The Best Tech Support Call I Ever Got
embarrassing, tech support, work August 23rd, 2008
A computing consultant by trade, I tend to stay away from discussing tech support calls I get on this here blog.
Not because they’re not chuckle-worthy sometimes, but because there is an understood doctor/patient-type confidentiality agreement in place with the clients I serve.
But I think I can let one story slide. I feel I’m safe to share it because it happened many years ago in a former job and the woman who called has long since retired. I’m required to share it because it involved boobs.
The call went something like this:
Caller: Kathy, I’m having trouble getting to my forms for data entry.
Me: What screen are you on now?
Caller: It doesn’t have a screen number and I don’t know what it is.
Me: How did you get there?
Caller: I’m not sure.
Me: You should be able to get back to the main menu by pressing the F10 key.
Caller: Not working.
Me: Tell me more about what’s on the screen. Still not sure where you are.
Caller: It’s got some help stuff on it and it doesn’t have a place to enter a new screen number.
Me: OK. It sounds like you’re in a sub-menu. Try pressing the Esc key once, then F10.
Caller: Yes! That worked! Thanks!
Me: No problem. Boy, that’s a weird one. I still can’t figure out how you wound up there.
Caller: (Whispering) Well, I was a little embarrassed to tell you. I dropped a pen on the floor and when I leaned over to get it, my boobs smashed a mess of keys on the keyboard. I didn’t know which ones they took out.
Me: Oh, that’s rich. I don’t think I’ll ever get a call like this again in my entire career.
And I never did.
Remember, ladies. Watch your aim.
——-
Check out Humor-Blogs.com. It’s smashing!
Stumble it!
August 24th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
ettarose — Oh, mine too! Makes a nice shelf for catching crumbs and drips of ice cream.
Carla — If you could just set them aside while you’re on your outings. Is that too much to ask?
Regan — I checked out the site today and have to remember it exists. I’ve no doubt I can submit something in the future.
Broadway Matron — Oh, I’m so sorry, but thanks for the gut-busting laugh! I could SO see that happening to me. Only it’d be in a paper shredder.
chatblanc — Wrong and funny if they did. I love the images you guys put in my head!
Joe — It’s because you’re smarter than me. I’m always a little slow…
Babs beetle — Are you kidding? You know I don’t have any graphic design skills. I got real lucky searching for a keyboard on Morguefile.com. Perfect, isn’t it?
brooke — Nice technique!
tfa — I truly believe someone did that.
August 24th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
I live for a call like that! Just once, can’t a client just say the word, “boobs” once….just once. My career would be complete…
August 24th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Bwahahahahahaha. I don’t think I would have told you what happened. Just saying. 🙂
Comedy Plus’s last blog post..Present Whereabouts…
August 25th, 2008 at 4:38 am
You might get better tech support calls. Not by much, but you might.
RG’s last blog post..An Announcement, Plus Other Things
August 25th, 2008 at 5:22 am
BabaBooey — Yeah, but then you’d never get through the rest of the call. You’d be on the floor.
Comedy Plus — I’m glad she volunteered the information. Gave me chuckles ever since. Try to have a backup explanation in case it happens to you.
RG — I think that was it. Nothing remotely better ever came along in all these years. Ah, but it got a lot of mileage.
August 25th, 2008 at 6:51 am
I do computer support for a living, too.
This post has inspired me. I will completely rethink my usual line of questioning…
“Baba, my computer won’t turn on.”
“Well, let’s see…are the cables all connected?”
“Yes.”
“Is the monitor turned on?”
“Yes.”
“Do you currently have your boobs pressed against the keyboard?”
“Oh, why, yes!!! Is that the problem??”
August 25th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Did she look like Norbit’s girlfriend? I wonder if the horn in her car honked every time she adjusted her seat?
Bucky’s last blog post..More Like The “Slow Tech Corridor”
August 25th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Kudos to her for actually fessing up that this was a boob-driven tech issue.
And kudos to YOU for waiting this long to blog about it. 🙂
Jenn’s last blog post..Cracking the Fortune Cookie
August 25th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I’m glad that we haven’t had any stories from men who do data entry with a laptop from home in the nude. I know of one blogger who really blogs in the nude, and inspired me to write about it. (It is a woman) But there’s som things I really don’t want to envision or try to imagine.
Chris Casey’s last blog post..Cleaning out the Garage
August 25th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
This post ought to increase your readership through Google searches. Let’s see… one possible phrase that could bring someone here: watch rich working girl boobs
Yep, all those words are here!
August 25th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I am a copywriter for a company and often when I call the customers to say their work is finished, they get mad and say they don’t want to buy whatever I’m selling and don’t believe me when I tell them they already purchased the product. “I never purchase things over the phone!” “No, you already bought it when you…” “The hell I did!”
Mike’s last blog post..The First Day of School
August 25th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I would totally ‘fess up to that; I would rather say “It was my boobs” than “I’m an idiot and navigated somewhere under my own power and I can’t get out!”
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Why I Love My Husband
August 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
All I can say is wow…LOL
Jessica’s last blog post..The Best Parts of My Weekend
August 25th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
BabaBooey — LOL. I think they need to put that in the training manual under “When all else fails, ask about boobs.”
Bucky — Oh, geez. I have to stop reading these comments in the office. People keep hearing stifled chuckles from my cube.
Jenn — Boob-driven tech issue. That has such a nice ring to it for some reason. Yeah, can you believe I waited this long? I mean, it’s boobs!
Chris Casey — Well then why’d ya make me envision “guy naked with laptop.” There will be payback.
Jeff — I’ll have to keep my eye on my Google searches. I’ve been pretty lucky so far to not have gross people winding up on my blog. Considering all my butt talk, that’s really remarkable.
Mike — And that’s when you just let them keep going. “There, there. Get it all out.” Now where were we…
Shieldmaiden96 — Use the boob defense whenever necessary.
Jessica — Never thought you’d read something like that, did you? Tech support. You hear everything.
August 26th, 2008 at 12:45 am
Kathy,
This is rich. This has actually happened to me, but normally I am just typing a paper so I can usually figure it out!
To the other commentors, you know who you are, my butt changes channel too and my cat loves to help edit documents. She thinks she is helping. We call it Sophie is working.
Tiffany’s last blog post..In Twenty Years They Will All Be Deaf!
August 26th, 2008 at 6:44 am
*LOL* What a story! This happened to me too, several times I must admit. Boy, am I thankful I never had to call the helpdesk! 🙂
Tink’s last blog post..COT #18: Freyja’s places
August 26th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Having been in a training area for several years we run into unique situations also. Once while I was training via conference call and webcast (distance learning) a participant informed us on the evaluation what could have been done better, she replied that the monitor was too far away to see the training adequately. And this was my issue how? She just needed to move her chair closer to the monitor.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Oh my! I can’t believe she admitted that!
Momo Fali’s last blog post..I’m Not Sure How I Got Talked Into This
August 26th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Boobs are the bain of all computer tech support. Often times I will get calls such as this and think to myself, “She must have leaned over on the keyboard”…but I can’t rightly ask the caller if her tits punched the wrong key combination, I would loose my job.
Bruce’s last blog post..Not Being Subtle
August 26th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Yep, guilty! I always sit on my couch with my laptop and I do that a lot when I try to reach for my coffee or something off the coffee table. Never done any damage before though, I just might look to find my post I’ve been working on full of some sort of gibberish or something. I have more of an issue with the crumb catcher my cleavage has become, I’m constantly dropping things down there lmao.
Jolene’s last blog post..Feature Friday #4
August 26th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Guilty! That exact thing has happened to me too! I do my best to control my “girls” but sometimes…
August 26th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Since you do tech support, you must an Indian accent. No?
August 26th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Hilarious! Thanks for sharing!
Jesse’s last blog post..Free Blinking Lights!!!
August 26th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Tiffany — My problem with one of my cats isn’t the keyboard, per se. It’s that he insists on standing directly between me and the keyboard with is butt pointed straight at my face. It gets my attention and that’s all the little guy wants.
Tink — You can always say papers fell on the keyboard. They never have to know the real deal.
Mander — Geez. My solution? Stop handing out evaluations. (Only half-kidding)
Momo Fali — Me neither, but God bless her for sharing!
Bruce — You’d set a record for shortest time getting fired, no doubt. But aren’t ya tempted?
Jolene — The girls do have a way of interfering, don’t they? Although they make a nice table for crumb catching. Thanks, boobs!
RG — We need a reset key or something for times like these.
PaulsHealthBlog — Nope, we’re right in the building where our clients are. I won’t get into how much that pains me. Although it’s easier to support them on the premises. I don’t do phone tech support as easily.
Jesse — Glad you got a kick out of it.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:43 am
Should we have boobs sensitive keyboards and devices? I think that is the funniest coincidence i have even came to know about.
August 28th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
This explains why you’ve never seen Dolly Parton use a computer in a movie…
kev’s last blog post..Single, Awesome Male Seeks Single, Awesome Female
August 29th, 2008 at 12:56 am
Hi. Nice story, a good laugh. What crossed my mind right away was: “poor lady, her boobs were so big that got in the way”. Thanks for sharing funny stuff.
Regards.
Mizé’s last blog post..Awesome Site Award for My Countryhome
August 29th, 2008 at 6:12 am
Haarausfall — Yes. And when sensors go off, it should scream really loud “Boobs off the keyboard! Boobs off the keyboard!”
kev — Dolly probably doesn’t even use a computer or she’d be leaving a trail of “busted” up keyboards in her wake.
Mize — And now I’m wondering if that’s the first time she had a problem. I wonder if she injures anyone in front of her when she kneels down in a pew at church.
September 18th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I don’t know why this reminded me of that huge-breasted woman who crushes cans with her boobs. I saw it on Spike TV… Always educational! LOL
Corrina’s last blog post..Why Recycling Is Bad
September 19th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Corrina — Oh, geez. I gotta try to find that on YouTube. (Or is it YouBoob?) Funny!
September 29th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
LOL! You receive a really funny call. She had to be really big to knock the keyboard on the floor and to take out the keys. Yes, I think it’s very rare that something like that happens everyday. I don’t think I would have call for help but figure out what I did wrong. Also, I would have told another version of the story. I really enjoyed the story.
September 30th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I have to put my two cents in on this one because i too was once in tech support and i can attest to the weirdness of the occasional call but you have to admit Kathy, it certainly breaks up the day when you get one of those and you have something to talk about to everyone you see in your department. Thanks for the laugh.
September 30th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Therapy New York — I think all of us would have lied (or just kept it to ourselves). I’m thrilled this woman got a kick out of what she did and felt so inclined to share with me!
Annie Keys — Yes, it beats the usual list of boring “I forgot my password” calls. One for the record books!
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:47 am
I have heard that being a pilot is hours and ours of sheer bordom interupted by moments of terror, I can’t say I was every terrified in tech support but I certainly agree with the hours and hours of mind numbing calls interupted by the gem of idiot call humor. I think my favorite idiot call was when you figured out that they had not even turned on the computer yet. it is almost like you feel sorry for them in their poor state of technology ignorance. Even sadder, you know they will never in a million years be able to enjoy the advancements of our modern society let alone be comfortable in it. I guess we are blessed, at least that is how I feel.
October 7th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Annie Keys — That’s a great analogy! You’re right. Sometimes you have to be sympathetic. I feel that way for the older crowd, who never grew up with it or into it. They’re a bit like lost souls.
December 8th, 2008 at 1:28 am
Ekekeke! Too funny, 🙂 thanks for sharing that one with us
Addy’s last blog post..By: pligg.com
January 26th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
I think a number of us are saddled with this affliction. But it is a lifetime kind of thing. You sort of get used to “the girls” and that way you don’t bonk people in the arm when standing in the elevator, or forget and buy a blouse you shouldn’t just because it looks great on the manequin!
January 29th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Addy — Still makes me giggle.
DM — Blouses! The one thing I always look for is whether there is too much space between the buttons. Unless you’re flat-chested, you’re going to be giving free shows as long as you wear it!
April 7th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
LoL…this is one funny story!
February 17th, 2010 at 10:35 am
hahahah…
funny story..
keep on writing like this…
thanks you very much
^^
.-= unlocked phones´s last blog ..Canon Camera Manuals =-.
June 13th, 2010 at 9:04 pm
Well, at least the caller didn’t spill coffee in the keyboard, or some guy who uh bumped the package on the keys!
August 27th, 2010 at 9:56 am
Having taken some tech support calls, this is pretty good. I’m glad she was honest (because callers aren’t always honest when they are asked what happened!)
September 3rd, 2010 at 2:57 am
Very funny, but I do. Although I admit that I am not in the same jam. My breasts love to eat everything I eat. I can not get them to behave. My shirt was always a kind of food in the front. That is what I have to hang on the table.