The Squirreliest Squirrel
Bizarre July 9th, 2008
I like nature. I like animals in nature.
I like squirrels. I like squirrels eating birdseed nearby. They look cute.
I like squirrels with their bushy tails, eating straight from the bird feeder. Very happy squirrels.
What I do not like is when happy, bushy-tailed squirrels get spooked because I put down my coffee cup too loudly on the patio table and they flip out and fall off the bird feeder, run down a pole, get confused, spin around a few times and then RUN UP MY LEG.
I’ll thank them not to do it again.
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July 10th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
What about the R.O.U.Ses? – Buttercup
July 11th, 2008 at 6:08 am
Yikes. That would be scary. I also don’t like it when squirrels run around your trees, dig up your yards, eat your plants, and then have the audacity to die right in the middle of your sidewalk with a pained expression on their face as if you killed them. Imagine my surprise when I came home one night to find a dead squirrel stretched out like a corpse on my front sidewalk for the entire world to see. SCARY!!!!
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July 11th, 2008 at 6:42 am
Kathy, I think you should have someone follow you around with a Digital video recorder for a week. You would have a year’s worth of blog entries that way!
Hey, maybe you could capture and train the squirrel to remove plastic bags from trees in exchange for nuts!
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July 11th, 2008 at 6:49 am
Kath, you know what I’m going to say about nature. Repeat after me…. Outside, bad. Inside, good. Set up your living room like this: chaise lounge angled toward the tv and patio window, positioned near the electrical outlets. Pull up a side table for coffee, snacks, remotes, and phone. Only leave the safety and comfort of the couch for potty breaks, food, and paid work.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:45 am
That had to be exciting for both of you! LOL We have squirrels galore here, too. What’s interesting is watching them scatter like flies the minute a fox comes into the yard. 🙂
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July 11th, 2008 at 8:50 am
Oh my gosh– and they have some serious claws, too. I hope you weren’t wearing sorts.
I scare the walnuts out of a squirrel every time I come home and drive up my driveway. He goes running down the driveway ahead of my car like I’m that giant ball and he’s Indiana Jones… And he scrambles up the fence, heart beating so I can actually see it…
I feel bad for giving him little squirrelly heart attacks each day, but– when will he learn?
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July 11th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Stop by via Entrecard and I have to agree with you totally on this one – EEK!!! I think I would have wet myself!
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July 11th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Kathy–I’ve selected you as a blog award winner. Please stop by my site to learn more. Thanks! 🙂
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July 11th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Babs — You’re so brave. I’d be worried one would sit (and do worse) on my head!
Bee — The only reason I haven’t insisted the bird feeder be moved away from the patio is because I was too lazy this summer to fill my planters. If I had, I’m sure the squirrels would have a field day with them. And then I’d have to kill them. Good luck with yours!
Amy who has a mostly clear nose — Thanks for keeping me on my toes. I love when I have to google something from the comments. Will you think any less of me if I told you I never saw “The Princess Bride?”
Henson Ray — The nerve! Here’s what they should do: Walk over to the curb, lie down (legs tucked under), and then go to permanent sleep, just in time for the garbage pickup, no? (I don’t want to know how you got rid of it. I just had lunch.)
Chris — I totally would, but I’m not prepared to be on camera yet. Someone would have to retouch 40 lbs off me, then maybe we can talk. If I thought a squirrel was smart enough to bring the bag down, I’d send him up for all the peanuts in the world.
ann of the shampoo bag — I’m sorry. I know I failed you. I went outside and deserved to have outside things happen to me. “…and paid work. Love how specific you are! You are my idol.
Lori — They do scatter, like bugs! You wouldn’t believe the menagerie that flees the second I open the patio door. I want to get that on film sometime. We are like Dr. Doolittle. Everything that crawls or flies comes to our house.
Jenn Thorson — I felt the gross little claws. I really do hate to think about it. Love the Indiana Jones imagery. Poor little guy! Pity him. His brain is the size of a marble. If that.
Linda — Welcome fellow EC-er! You really should have seen my face. Stared straight ahead and thought “Did that just really happen? Seriously. Did it?” I’m pretty sure this will happen only once in my life, so I’m good now.
Sandy — Thanks! I’ll be right over!
July 11th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I’m with Bababooey on this one. I not only hate squirrels, I am also scared of them. My husband thinks it’s hilarious. I always imagine that, since they are sooooo fast, they will immediately run at me, scramble up to my neck/face area, and start clawing and biting. Dirty vermin. (1st time poster–woohoo!)
July 11th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
The closest I can come to that is about 10 wasps under my shirt, happily stinging me, after I accidentally stepped on an underground nest. Oh wait maybe not. I had a very loud buzzing insect stuck in my ear once. I really panicked and shouted to my husband to GET IT OUT OF MY EAR!!! Do you have any idea how loud it was….wings flapping in my brain!
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July 11th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
That sounds like one of my exes. It was cute when she did it… the FIRST time. When she did it a second time, I began to suspect she was mentally disturbed.
Long story short, I was correct. Thank the good Lord for restraining orders.
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July 11th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I’m with you on this one. Have a great weekend. 🙂
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July 11th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
On a recent visit to a tropical place I felt a bug land on my knee; when I looked closer I realized it was a lizard. Eek! Give me the great indoors any time.
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July 11th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
If your ass looks like a table, maybe your leg looks like a tree?
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July 11th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I like squirrels too, but one running up my leg would be scary! They have such sharp claws too! Did you leg get all scratched up?
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July 11th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
The Mrs. hates squirrels. If that happened to her, she would demand that I squirrel proof the yard.
BTW, she insists that the squirrels intentionally wait for her to come home to toss acorns at her.
Yeah, she has issues.
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July 11th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
mlm — Welcome first time commenter! The first time’s always the best, isn’t it? They scare me like that, too. If they’d slow down to groundhog speed, I wouldn’t be so worried.
windyridge — Oh, that’s just awful. And I can’t even think about anything buzzing in my ears. Someone would have to knock me out. Ugh. That’s so nasty.
kev — And that is why she’s an ex. I’m surprised you would attract this kind of person, what with your awesomeness and everything. Kev, you disappoint me.
Comedy Plus — Beware the freaky squirrel. Have a good weekend yourself!
feefifoto — Ewwww! And that is why I have no desire to visit Hawaii.
Susan — A tree stump, actually.
Karen — Nope. It happened so fast, and he was still freaking out, so the contact period was short. But I can tell you I remember exactly how his grubby little claws felt. I’ll never forget it.
Joe — I think it’s impossible to squirrel-proof anything. I watch them get to the birdfeeder, and I’d swear they have suction cups on their feet. I do think squirrels have a mean streak, so tell your wife to watch her back.
July 11th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
is tha like getting up close and personal with nature..
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July 11th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
It’s a little known fact that squirrels are carnivieraous.
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July 12th, 2008 at 6:08 am
robert bourne — Flowers, trees, plants and waterfalls, yes. Living breathing things with claws, not so much.
Brent Diggs — I did not know this. I thought they were vegetarians. Oh, joy. So I really do have to worry about them gnawing off my leg?
July 13th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
The has to be the funniest freaking thing I’ve heard all week! The best part is imaging the expression on your face as it happened!
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July 13th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
JT — It was one of absolute bewilderment. Huh? Wha? Did that just happen?
July 14th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I woke up one morning and there was a squirrel sitting on the end of my bed, just looking at me. He got spooked and ran into another room. Once I fully woke up and processed all of this, I chased him (or her) outside where he (or she) proceeded to turn around and bark loudly at me, as if it was all my fault!
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July 14th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
@Louise–Squirrels can BARK?!?!? Does it sound like a dog? How have I lived on this planet for *mumble-mumble* years and not have known that squirrels BARK?!?!
July 14th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Louise — ACK! Are you kidding? Squirrels make the weirdest noises. There are some who fight at the top of the bird feeder. They sound like cats to me. Bizarre!
mlm — A barking squirrel. Now we’ve heard everything!
July 18th, 2008 at 10:52 am
hahahahahahahahahahaha That is hilarious.
I personally hate squirrels and love my Quinn (female Siberian Husky) who hunts them with quite a good bit of skill. 🙂 5 KIA to date.
July 18th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
castocreations (hzk) — Uh-oh. So I guess this proves squirrels aren’t that smart if they’re not telling their friends to stay far away from your house. See, I knew they were crazy AND dumb.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:34 am
thanks for sharing with us.
February 17th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Interesting blog, look forward to more.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
haha that’s funny 😀 ive had some trouble with squirrels crawling between the house floors.. boy it was scary at night.
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October 27th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
squirrels are awesome. thanks for the post
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April 3rd, 2010 at 9:17 am
Squirreliest Squirrel… hmmm…. donuts….
hehe, kiddin, I m afraid of squirrels :S
My father loose a finger playing with one of then, crazy stuff hum?
So, be careffull!