dave said “Watch out. They jump.” That’s all I needed to hear.
Lee — Ha! Of course, I’m getting really good at mooning everyone, so the punishment isn’t so bad for me.
Daisy the Curly Cat — Yes, “preying” mantis is true, too. I’ve read what good little garden helpers they are. They eat all the nasty other bugs that ruin all your hard work. Of course, a cat could probably do as much damage, although I don’t think you have a mean bone in your body.
Lori — I don’t doubt it. So do millipedes, which I hate! Crunch, crunch, crunch! They’re great for your garden, so I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on them. They’re one of the good guys.
Jay — Glad to make your sins not look so bad. You can always count on me for that!
brooke — Trust me. Nobody wanted to try and flick it off. We were afraid it would jump on our faces and then who knows what would have happened next.
April — My knees got a little weak when I got close enough to photograph it. I was afraid to scream and freak it out. Might have wound up on ME then and nobody needs that.
Steve — They do, I’ve read, and just so you know, I would never kill one. I might wish it dead, but not at my hands.
DeadRooster — Yes, but shooing might have involved jumping and jumping might have involved me running down the street making a damn fool of myself. We left well enough alone, and thankfully he left before nightfall. Bless you, gross mantis.
brooke — Yes, you have a great memory. Here’s the story.
July 7th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Totally felt the same way, the ENTIRE weekend… Ugh holidays make me sick, literally!
DirtyLaundryDiva’s last blog post..Waiting for the shittastic day to end, ranting to pass the time…
July 7th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
it’s a myth?????
robert bourne’s last blog post..Life Cycles
July 7th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Mantises, much like most other bugs, creep me out.
As for pigging out, thats what holidays are for. Next year slip into something with an elastic waistband and go for fourths. -grin-
Nona’s last blog post..Photo Hunt: Pointed
July 7th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
ROFL at your hubby! And that myth is hilarious!
Does that mean that people will start seeing praying mantis in their grilled cheese?
Lori’s last blog post..Always, always, ALWAYS look up the reviews
July 7th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Praying Mantis eat the male after mating – now, that I think is slightly illegal.
July 7th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
DirtyLaundryDiva — And tell me why we go into these things knowing how we’ll feel on the way out?! Good to know I’m not alone.
robert bourne — It should be true. It’s kinda cool, isn’t it? A bug as an endangered species!
Nona — It’s their long legs and the fact they can jump on your face before you can duck that creeps me out. I’m totally going for big pants next time and a wheel barrow to get me to the car.
Lori — Now how did you know I had a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner? You scare me.
Mrs. Chris — It sounds criminal, doesn’t it? And disgusting. And bizarre. And that’s why I’m better off being 10 feet from them.
July 7th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Okay so I was just at a butterfly exhibit and there was a 3-D movie about butterflies and praying mantis(es?). It looks to me that this is a male mantis. So maybe he lived a little bit longer! I also ran into one in Chicago once and she was friendly looking.
Tiffany’s last blog post..Family Reunion
July 7th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those little buggers up close. My kid would have gotten him down for ya. He brings me bugs all the time.
P.S. I can’t believe that bag is still up there!
damon’s last blog post..How do you train to eat wieners?
July 7th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Are you sure he was that concerned about the praying mantis and it wasn’t an excuse to stay for one more beer???
Congrats on the baby bump. I know how uncomfortable it can be when you are that pregnant and that hungry! I’ll be on my way to that stuffed place in a few months, too. I saw a pair of maternity jeans at Motherhood Maternity the other day that I am going to buy when I finally outgrow all my clothes. They have a stretchy top section that reaches all the way up over the belly. Much better than the mid belly ones I had to undo my first pregnancy so I could even sit down any more
.
Sharon’s last blog post..Watch me morph into Jessica Alba
July 7th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Praying Mantises are awesome. I think he made the right decision. Though if you really were in a hurry junk pick it up and move it (though likely it would jump away when you tried). I saw one in my garden last week but when I came back with my camera I couldn’t find it (it was very small I might not have seen it but it landed on my head and then the ground so I spotted it).
Lindsay’s last blog post..Piano Man Rehab
July 8th, 2008 at 5:08 am
Tiffany — Sounds like a great show, the butterflies part, that is. Not sure I want to see a 20 ft. praying mantis coming at me. Now that we know what happens to males, they deserve to make it as long as they can. Geesh. Can you imagine getting your head chomped off just because you got a little amorous?
damon — Oh, I have no doubt your kid brings you all kinds of stuff you didn’t think you’d ever see up close and personal. Regarding the bag, I’m taking a picture of it today and will post about it soon.
Sharon — Nope, he just wanted to be sure it lived. OK, so I have no excuse for my feeding frenzy, as I’m not pregnant. I shudder to think how bad it would be if I was. We’d have to take out a loan to pay our grocery bill! Hmmm. Maybe I should consider buying maternity close anyway? God bless stretchy pants!
Lindsay — If it had been any other bug, I would have shooed it away myself. But the thought of it jumping on my face kept me at bay. Bugs on me = total fiasco and probably an injury sustained trying to get it off!
July 8th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Was the dear insect-considering gentleman not entymology-minded enough to scoop it up and put it on a tree or something, with an affectionate pat on its terribly green shell?
I have nightmares about them, and their beaky faces.
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Summer Reading for the Terribly Awake
July 8th, 2008 at 9:21 am
lol I think your husband is sweet but maybe you should’ve driven off anyway. After all, if it doesn’t know any better than to get off when you first approached the car to put in your 4th of July picnic shtuff then it deserves it’s grisly death! I hope you recovered from the over-stuffing
fragileheart’s last blog post..Happy Canada Day
July 8th, 2008 at 9:37 am
I remember being told as a kid it was illegal to kill a preying mantis. Didn’t stop me from playing with them though. Interesting it wasn’t true. Why didn’t your hubby just scoop the guy up and remove him from the car?
If I had been there, you would have had to roll me to the car. I grew up going to family reunions. My grandmother has 11 brothers and sisters, and this was the south, so you had to sample some of everyone’s dish, or they would get offended. I still do this, even at a food fest, where no one knows or cares if I tried their dish. You can’t escape your childhood brainwashing.
Shadowsrider’s last blog post..The basics, getting up there!
July 8th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Nope that’s not bad…but going to the festivities with your button already undone is hysterical.
Lauren’s last blog post..Being A Jew
July 8th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Shieldmaiden96 — No, the gentleman was not so inclined. And neither was anyone else. We were all worried we’d get a face full of bug if we went near it. Beaky faces!
fragileheart — Never happen. He’s a lover of all living things, yes, even the freak kind with gross legs and beady eyes. Yes, I’m better now. I don’t look pregnant at all!
Shadowsrider — Ah, another one who heard the myth! Weird, huh? Like how would anyone even know to fine you? This whole thing about tasting everything as a courtesy has gotten out of hand. We had enough food to feed an army, but we didn’t have to pretend we were one. There were only six of us! Geez.
Lauren — And sad. It’s never a good day if I have to unbutton before I’ve even eaten. There’s no hope for me.
July 8th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Praying Mantis are Federally Protected….don’t you know anything?????
Bruce’s last blog post..The End Of Days
July 9th, 2008 at 4:33 am
Bruce — I think what they really need is protection from the females who want to chomp off their heads!
July 9th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I honestly would have sworn it’s illegal to intentionally kill a praying mantis in CT – it’s our state bug!
July 9th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Nancy — Get the hell out. There are state bugs? OK, here we go: List of State Insects I’m in awe of you that you not only knew a state could have its own bug, but that you recognized this one as your own. Fascinating!
July 15th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Yeah, I’m special like that!
July 16th, 2008 at 8:08 am
Save the mantis!
Kill the ants!
Mark Herpel’s last blog post..Current Issue July
July 16th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Mark Herpel — Oh, don’t start me on the ants. We have them in our kitchen AGAIN. They invade the cat food. It’s disgusting and I don’t know how to get rid of them without also killing my cats.
August 2nd, 2008 at 11:04 pm
I am scared of praying mantis, grass hoppers (big ones), spiders etc. I can’t even kill them I am so scared :-/
JokesBoy’s last blog post..Help
August 3rd, 2008 at 5:18 pm
JokesBoy — Join the club. I can’t even look at pictures of bugs. And the longer the legs, the more freaked out I get.
November 5th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
A person should never kill a praying mantis. I raised them as a child and just found a little 1 1/2 inch runt that was too small to fend for himself at the onset of an early, cold fall. He would surely have died. They are the most intelligent of all insects and make excellent pets. This little guy, Manfred, I will call him wants to be held all the time. When I put him down or in his cage he waves his little arms at me like a baby that never wants to be out of reach of loving arms. I for one think praying mantises are an incredible creature. They are beautiful to me but intimidating to a rival who would do them harm. If I saw anyone hurt a praying mantis I know that I would nearly kick their ass over it because I have learned how truly special and loyal they are as a pet. He waits for me to let him out to play. If you think they are scary, I am sure you look pretty scary to them. I will admit I am afraid of most spiders, but I try not to kill them just from a “karma” factor. Hope the next time you see a praying mantis, you will remember they have feelings, too. Thanks
P.S. Should I delve into animal mimicry, camoflauge and their self-reliance in the wild. They makes great pets.
March 10th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Don’t lose hope, we can always exercise or in my case I use shapewear to hide the flab! Gotta fake it till I get there and no harm in that, right?