Overheard in an Elevator
Stupid things I do, embarrassing March 11th, 2009
Woman #1: What is with this thing?! Why aren’t we moving?!
Woman #2: Because you keep pressing the square with the Braille dots on it. That’s not a button.
Woman #1: Oh.
Any guess who Woman #1 was? Any guess how fast she ran from Woman #2 when the doors finally opened? You just do not know how hard it is being me some days.
Be happy and grateful. For when you think you have done an unimaginably stupid thing in public, say it loud and say it proud: At. Least. I. Am. Not. Kathy.
Stumble it!
March 11th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
First!
Ha! I AM you… I even named my post just now nearly the same thing as you!!!
Gad. We should never meet IRL….
Sooo… you got chosen, didn’t ya?
Maureen’s last blog post..Overheard
March 11th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
It’s not just you–some of those buttons are really confusing! The elevator in my dermatologist’s building has non-buttons. You can hardly tell where they are on the wall, and they don’t light up or give any other feedback once you’ve pressed them. Combine my inability to find the elevator button with my tendency to get lost trying to find the bathroom on the way out, and I look like a total dork every time I go there.
absepa’s last blog post..How to Not Be A Jerk on the Elevator
March 11th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Sounds more like a bad elevator panel design to me, I’ve seen those before. Same as not knowing what button to push to flush a toilet on some airplanes. I feel mad at those times, not stupid
March 11th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Yeah, but thank God for us you ARE you!
Jeff’s last blog post..Minnesota Fashion Statement
March 11th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
At least you don’t enter an elevator that happens to be full of people in a huge hurry, in a building with many many floors and a child who likes to push buttons. This is why I don’t take my children with me anymore.
Even worse was when the same child stopped the baggage carousel after waiting in line for customs at 2am. It was just one button, taped off like it was something special. Of course he’s going to push it.
Jen’s last blog post..Humor Bloggers Rock
March 11th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
Excuse me while I laugh.
Okay, seriously, I do strange things, usually tho, it’s jumping up and down in the elevator and saying “ele-lator go down the hoooo-le”.
I get caught doing this to my child more then not, who knows one day I am going to make the cable snap and kill us all.
March 11th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Ha ha! Oh of course it was you. Who else would it be? That’s what makes you Kathy! I’m chuckling so much
babs – beetle’s last blog post..Memories, or lack of
March 11th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
I can already beat that. At. Least. I. Don’t. Still. Have. To. Apologize. For. My. Idiot. Ex-Husband. Any. More.
Yes, being you is outranked by being married to him.
Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..WWW: Keepin’ It Short
March 11th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Well, on my trip to Florida recently, I was all proud of myself manuevering around the airport to find my friend who flew in on another flight. I’m all cool like, pull my suitcase into a crowded elevator and asked the lady standing near the buttons to hit “2″. The WHOLE freaking elevator stares at me and in unison say “YOU’RE ON TWO”. Um, okay……how about 3?! I wasn’t so proud of me anymore after that.
Lin’s last blog post..Wednesday’s Slack Post
March 11th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Are you going to submit this post as reason for not being able to do jury duty? After all, if you can’t figure out which is a button and which isn’t, how can you figure out if someone is guilty or not? It’s worth a try…
Preston’s last blog post..My SITS Spring Fling Contest – Disneymania!
March 11th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Hey Kathy,
~ Steve, the trade show guru
So if this happened at the courthouse, and woman #2 was the judge, I’m assuming that you were dismissed, which would be a good thing, and we’d all be wishing we were as smart as Kathy.
PS. Did you get out of jury duty?
Trade Show Guru’s last blog post..Green Trade Show Displays
March 11th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Thanks for admitting it. I feel better now.
The Mother’s last blog post..Mothers of Older Children
March 11th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Oh my. ROTFL. That is so funny. And so like ME! We are a pair made in Dingbat Heaven. But maybe we shouldn’t go anywhere together without an official escort. Who has a map. LOL.
Wendy’s last blog post..Ow-Ow-Ow That’s My Eyeball
March 11th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Oh my goodness, thanks so much. I was in desperate need of a good chuckle.
amber’s last blog post..
March 11th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
You should have thanked woman #2 profusely and added that you had read the braille, but it didn’t say push the button to the left (or right) and thank goodness she said something or you’d still be pressing the braille. Then when you reached your floor ask her to please direct you to your destination. Lol!
Lola’s last blog post..This And That
March 12th, 2009 at 1:02 am
wouldnt blame woman#1 for not knowing what that button was! there should be some words accompanying the buttons
Nairobian Perspective’s last blog post..Nairobi University Students Protest Gangland Style Killing of Activists
March 12th, 2009 at 3:23 am
Sometimes I’ll be chatting with someone in the elevator and miss my floor and go all the way down and then have to go back up. Our company is split between 7 floors so often I know people that get on from other floors as well. Wonder what that Braille button’s for?
Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry”’s last blog post..Do I Look Like A Bum?
March 12th, 2009 at 5:04 am
Maureen — Yeah, if we tried to go anywhere together, no chance we’d make it. Loved your latest post! Hilarious!
absepa — Yes! This elevator was in an older building and the buttons are not illuminated. In fact, they’re not even square like newer ones. Stupid elevator! And then there’s the “which floor do I want? Lower level or first floor?”
Pepper — Ooo, I love your avatar. So cute! And thanks for making me feel better.
Jeff — Honestly, I’m good for material through 2020.
Jen — Well, if a child wanted to press all the buttons, I say “have at it.” At least I’m not the one everybody’s leering at. Kids and buttons. A match made in heaven.
SewDucky — OMG. I’m imagining that. Gotta try that some time. Alone. Of course, there’s the cable snap thing. Yeah. Maybe not.
Babs Beetle — Glad you liked it. You know you can always count on me for revealing my stupidity here. I’ve had that category on the blog since its inception.
Stephanie Barr — Oh, no. I know some women who’ve walked in your shoes and are happy, too, to not have to spend their days apologizing for their other halves.
Lin — Oh, no!! That’s soooo something I would do. I feel your pain and you have my sympathies.
Preston — It’s kinda scary to think they might want someone who does something like this.
Trade Show Guru Steve — Now there’s something I’ve never heard before… “smart as Kathy.”
The Mother — Then I’ve done my job!
Wendy — Oh, my dear. A map won’t help. Can you read a map, cuz I sure as hell can’t. We’re in deep doo-doo.
amber — I’m glad you got a chuckle out of it. Actually, I did too a day later thinking about it. {conks head} D’oh!
Lola — Now that assumes I can think on my feet, which I can’t. I prefer to just run away very fast.
Nairobian Perspective — Yes! And they should be lit up like neon with the words “Press this” emblazoned on them!
Karen — I hate when I do that, although I can easily say “I meant to do that” and keep on talking. What’s weird is that braille is also on the floor number outside the elevator. I feel bad for the blind, who would likely not even know those plates are there, unless that’s a standard thing.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:33 am
Normally, at this point, I would share a story about something I did that was idiotically embarrassing. But after reading your story, I honestly cannot think of one, single thing.
Very funny. Did Woman #2 notice you blushing? lol
Steve’s last blog post..The Stupidity of a union
March 12th, 2009 at 7:33 am
Ha ha that sounds like the exact same thing i’d do!
Wiggy’s last blog post..Car is back on the road (Kind of)
March 12th, 2009 at 7:41 am
I relate…I truly do!:-)
Shinade’s last blog post..Me and My Friend
March 12th, 2009 at 8:04 am
You should have faked a tick and drooled on yourself. Then the other woman would have thought nothing of it.
John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer’s last blog post..My Play Date with President Obama
March 12th, 2009 at 9:02 am
You’re still acting crazy to get out of jury duty, aren’t you? Brilliant!
Lori’s last blog post..A Thousand Words Thursday
March 12th, 2009 at 9:38 am
That’s another funny. Some things just can’t be made up, can they?
Sherry at EX Marks the Spot’s last blog post..Have You Seen My Town?
March 12th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Awwww, that’s OK Kathy … I have to study escalators to (1) make up my mind which way they are going; and (2) decide if I want to go that way. It’s not instantaneous.
Jenny’s last blog post..Kiss Me Goodbye
March 12th, 2009 at 11:12 am
What should I say after they ask who Kathy is? hand out flashcards with your blog URL or something?
C.B.Jones’s last blog post..Chuck Norris is Walker, Texas President!
March 12th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Let’s not get into stupid things people do….I would have to write a book and bore everyone.
grannyann’s last blog post..How Old is Grandma?
March 12th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Ah, I actually can’t WAIT to meet you in May! I think it will be huge, huge fun.
Go easy on yourself, Kathy. You’ve got enough stress with the jury duty to worry about learning Braille, too.
Jenn Thorson’s last blog post..If Real Life Were Like Twitter
March 12th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
This is why I usually take the stairs……
Bruce’s last blog post..Dancing With the Dumped Bachelorette Gold-Digger
March 12th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
That’s like pushing the “close door” button when you’re trying to open the doors to let another passneger on! Reminds me of the question someone once posed: “Why do they have braille on the buttons of the drive-thru ATM machines?”
nonamedufus’s last blog post..The Impact of Steroids in Horse Racing
March 12th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
LOL! I get embarrassed when I’m in one of those elevators that opens on both sides because I’m always facing the wrong way when it opens.
But I don’t think I’ve ever pressed the braille non-button.
Angelika’s last blog post..Took Mommy Dearest out for her B.Day Lunch
March 12th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Hmmm…. I am guessing this person is Kathy? That would be the first person, though. I would be the one not knowing why the elevator is moving, too. Must be genetic.
Regan’s last blog post..Girl Scout Cookies
March 12th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
You just made me laugh out loud. Really loud. So funny!!! And that other woman. Oh what a riot.
BlueCastle’s last blog post..Let’s Have A Little Fun
March 12th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
With me it’s trying to decipher the symbols-only buttons for “Open Doors” and “Close Doors.” Invariably I pick the wrong one and slam someone’s head. Oh, well. At least I’m not Kathy.
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Have a New Foot so you don’t have to
March 12th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
oops. LOL
staciesmadness’s last blog post..I wanna love you all over.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Do what I do in elevators and press everything. You’ll get it right sooner or later!
Tiggy’s last blog post..The Dreaded Office Greetings Card
March 12th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Steve — I don’t doubt it. Oh, and here’s another gem for you. If you have time, browse the comments on that post. You can’t make that stuff up.
Wiggy — Awesome. Another member of the dunce club. We have to stick together.
Shinade — Thank you. I feel better.
John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer — I think I may have been drooling by that point in the day. That and a failure to blink.
Lori — Sadly, it wasn’t an act.
Sherry at EX Marks the Spot — I’ve come to the realization that I never have to dream up fiction for this blog. My life gives me ample material just the way it is.
Jenny — And why do they have to be on opposing sides in a store? Stupid escalators!
C.B. Jones — Yep, that’ll explain a lot.
grannyann — Nah, you wouldn’t bore anyone. You’d make them feel better about themselves. Consider it therapy. I do!
Jenn Thorson — OK, you must remember there is the possibility I will never make it there, despite a cell phone, a map and a GPS. You’re giving me way too much credit. I’m sure if I do get there, I’ll have at least six stories about how I screwed something up getting there. Ask me when I arrive.
Bruce — Ah, but what makes you think I can’t mess up steps, too? Tripping, falling, landing on a person. It’s got so many possibilities.
nonamedufus — I hate that! Under pressure, I never know which one is the open one. And you’re right about the weird places Braille appears. I once saw a sign on a blog where someone asked how it’d be possible for a blind person to make use of it. It was a sign hung over a doorway.
Angelika — We have an elevator like that in our building. First 3 floors open up to the right. Fourth floor to the left. Always screws people up.
Regan — And you would be right! Poor Regan. You have a lot to be worried about if this is genetic. I’ll comfort you in your times of need.
BlueCastle — I love how the other woman was so matter-of-fact about it. Bless her for not throwing a shoe at me.
JD at I Do Things — And so it goes. Dumb as a doorknob is still smarter than me. Once I watched a fellow elevator rider try to stop a door from shutting to let a late-comer on. The doors did not respond to his blocking the doors with his hand and so the car began riding from the first floor to the fourth with his hand still stuck in between. He screamed the whole way. It was torturous to watch. He’ll never do that again.
staciesmadness — Big oops. It’s what I do best.
Tiggy — Good idea. I’ll just slam my whole body against the console and we’re covered.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
At least when you press the right button, the elevator moves. Once when I started a new job, in the first week I got stuck on the elevator twice in the same day. The second time was after hours and the elevator technicians had to be called to get me out. There just happened to be a board meeting that night and somehow the executive director found out about it. She can to the elevator on the floor I was nearest and asked me if there was anything she could do for me. I asked if she could maybe order a pizza.
She did say later that she liked my spunk.
Mary Wehrle’s last blog post..My Improve From Ignite Columbus 2
March 13th, 2009 at 2:50 am
Hi! Anyone could have made that mistake and it’s not as bad as asking someone which one is the any key!
Peter McCartney’s last blog post..Friday the 13th
March 13th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Okay…read the post you linked…and now thought of one. Thought I might have mentioned it as a comment on another post of yours, but perhaps not:
Back when b/w TVs were still relatively common, and VCRs relatively new, our colour TV went on the fritz. My dad and I hooked the VCR to our black and white TV. Then we wondered if the VCR would record a TV show in colour or black and white. So we popped a tape in, hit record on some show, and waited a bit. Then rewound, hit play, and noted that the picture was black and white…of course, since it was playing on a black and white TV.
We realized our stupidity at about the same time, but I was a bit slow…my dad jumped up and called to my mother: “Dear, you won’t BELIEVE what your son just did.”. Sigh.
Steve’s last blog post..The Stupidity of a union
March 13th, 2009 at 8:39 am
If elevators did not have so many buttons this would not be a problem.
March 13th, 2009 at 9:53 am
LOL! dots what dots?
Linda’s last blog post..NASA – Turning the Tide to Energy
March 13th, 2009 at 10:04 am
You are a hoot Kathy. You really are.
Have a terrific day and weekend.
Comedy Plus’s last blog post..The Economy
March 13th, 2009 at 10:05 am
That’s awesome!
Well, I never did that, but I did get stuck in a revolving door at the Sears Tower. What does that have to do with elevators? They have one of the fastest ones in that building where you feel like you really feel the G’s.
TheSnackHound’s last blog post..The Pitter Patter of Little Condiment Trays
March 13th, 2009 at 11:45 am
At Least. I am not. My Stupid. Retarded. Ex-Wife.
Kathy. Thank You. For. Reminding me. About.
Stupid People.
Rick’s World’s last blog post..My "Honest Scrap" Award
March 13th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
That is something our Mom would do!! (reminds her to try it if she gets Jury Duty again!)
Sniffie and the Florida Furkids’s last blog post..Finally Friday!
March 13th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
haha!
(useless fact)
Depending on your brand of elevator pushing the “door close” and your floor number button (not the braille dots…) will bypass the other highlighted floors and take you straight to yours and open up.
It’s for emergencies and what not…but if I recalled the combo right, it’s also sweet for when you are in hurry
Thomas’s last blog post..For the love of Mike…
March 14th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Hey I once asked a Spanish translator to help me talk to someone I assumed was Spanish. Turns out he was Iranian. I was so embarrassed.
ettarose’s last blog post..What A Weak/ Week This Has Been
March 14th, 2009 at 8:51 am
There is a Braille button???
March 14th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Oh sheeet. Do you know how many times I’ve hit my own floors button that I live on when I wanted to go to the lobby level. What a dork right?
Lauren’s last blog post..My Followers
March 14th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Mary Wehrle — I would have died of embarrassment. I was stuck in an elevator only once myself (off hours, like you). Thank God for the emergency button. I wasn’t worried, just bored. The only thing I had to do in there until I was rescued was read accounting reports I’d just picked up. Didn’t help. Still bored.
Peter McCartney — Ah, the classic “any key!” What key is that again?
Steve — Oh, I remember that one like it was yesterday. The list of stuff people admitted to on that post was priceless. Thanks for sharing it again. It was a goodie!
shelly wagar — Which is why no one ever holds the door for anyone. By the time you’ve figured out the console searching for the open door button, we’re long gone.
Linda — If I was faster on my feet, I’d have told her “I meant to do that. I was just making sure the dots worked.”
Comedy Plus — Thanks! Hope you’re having a good weekend. I’m having a decidedly lazy one, which is why I’m so late commenting back here.
TheSnackHound — I’m terrified I’ll get crushed in revolving doors one day. Thankfully I don’t have much access to them. Hate a G force in an elevator. I prefer to think I’m not moving at all.
Rick’s World — And there ya go.
Sniffle and the Florida Furkids — Tell her she’s in good company.
Thomas — You know, I always thought that was an urban legend. Still not sure because different sources are conflicted on its veracity. One guy wrote to the Otis Elevator Co., and they wrote back that it’s not true. But many other people have said it works on certain models. I’m tempted to try it.
ettarose — See, that would happen to me all the time, which is why I hate making assumptions. They never turn out good for me.
Karen — Yep usually to the left of the button that actually makes you go up and down. I still do not know why I kept pressing it, except for exhaustion and stupidity.
Lauren — Oh, yeah. I have that technique down. Why aren’t we moving??
March 14th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
LOL – great little post. I tend to generally be the sharp one in the group, but when I do have my “moments of absolute brilliance” they tend to be absolutely epic. Like forgetting my own name when ordering pizza in college. With ten witnesses. Ten years later I still get made fun of for that one.
Elmer’s last blog post..Glue for Styrofoam
March 14th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Elmer — Oh! Oh! Another name-forgetter! I remember in high school, our bus broke down and by the time we finally got to school, we had to get pass slips from the principal for being so late to our first classes of the day. Asked for my name, I completely blanked. God, the stuff we remember, eh?
March 14th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Oh, that’s saa-weet! I feel better now about the stupid mistake I made at work a week ago Friday. It cost me $140 to fix it – and that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
WillThink4Wine’s last blog post..Heard the year after I was born
March 14th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Well this was clearly no fault of your own. It was the fault of stupid elevator engineers and planners. And I finally got a blog
I think I posted this last night, but I can’t find it so I’m gonna guess something happened or I was imagining it.
March 14th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Oh, dear. This could totally be me. *sigh* But I’m glad it was you this time.
Lisa (Jonny’s Mommy)’s last blog post..They eat what?
March 14th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
ah, I can do you one better. My stupid blind friend ALWAYS presses on the braille buttons and then curses.
marvelgoose’s last blog post..The Stem Cell Riots of 2016
March 15th, 2009 at 1:41 am
oh! i also have my share of stupid moments… i’m glad i have it. at least i have something to share
March 15th, 2009 at 2:54 am
Most people just run when they see me on the elevator… so I can’t say I can relate. Or, can I?
Dwacon’s last blog post..Dead Like Me: Life After Death
March 16th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
You are definitely Woman # 1! HA HA HA HA HA
meleah rebeccah’s last blog post..My Grandmother Manga
March 17th, 2009 at 5:26 am
WillThink4Wine — I can beat that. I once backed my car out of the garage before the door opened all the way. The door scratched the entire length of my trunk and I had to pay $500 to replace the whole thing. D’oh!
Abbey R — Thanks for making me feel better. And congrats on getting your blog up and running!
Lisa (Jonny’s Mommy) — Wait a while. Your turn could be next.
marvelgoose — LMAO.
aimee — Me too. Otherwise, what else would I talk about?
Dwacon — Yes, anyone who knows me says “I’ll take the steps.”
melean rebeccah — You make a safe assumption. It’s always me.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
I know how you feel about wanting to get out of there fast. That’s how I feel when I do something silly while driving, and then I end up at a traffic light with the same people who saw me make my driving error. x_x
Little Scarf Girl’s last blog post..Stampede in the Theater
March 18th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
I did something very similar once at the gas pump. I kept hitting the yellow square next to the price, thinking that was the button. It wasn’t. The guy in the gas station finally came over the speakers at the pump and told me and everyone else who was listening that it wasn’t the button. I haven’t been back to that particular gas station since.
Staci’s last blog post..So My Vet Thinks I’m an Idiot
March 19th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
If eveyone counts the stupid things he/she does, I think the world is not enought
Cheer Up and keep up on the good work.
Hicham’s last blog post..InSight
March 20th, 2009 at 12:39 am
Your point is very clear. But most people are shy to tell stupid things they have done
Shanavas’s last blog post..Create a Blog at a Mouse Click
March 20th, 2009 at 5:13 am
Little Scarf Girl — Hate that! I always pretend I’m looking for something in my purse then.
Staci — LMAO. Sorry. That’s so something I would do. Yeah, we don’t need our mistakes broadcast to the entire place, thankyouverymuch.
Hicham — Yeah, but I think I have more mistakes than the average bear.
Shanavas — Not me, as evidenced by my entire blog.
March 24th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Found this today. Do your elevator buttons look like this?
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/fail-owned-numbering-fail.jpg?w=500&h=363
ROTFL
Wendy’s last blog post..Live & Let Die
March 28th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Wendy — Oh, fer crying out loud. Who the hell could figure that thing out? I would exit the car immediately if I saw that and take the steps instead.
April 11th, 2009 at 12:23 am
Well All Those things happen in life, But if happens then there are only 2 ways to not 2 feel shy in front of the same person in future
first one is completely ignore the situation and get out of there without giving any reaction and don’t even show in the future that you know the preson if you face him or her in the future
Well and second one is that you accept that you have bluffed yourself and laugh and make other laugh too so may be you can build a new relationship out of it (It can be a relation of a friend also)
So I think second one is quite good.
Mayuresh’s last blog post..Changing default settings for text boxes
October 24th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Yikes!
) It is better not to ride that elevator again! Or better be sure that next time you’ll be pressing those round buttons! 
October 24th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Mayuresh — Yeah, and the second reason you mention is why I have a blog. It makes a nice home for all my gaffs and laughs.
Bread Maker Matt — I can’t get into an elevator now without thinking about the Braille dots. It gives me a little chuckle every single time.