This Will Be Me in 40 Years
Stuff I hate August 12th, 2008
While waiting for my car to be serviced today, I had the pleasure of listening in on a meeting between two elderly gentlemen sitting next to me. Complete strangers, I might add.
Since I had my laptop with me, I decided to take minutes.
Old Guy 1: I went to my doctor for stomach problems and he wound up finding I had polyps on my prostate.
Old Guy 2: I have arthritis. Have to get shots every three months.
Old Guy 1: Oh, I have it, too. My feet really bother me.
Old Guy 2: You better believe it.
Old Guy 1: Man, I can’t wear certain shoes. I got rid of the shoes I couldn’t even wear.
Old Guy 2: I like work boots. Can’t wear those either. I wear these (points to sneakers).
Old Guy 1: My feet are killing me. Especially this one (lifts and points to right foot).
Old Guy 2: Unintelligible rambling about pain in another body part.
Old Guy 1: Yeah, probably all that hard work outdoors. My dad died in his 70s.
Old Guy 2: Yeah, but hard work’s supposed to keep you young.
Old Guy 1: I had a dead tree in my back yard. Made my son help me with it. Let me tell you. I was beat for two days.
Old Guy 2: I have a hard time mowing.
Old Guy 1: On Wednesdays, I mow.
Old Guy 2: More unintelligible complaints.
Old Guy 1: My back hurts every day.
Old Guy 2: You ain’t kiddin’.
Old Guy 1: I have such a hard time losing weight (Me, to myself: I hear ya brotha!)
Old Guy 2: I can’t eat bread. If I eat bread, I gain weight right away.
Old Guy 1: That’s my problem, too.
Old Guy 2: I gave it up.
Old Guy 1: I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. Try to eat lean. My blood pressure’s always been a problem, but my cholesterol is great. 170.
Old Guy 2: Eh, but whatdya gonna do? I figure as long as I don’t have the Alzheimer’s gene, I’m good.
Old Guy 1: Yep. I hear that.
And then my laptop battery died. They went on like this for another ten minutes until Old Guy 1’s car was ready and the duel for the title of Who’s Got It Worse ended.
God help me. I don’t want to get old.
Stumble it!
August 13th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
@Kathy: Thank you, you’ve been a wonderful audience. Say Good Night, Kathy. 🙂
Richard Catto’s last blog post..[XKCD CARTOON] Who you gonna call?
August 13th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
What is the game your dad plays?
Rattln Along’s last blog post..Happy Fourth Of July
August 13th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
As long as they both still drink beer, they’re in good shape. It’s all about the beer!!!
August 13th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Well, I could say it was just a regular day, LOL! But there was an Anime convention at the Inner Harbor. The streets were filled with folks dressed as Anime, video game, fantasy charecters. Here’s a link
I say bring on the complaint list, I’ve got a good chance in that contest, LOL!
I like the poem ‘When I am old’ by Jenny Joseph
I plan on growing old that way, LOL!
Mostly though, I want to be this lady Oldest Cowgirl
101, and still riding horses and living life her own way. I understand she died this year, but what a life!
Shadowsrider’s last blog post..Virtual reality, I protest!
August 13th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
i love how old people can find someone to talk in secounds and they talk the most random things like trees,fruit,diseases, and the olden days
hope you dont get old! or your blog will be about you diseases and your nursing home
August 13th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
It sounds like a lot of you are ready to roll over and die now. Remember, for every person who sits around moaning there is a fully functional older person out in the world givin’ er heck.
I fully expect to enjoy being cantankerous and feisty well into my 50’s. Then I’m really gonna open a can of whoop ass and let the partying start!
Tim’s last blog post..Riding Woody
August 14th, 2008 at 3:59 am
Joe — Oh, yeah. We all start out that way. I give you props for sharing your illness (and pictures!) on your blog. You rock. How’s the leg these days?
Lee — They should count themselves lucky, actually. They were both out and about, and clearly they still drive. The alternatives are far worse. I plan on working ’til I drop, so I don’t have to sit around and wallow. That can’t be healthy.
Richard Catto — Good night, Kathy.
Rattln Along — It’s called Slingo. I stupidly introduced it to him when he got his first computer in ’97. If you have 15 minutes, go read about it here. It’s the first entry on this blog; the story of providing tech support to my Dad.
BabaBooey — Hopefully not while driving. That’s what we need. I’m sure they’re not, though. If they gave up bread, they gave up beer.
Shadowsrider — Wow, they’ve been running that convention for 15 years! Oh, I love that poem. I want to grow old that way, too. If I make it to 101, it’s going to be a very cranky 101.
brooke — You’re right! As soon as Guy #2 sat down, they launched right into it like they knew each other for years. Yes, when I’m old, this blog will be nothing but stories about how my nursing home roommate stole my cookies and won’t stop talking when I’m trying to sleep.
Tim — My parents are two of them. Both in their 80’s and going strong. Amazingly, they have very few ailments to complain about. I hope that means I have good genes! Your 50’s? LOL.
August 14th, 2008 at 7:00 am
Gawd….I think I’m really close to there already.
Lori’s last blog post..When I grow up…
August 14th, 2008 at 9:46 am
wow, all I have to say is, don’t go to the doctor. They want to tell you everything you don’t want to hear and then some. I am doing my darnest not to get old. I exercise and have stayed away from the bread. Anyone tried the SoyMilk vanilla. It is really good. I was really surprised. anyhow, loved reading everyone’s thoughts.
August 14th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Oops! I missed spell blogspot. http://www.myphysiqueinc.blogspot.com That other site. I don’t even know what that is, but it ain’t mine. 🙂
August 14th, 2008 at 10:32 am
This sounds like every conversation I’ve ever had! 😉
kev’s last blog post..Ask Kev: Tips for Teachers
August 14th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I wish I had read very Pithy comment si Could no for certain that some one elkse didn’t steal my thunder, But I
Don’t
Have
The
Time.
Any way getting older beats the alternative all to heck.
Ta daaaa!
Beamer
Beamer’s last blog post..Palm in the shadows
August 14th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Geez, now I wish I had an edit feature so I could make sense out of my post:
Comment so I could Know – Yikes
Beamer
Beamer’s last blog post..Palm in the shadows
August 14th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I’ve actually had similar conversations with my cousin. We stop and laugh and say, “Listen to us we sound like old women.” We don’t feel old.
Christine Thresh’s last blog post..Delta Day
August 14th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
To answer your question: If I’m driving I don’t have to deal with the patient at all, and they can’t hear me, though sometimes I listen in on the fun on the intercom. As far as being in the back goes, I’m just glad she didn’t break her streak while she was with us. It was a pretty bumpy road…..
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..County Fair
August 14th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Hell, this was me yesterday talking to my wife!
Bruce’s last blog post..My – POV [Encanto Lake]
August 14th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Oh man, that would have driven me crazy, beat me gently with a walker (texas ranger).
Acorn King’s last blog post..How to kill a mime, without making a sound.
August 14th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Thanks for asking. The leg is doing much better.
Joe’s last blog post..Caption This Winner Announced–Blogosphere Rejoices
August 14th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
At least they weren’t talking about their sex lives. THAT would have made me throw up in my mouth a tad.
xoxo Danity
August 14th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Lori — Don’t worry. You’re in very good company.
pkavfit — Sounds like your staving off the aging process pretty well! I’m doomed. Haven’t really exercised in weeks. Soy milk? Hmm, maybe on a dare!
kev — Because you feel old, or because you’re always one-upping everyone? I’m sure your awesomeness has you winning every time.
Beamer — Sorry, I should add an editing feature. I actually have it on my to-do list, so people can screw up all they want. What does it say that I understood you perfectly?
Christine Thresh — I do it, too. My sisters and I can really get a good one going. My older sister gives me the low-down on everything I can expect in the coming years. I don’t want to talk to her anymore.
Shieldmaiden96 — Ewwww! Clean up in aisle 4.
Bruce — Join the club. But do you win?
Acorn King — Couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. I could barely keep up with their ailments. I type pretty fast, but they gave me a run for my money.
Joe — So glad to hear it. You had quite a nasty sore there. Sending good vibes for a quick heal.
Danity Donnaly — Oh, dear God. Not that!
August 14th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
With the litany of complainst I sometimes hear coming out of my mouth, I hope I’m not like that in 40 days!
Brenda’s last blog post..Sharing a bath (revisited)
August 14th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
i just thought of something what will me and regan read cool if you get old *shivers at thought* gasp
August 14th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
I am with you on the jeans! I wear my jeans until they literally fall apart because it takes forever to find a pair to love! Very funny post!
Heidi’s last blog post..How Fat Does Fast Food Make You?
August 14th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Try this one: http://www.bestvistadownloads.com/software/k-casual-game-t-free-mostfun-slingo-quest-free-unlimited-play-version-download-bwpwavnx.html
Not sure if it is the same or an “improved” version.
Rattln Along’s last blog post..Happy Fourth Of July
August 14th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
You don’t have to be old to see the glass half full- it’s all in your attitude.
Louise’s last blog post..Barbeque Shrimp and Cheese Grits Recipe
August 15th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Brenda — If you knew how often I complained out loud (and in my head), you would never want to sit down next to me. I could give you a run for your money.
brooke — Maybe you’ll both have to take over the blog because I won’t be able to move my fingers (arthritis) or see it (poor eyesight) or understand what I’m writing (general forgetfulness). Promise you’ll help me?
Heidi — Would you believe I almost tried on more jeans at another store today? I think I have an affliction now. I know in my mind there are no perfect jeans for me, but I keep trying. What is wrong with me?
Rattln Along — OMG! This might be it! It’s specifically designed for Vista, right? I’m going to try it out and let you know if he’s happy with it. You might have just saved the day!
Louise — I know it doesn’t sound like it, but I do generally see life that way. It just doesn’t make for good cranky humor.
August 15th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Geez, I don’t care how old I get so long as I don’t get “polyps on the prostate”! That sounds painful, or to steal a line from Dave Barry, that would be a good name for a rock band.
It is amusing and sad to hear older folks do the dueling diseases thing. But come to think about it, I find myself doing that sometimes. Yikes!
Leeuna’s last blog post..Making New Friends
August 15th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
o my god! You can’t make that stuff up! Classic!
Margaret’s last blog post..How To Mercilessly Taunt Those Who Raise The Dead
August 16th, 2008 at 3:26 am
Leeuna — It would SO be an excellent rock band name. Or maybe The Kidney Stones? We’re all in the same boat, so no worries.
Margaret — I’m so glad I took my seat where I did. It was a gift they just handed me.
August 16th, 2008 at 5:58 am
DP we have any limits to be called old people? I am 32 and I have diabetes, Blood Pressure problems, some skin infections, overweight, and high cholesterol. I am not hoping something good but I have all that at this age so what will go on with me in near future, I am distracted.
August 17th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Haha. I love listening to old people conversations. They are usually the best.
The best thing about getting older seems to be that you can say whatever you want with nobody stopping you.
Old men are dirty too. I’m surprised you didn’t hear any of that, haha
iMike’s last blog post..911 Call
August 19th, 2008 at 1:39 am
The pain of reality is killing us… natural healthy living is the only way while we are still young. Thanks for this post, more are becoming aware of the importance of healthy living.
jackstowe’s last blog post..Are Fruits More Natural To Eat Than Herbs?
August 19th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
i promise
August 19th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
nintendo wii fit — Ouch! If it makes you feel better, I’m overweight as well. It’s a constant battle and I know if I can get it under control, I’ll feel a world better. You have lots of company.
iMike — What killed me most is they were complete strangers. All the one guy did was announce his first ailment and it opened up the floodgates for the rest. I’m blessed there was no “intimate” talk. I’d have been outta there!
jackstowe — You are so right. If it were only easy, huh?
brooke — I knew I could count on you!
August 20th, 2008 at 10:25 am
That reminds me of the Monty Python sketch where all the old guys compete about who had the worst childhood – “well, WE were really poor, we lived in a shoebox at the side of the road” “oh, you were lucky!” etc.
Lidian’s last blog post..Kathy’s Excellent Artex Adventure
August 21st, 2008 at 4:37 am
Lidian — Yes, it does! And their “skit” just went on and on and on. I’m sure I missed the part about all the surgeries they’ve had.
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I’m not at all scared of death. That may be because of my personal beliefs but I see death as just going to sleep and waking up in another place and eventually your loved ones will be with you again.
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Prostate Treatment Info — It’s my wish to pass peacefully in my sleep. Everyone should be so lucky, right? No aches and pains. Just deep, deep rest you never wake up from.
October 6th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
OMG, I am almost 40 now and it feels like that is getting closer and closer. I am scared of getting old and ending up like that too. I think we forget on a daily basis as we abuse ourselves that some day we will have to pay for all the abuse and or we will just get old and wear out. That happened to my grandma, she just wore out and died at 100.
October 7th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Deb – Don’t worry. You’re in good company. Although it sounds like you have amazing genes in your family. Wow. 100!
November 4th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Ha ha ha, great story. It always ends up being a “topper” between two men.
February 8th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
I’m quite looking forward to getting old. Imagine if you had dementia. What a trip that would be. You could have sex for the 1st time, every day (lol).