Does This Car Make Me Look Fat?
Stupid things I do April 15th, 2009
My husband Dave and I went car shopping today. He knew exactly what he wanted, picked it out, and we went for a test drive.
Even though it’s his car and I thought I couldn’t care less about it, he drew the following out of me when he was about to sign on the dotted line.
Dave: So you like the car, right?
Me: Yeah. Sorta.
Dave: Sorta?
Me: I don’t like the passenger seat.
Dave: How so?
Me: It makes me look fat.
Dave: Come again?
Me: It makes me look fat. I feel like a giant.
Dave: What in the hell are you talking about?
Me: The seat isn’t low enough and I feel like I’m sitting up too high. Higher than the driver’s seat.
Dave: The seats were adjusted the same.
Me: No they weren’t.
Dave (to the saleswoman): Do you believe this?
Saleswoman: Do you want me to bring another car around to test the seat?
Me: Um. Do you mind?
We wait a while until the exact same car in another color is driven around to the front of the dealership.
We walk outside and I get in the new and improved, make-me-look-skinnier car.
The seat is exactly the same as the other one, but somehow I don’t look as fat as I thought I looked before. I went back to the original car and, magically, it didn’t make me look fat.
So either my fat perception is off a little or, more likely, maybe I’m just insane.
Pity my husband. The guy’s got his hands full.
Stumble it!
April 15th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I pity him and I’m female. Bwahahahahahaha. This is rich, I mean really rich. Bwahahahahahaha.
Have a terrific day.
April 15th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I bet the sales person never heard that before! LOL
DrowseyMonkey’s last blog post..Unintentional Peep Show
April 15th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
We must be sisters separated at birth!
Lori@Not Always Charming’s last blog post..Happy Easter!
April 15th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Perhaps you suddenly felt like an outdated cellphone.
Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..For Aron: What Do You Do When Your Writing’s Not So Good
April 15th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Just curious… What were the different colors? This is so I can decide which car to get into if I ever have to choose…
Jeanie’s last blog post..Via Discovery Earth
April 15th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Was the the exact same car in another color black? Black can make you look at least 10 pounds thinner…
frogmama’s last blog post..You can laugh at my near-death experience if you want. I kind of did…after I coughed up the hairball
April 15th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Maybe if he had gotten a striped car that would have helped. Stripes, after all, are slimming
Chris’s last blog post.."Car Guy" is a Recessive Gene
April 15th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
That’s is completely hysterical… and I totally understand.
Colleen – a madison mom’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Oh, Hi!
April 15th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
yes, you’re insane…
storybeader’s last blog post..Almost Wordless Wednesday – darklingwoods
April 15th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Getting a new car should never be easy for a man because it is not easy for us women. So if you need to try out all the seats in all the cars on the lot you are entitled! LoL
The Mind of a Mom’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday ~ Even he goes for the ears first
April 15th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Dave is so sweet – he’s making sure he gets to share his car with his wife.
You? You are just being Kathy.
Jaffer’s last blog post..These guys will take you out to lunch
April 15th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
You let your husband BUY things?
I don’t trust mine with the checkbook. Thousands of years of evolutionary pressure to be the guy bringing home the biggest game means they generally make poor economic choices.
How else do you explain monster trucks?
The Mother’s last blog post..Hugs
April 15th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
I am still trying to work out how the seat being high can make you look fatter. If that’s the case would sitting on the floor make you look really skinny?
Insane’s a good word.
babs – beetle’s last blog post..Going back in Time. Final part – Love is
April 15th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
That is too funny!
April 15th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
I’m with Babs. When I drive the car I feel fat. When I drive the truck, where the seat is way high, I feel much skinnier. My thighs look thinner in the truck. Maybe it is the color. My truck is maroon and the car was dark blue.
Jen’s last blog post..Matchmaking Update
April 16th, 2009 at 12:19 am
I thought this was just creative writing? It really happened? hehe, poor Dave. He MUST be a Saint.
@ The Mother – Us guys who would never be caught dead in a monster truck think we know why some guys need them…. and it has nothing to do with bringing home big game.
Will’s last blog post..Genetically Modified Virus To Kill Bacteria
April 16th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Well this confirms my lifelong insistence that women are truly insane. I thank you for this
April 16th, 2009 at 1:16 am
You crack me up with this!
Linda’s last blog post..Michigan – Working the Green
April 16th, 2009 at 4:36 am
Comedy Plus — You should. He knew all this about me and married me anyway. Poor guy.
DrowseyMonkey — She didn’t miss a beat either. I’m sure she and her associates talked about me afterward. I know I would have. I mean, really.
Lori at Not Always Charming — Oh, so it’s not just me?!
Stephanie Barr — Yeah, chunky and clunky.
Jeanie — The car he bought was blue. The second car I tried on was red. Interior on both was black. Does that help?
frogmama — No, it was red, but you’re right. I think my problem was that I’m used to practically sitting on the floor in his old car. Too much change too fast?
Chris — Stripes and black. We’re onto something here.
Colleen – a madison mom — See? It’s not just me!
storybeader — I won’t argue that.
The Mind of a Mom — You should hear what happened when I bought my own new car. It was probably worse than this on the insanity scale. Maybe I’ll write about it later. I’m sure the salespeople at Honda still have my face on the wall with a warning printed underneath. I made kind of an unreasonable fuss about color.
Jaffer — He is, and he even tried to calculate how long I’ll actually be a passenger in his car over the long haul. It’s not really very much anyway. He deserved to get the car he wanted.
The Mother — I have to hand it to him. There was really no reason I needed to go with him. I knew what he was going to buy. He just wanted my opinion. I’m not sure he’s glad he brought me along now.
Babs Beetle — Because my legs are thicker than my middle. And the seat part seemed to tilt up too much and couldn’t be lowered in that way. Does that explain things or only make it worse? You’re better off not trying to figure me out. Don’t hurt your brain.
Renee — Now it is. Then? Not so much.
Jen — It must be like when you wear larger clothing. I always feel thinner when something’s hanging on me. You may be onto something. The “skinnier” car was red. He bought blue.
Will — Oh, yes. I give him something to question my sanity every single day. He’s the most patient, understanding man I know. And for that he’ll be canonized, I’m sure.
j. — I really can’t argue that, at least with me. If you read some of my other posts, it’ll seal the deal.
Linda — You and the saleswoman. I’m pretty sure she was stifling laughter every time she turned away from me.
April 16th, 2009 at 5:02 am
How funny you are. I bet that’s one of the things that Dave was drawn to about you in the first place. This is hilarious! I think the car itself looks sort of fat but I never feel like the car makes me look fat or skinny. Hope you enjoy your new car!
Karen, author of “my Funny Dad, Harry”’s last blog post..Harry’s Top 6 Favorite Foods & 6 Least Favorite Foods
April 16th, 2009 at 6:16 am
I’m sure the salelady had a funny story to tell to her friends and family. “This guy came in with his wife, and she wanted to test drive the car again because she thought it made her look fat! What a nut!”
But it’s okay. I would totally do the same thing.
Regan’s last blog post..Girl Scout Cookies
April 16th, 2009 at 7:35 am
Its okay. My car just makes me look poor. And given the bumperstickers, sort of Liberal. I can look fat all on my own.
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Surviving the New Economy
April 16th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Har! Oh, Kathy… you’re lucky he doesn’t stuff you into the back seat.
Did you test those seats too????
Maureen’s last blog post..It Shouldn’t Be This Difficult
April 16th, 2009 at 8:09 am
A smart man never comments on whether something makes a woman look fat. We also never utter the words “I love your big beautiful butt” to their significant other.
That never ends well.
Chris Casey’s last blog post..Of Chainsaws and such
April 16th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Kathy, if you like everything about that car except the passenger seat, why not just buy an aftermarket seat. You know, they get rid of some of those front passenger seats out of Towne Cars they make into limos. You will feel like Edith Ann.
TheSnackHound’s last blog post..LOLFridge
April 16th, 2009 at 8:31 am
This one’s easy. The car makes your husband look skinny. When you sat in it with him you thought you looked fat but when you sat in it alone you felt normal. The new problem is you can never let your husband drive this car alone since the babes will be checking him out. And you can never ride with him since you’ll feel fat. Did you keep the receipt?
Douglas’s last blog post..Phive Phun Photo Captions – Obama Easter
April 16th, 2009 at 8:38 am
If it makes you feel better, Kathy, I feel like one of the early fills-up-a-couple-of-rooms computers vs. the smaller (and more powerful) handheld computers of today.
My car’s red, by the way, and doesn’t make me feel fat(except when I was pregnant and could squeeze in with that belly). Maybe it should.
Apparently, red makes one feel slimmed.
Stephanie’s last blog post..For Patricia: How Do I Get Grandparents?
April 16th, 2009 at 8:54 am
I like to recline the passenger seat of my husband’s car to the point of almost lying prone. I don’t know how this makes me look, but it certainly makes my fat feel more comfortable.
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Find It Kinda Funny, I Find It Kinda Sad so you don’t have to
April 16th, 2009 at 8:58 am
Uh, I go through the exact same thing when shopping for cars with my wife. Scary!
The Hawg!’s last blog post..The Man gives The Hawg a speeding ticket
April 16th, 2009 at 10:39 am
i am looking for a new (to me) car as well. i will keep fat seats in mind while shopping. i do understand, some car seats make me feel like my belly sticks out!
)
puglette
Puglette’s last blog post..Tax Day
April 16th, 2009 at 10:42 am
hey Kathy,
I think only a woman could think a car seat makes her look fat.
But in this case, if you were sitting up higher, wouldn’t that make you look taller, and doesn’t looking taller have a “slimming effect”? Or am I thinking like a man?
~ Steve, the all-man trade show guru
steve, trade show guru’s last blog post..Trade Show Booth Staffing Secrets
April 16th, 2009 at 10:43 am
This is a real problem. It’s happened to me. I actually stopped dating people who drove cars that made me look fat. Life is too short.
Amy Jo’s last blog post..Week No. 14, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Buddha
April 16th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Wanna know what “looks fat?” My arse on my bicycle seat. It looks like I’m performing some medieval torture upon myself.
I’m sure you look fine in the car – sorta like Grace Kelly riding along side Bogart in Casablanca….
April 16th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I cannot imagine anything making you look fat! Perhaps it was the original color that tricked your eyes at first? Myself, I don’t have to worry about my car making me look fat. My flabby gut does THAT for me.
Preston’s last blog post..I’ve Turned My Dog Into a Cream Cheese Whore
April 16th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Seat higher I can see but “makes you look fat” – now that is outstanding!
grannyann’s last blog post..5 Free Time Wasting Sites
April 16th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Seriously?
Interesting…
Angelika’s last blog post..Vintage Angelika
April 16th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Second what the Wife: Shieldmaiden96: says since we have the same car. Most of the time, though, I walk so I look fat sans the mirror may make objects appear larger warnings you may see otherwise.
unfinishedrambler’s last blog post..WTF Wordless Wednesday #17: Niagara Edition
April 16th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Well, you did burn off some calories sitting at the desk filling out the paperwork and then there was the walk to the second car and back to the first car. And then all the worry about the looking fat thing. That must have burned off some more. So you just worried yourself thin!
Pricilla’s last blog post..I’m Baaaaaaack
April 16th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Interesting perceptual abilities you have. Odd but fun.
Grace’s last blog post..Time – choose wisely
April 16th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Some cars’ buttons make your fingers look fat too. I make sure I only buy a car with LARGE buttons. That way my fingers look normal.
Carl’s last blog post..I Should Become a Bra Designer
April 16th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Lol so what kinda car was it?
haha!
– Christopher
http://life-accordingtochristopher.blogspot.com/
Christopher’s last blog post..ENTRECARD IS DOWNRIGHT DIRTY!!!
April 16th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I am so with you on this but for one thing. I would have been asking if I made the car look fat. Hahahahaaha You are so funny.
ettarose’s last blog post..Anyone for Domino’s?
April 16th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I can just imagine the look on hubby’s face… my hubby, I mean, not yours… if I were to say such a thing LOL
April 16th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Take it from me, an SUV is your best bet. It’s the moo-moo of vehicles!
earthtoholly’s last blog post..SkyWatch Friday No. 40
April 16th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I happen to know a good psychiatrist.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Karen — I like to think so. If not, he needs his head examined. And thanks! We pick it up Saturday.
Regan — That’s because nutty is genetic.
Shieldmaiden96 — So can I, which is why I don’t need a car to remind me of that.
Maureen — You know, we did joke about that. He said I could ride in the back, then I said he could stuff me in the trunk.
Chris Casey — Which is why you’ve been married happily for how many years?
TheSnackHound — I spit coffee when I read your comment. Love Edith Ann! Hey, Dave did say he would go get me another seat somewhere if it meant that much to me. Gotta love that guy.
Douglas — Uh-oh. I think you might be right. See, he doesn’t have giant freak legs like me. Now I’m worried the first time we drive a distance together. Crap.
Stephanie — Seriously. I feel the same way. I want a smaller version of myself. You know, version 1.0. Maybe there’s something about red that’s magical? Oh, and I did wonder how any pregnant woman could fit in that seat. Well, she can fit, but the getting in and out part must be a real bitch.
JD at I Do Things — I did that once when I threw my back out. Very weird perspective. But at least I couldn’t see out the window to catch the looks of the other drivers. Prone fat is better than folded fat.
The Hawg! — Thank God it only happens every 7-8 years, eh?
Puglette — Fat seats and leg room are critical. Also, the fewer buttons, the better. I don’t want to have to take a class to figure out how to ride in my wheels. My friend drove a Prius the other day. Had to call the rental place to ask how to turn it off. Not kidding.
The All-man Trade Show Guru Steve — You are thinking like a man. Stop it.
Amy Jo — Amen, sister!
BabaBooey — OK, so here’s another tidbit. I did a walk for charity some years back. Both bikers and walkers. Afterward, I spoke to a cyclist and told him I could never ride on a little seat like that and he said “Yeah, but they make bigger ones to fit you.” Thanks. Jerk. Grace Kelly? Thanks, I’ll take it!
Preston — Oh, you’re so nice. I admit I do have a bizarre sense of how I look. It comes from years of knowing there’s a smaller self in me who wants to get out. I waste a lot of time on these things.
grannyann — Oh, I can twist around the most innocuous of things and insult myself. You truly have no idea.
Angelika — Seriously. I know. It’s bad.
unfinishedrambler — Re: the mirror, at least my husband has one strange car quirk. He hates the mirrors that are concave. Aren’t they all like that, honey? You know, for safety?
Pricilla — I only wish worrying did that for me. I’d be a rail.
Grace — Interesting? Yes. Odd? Yes. Certifiable? Probably.
Carl — Awesome. Just like with cell phones. They make me feel like I have gorilla fingers.
Christopher — Ford Fusion. I like it. ‘Cept for, you know, the seat.
ettarose — You’re either better off than me, or worse. Hmmmm….
flit — What? Don’t all wives talk like that. Who’s with me?
earthtoholly — I know! I feel like an ant in a friend’s giant beast of an SUV. Maybe I need to reconsider one of those.
Sami Life, Laughs & Lemmings — Um. Not one. I think I need a team.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Not insane…just Rationally Challenged.
Thanks, I needed something to smile about today.
Lee’s last blog post..Sunday Scenery
April 16th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
It sounds like you need chocolate, not a new car. Then again, chocolate might make you feel even fatter the next time you get in your husband’s car.
Staci’s last blog post..Quick! Someone Hand Me My Walker!
April 16th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
What a coincidence… the new car I wrote about today made me look dumb! We truly are two bloggers in a pod.
Jeff’s last blog post..Uh… I can’t find a good song on my radio?
April 16th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Hi I am Dave Kathy’s husband. Up till now I have refrained from commenting on Kathy’s blog I prefer to remain in the dark. But when a person is buying a car and is listening to the saleswoman who is trying to explain how the redundant audio controls on the steering wheel work, or how the cruise control operates, a thing that that if not used properly could cost you your life, I am not really interested in the demented thoughts of a mad woman who thinks a car seat can or cannot make you look fat. That is all I have to say.
April 16th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I find that throwing an unnecessary spoiler onto a car is a good way to detract from any additional car weight gain. I did that with my Jeep, really takes the attention away from the driver & passenger seats. Just look at the A-Team van. Spoiler. Do you think Mr. T looked fat? I didn’t think so.
Acorn King’s last blog post..SCIENTISTS AGREE. STRIPPERS GRAVITATE TOWARD VENUS.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
It is because of this that I love reading your blog! You make me feel “normal”.
Grandy’s last blog post..WTF Wednesday – HUH?
April 17th, 2009 at 8:03 am
You just gotta laugh …!
Viveca
Viveca’s last blog post..Coming to my senses today. All day.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:48 am
I don’t know what to say, Kathy. That might just have been a first for that car salesman, though.
Jenn Thorson’s last blog post..I’ve Been Working on the Hellmouth
April 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am
I look fat in my car — and it has nothing to do with the car!!
Sherry at EX Marks the Spot’s last blog post..A Tire, Taxes and Tea
April 17th, 2009 at 10:35 am
I imagine these days the car salesmen will play along with any questions a person has, just to sell a car..
Beth’s last blog post..Wrigley amd Me: A Hit at the Phoenix Tea Party
April 17th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I know exactly what you mean. There are those vehicles out there that just reveal way too much of its passengers. Makes me shudder, am I fat and am I safe?
MadMadMargo’s last blog post..Snakes Alive!!!
April 17th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
ROFLMAO, that is hilarious! I had never heard of a vehicle making a person look fat, and then “trying it on” in a different color, and it doesn’t add on any pounds. Priceless my dear, priceless! Rest assured, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at the idea of me saying that in a car dealership! I can just see the look on the salespersons face, priceless
Skye’s last blog post..The Birth of Yahoo
April 17th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Lee — I love the way you turned that around. I’m glad it gave you a chuckle.
Staci — Yeah. It will make me feel worse. I dove into a bag of Butterfinger easter eggs today and then had some No Pudge (it’s a lie) brownies. Tomorrow’s a new day. Gotta get back on the diet or I won’t fit in Dave’s car at all.
Jeff — We are. Now does that make you feel better or worse, knowing me?
Dear Husband Dave — Thank you for your first ever $0.02 left on my blog. I’m sorry no one noticed you chimed in. Now. About getting me a bigger seat….
Acorn King — I love everyone’s ideas about how to look skinnier in a car. Only I could come up with this problem.
Grandy — I do it as a service to you. You’re welcome.
Viveca — Or cry. Depending on whether you are the type who can fit in small seats.
Jenn Thorson — I know they must hear everything. It’s such a stressful process, and we told her so. And I’m sure she went right home and said to her other half “You won’t believe work today.”
Sherry at EX Marks the Spot — I was afraid you would say that. I rode in the back seat of an SUV today with two other people. Was I worried about looking fat compared to them? You bet.
Beth — No doubt about it. You should have seen what happened when I bought my car. I made them stand on their heads and cluck like a chicken to put me in the Honda I wanted.
MadMadMargo — Notice how cars have gotten so much smaller over the years? God, I remember my Dad’s Cadillac with the giant bench seats. I felt quite small in that. Of course, I was smaller at the time.
Skye — I guess I figured she hears all kinds of bizarre reasons for buying or not buying a certain car. I would love to hear all her stories. There’s gotta be someone worse than me out there, right?
April 17th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Fat is Fat ha ha ha and I do pity your Hubby… ha ha ha
April 17th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Kathy, that car makes you look curvalicious!
You inspired my most recent post.
; )
Ferd’s last blog post..Boyfriend School – The correct way to answer the question, “Does this make my butt look big?”
April 18th, 2009 at 2:14 am
That is the most creative way to turn down a deal! You gave me an idea, just brilliant.
I read all through it wanting to see what the reaction of the salesperson was… so bad it’s not there but that was really amazing! I mean, you slap someone right under his/her nose without him/her noticing you did it! ^^
Webbielady’s last blog post..How She Wish She Could Stay…
April 19th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Lilyruth — He accepts all forms of pity. It helps him to know he has your sympathies.
Ferd — Curvalicious! Awesome. It sounds so desirable, doesn’t it? And your post? How I wish I could be proud of my bootie. Not there yet.
Webbielady — Ha! But it turns out the saleswoman reacted later. When my husband went to pick up his car yesterday, they jumped on the internet and she read this post and laughed her head off!
April 20th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Wow, that is priceless. The car made you look fat? I thought that only happened with jeans and horizontal stripes… Priceless.
PA Car Club Guy’s last blog post..The Finest ’69 Camaro You’ve Ever Seen!
April 21st, 2009 at 12:26 pm
This is priceless. You’re husband should remember this for the next time he says something crazy, and you mock him. Mine would.
LaTonya’s last blog post..Top 10 Indicators You Are Considered "Older"
April 21st, 2009 at 6:38 pm
PA Car Club Guy — Then you should see me in it when I wear jeans and horizontal stripes. It’s criminal.
LaTonya — I totally will!
April 1st, 2010 at 7:22 am
I know this is an old post, but I was reading your ice cream one again since I don’t see anything new! It said I might like this one. Oh man, I can imagine what the salesman thought. If I was him I probably would have given you a test drive and left you guys at a gas station. Muhahaha
.-= Innovatively Simple´s last blog ..Things I’d Rather Do #1 =-.