Stuff My Husband Doesn’t Know About When I Mow the Lawn
Stupid things I do July 1st, 2009
I love to mow the lawn. It’s good exercise. But there’s one problem. I suck at it.
While my husband Dave is recovering from shoulder surgery, I’ve taken on the chore of mowing every weekend. He feels bad he can’t do it, but that’s not the reason he should feel bad.
He should feel bad for the mower itself and everything it touches.
Herewith are the things I’ve done to the mower or with the mower in the last year:
1. I took out part of a tree he planted in the front yard. I don’t know how. All I know is when I motored past it, an entire branch broke off and got stuck in the hole that keeps the pull string attached to the mower. I threw the branch to the ground and mowed over it a bunch of times –the equivalent of hiding the body.
2. The first time I mowed alone, I got too close to a curb and the mower tipped over into the street. I heard a horrible propeller-type banging. That’d be the blade striking concrete at 3,600 RPM. I didn’t turn off the mower for a really long time because — all together now — I’m an idiot!
3. Dave likes to remove the metal rainspout extensions that run parallel to the ground before mowing. You know, so the grass is cut evenly. Why move perfectly placed rainspouts when you can run right over them? That’s mowing the efficient Kathy way.
4. Those big gashes at the base of the mailbox post? Sorry.
5. Remember, honey, how nice the front yard used to look when I would take the time to make nice diagonal lines through the yard? I know it looks like a child hopped up on Jujubees mowed it now, but really, can’t the grass just be short? We’re not going for design points, are we?
6. If the azalea bush doesn’t blossom next year, well, let’s just say I was getting tired and I had to take it out on something.
I love mowing! It’s so easy my way.
Dave, you’re not reading today’s post, are you?
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July 1st, 2009 at 6:44 pm
This is exactly the reason why my wife does not mow our lawn.
Paul
Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com
PaulsHealthBlog.com’s last blog post..What’s Really in Those Pops?
July 1st, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I feel so close to you right now! I do not bag when I am supposed to bag (it’s good for the lawn not to!) I run right over big roots and I back it up whenever I feel like it. I like to mow, too, and why I do not do it the way my husband deems appropriate, it gets done! He is none the wiser on any of those things, although he’d bitch about it if he ever caught me in the act! Have you ever tried a reel mower (the Leave It To Beaver kind?) Now I know why all the Cleaver dudes were so skinny!
Ungirdled Passion’s last blog post..Family Vacation: A Chance For Parents To Be Dissed In Exotic, New Locales!
July 1st, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Sounds like the sort of things I’d do – If I ever mowed the lawn. Which I don’t, because Mo is better at it than I would be. Just a thought, but maybe that’s why your neighbour has been doing it for you. Maybe he’s frightened you’ll get a bit to close to his garden with the mower.
babs – beetle’s last blog post..No smoking!?!?
July 1st, 2009 at 7:09 pm
I did the lawn one time on the new riding mower…..that’s right ONE time!
I can’t top laughing at #2!! That’s something I would do!!
Sniffie and the Florida Furkids’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday with the Woofies
July 1st, 2009 at 7:41 pm
I had to mow the lawn when hubs was away on cruise (the Navy kind, not the fun kind). The lawn was so tiny, I felt like an idiot paying someone to do it, so I sucked it up and did it. But I was too scared of the gas mower (I swear, I’m not normally that much of a weenie!) and bought an electric mower. And that’s still what we use to this day – with a big ol’ extension cord. I wish I could give you some great reason about it being more eco-friendly, but then I would be lying.
Jen@HappilyEverAfterLand’s last blog post..Be Thankful This Thing Doesn’t Have Smellivision
July 1st, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Kathy if my husband left me I would have to move into a city condo. I couldn’t possibly mow the lawn. I buy flowers and David plants them. That’s how I garden. The poor man probably didn’t know this when he married me.
July 1st, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Kathy, you are my hero!
Shadowsrider’s last blog post..When did I sign up for this?
July 1st, 2009 at 8:26 pm
At least you haven’t shot a rock through the front window . . . yet.
Chris’s last blog post..Who’s Bad?
July 1st, 2009 at 8:35 pm
It would take threat of nuclear winter to get me to mow the lawn (not when I have my checkbook!). If I WERE to mow for Lee, he’d better be happy for any job I do short of running over a child.
I think it’s cool you’d do this.
Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..For Shakespeare: Why the Beef with Vegetarians?
July 1st, 2009 at 9:01 pm
I love it!!!! you are now accomplished enough to do a design on the lawn. Send pictures.
grannyann’s last blog post..Turkish Salad Recipe
July 1st, 2009 at 9:14 pm
You mow the way I paint. My kids and I painted a bathroom that’s no larger than a phone booth (remember those?) and we added some flair with a few spontaneous splashes on the ceiling. The difference between you and me is that I’m not employing anything that could be construed as a lethal weapon. Hope Dave recovers before you have to resort to Astroturf.
feefifoto’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Huh?
July 1st, 2009 at 9:45 pm
I hate mowing. I have allergies and I get all stuffed up and sneezy. My motto is if it grows in the yard and is in front of the mower, it was meant to be mowed! That’s why I pay someone to mow my lawn now. LOL
Preston’s last blog post..You’re Appreciated! Brown Eyed Gal Wins My One Year Anniversary Contest
July 1st, 2009 at 9:47 pm
It is just the opposite with me. When I use the weed whip to edge the lawn, I always seem to destroy my wife’s flowers. I figure if it’s in the way, that’s its problem:)
July 1st, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Bless you for trying! I gave up lawn mowing after the day my new self-propelled mower went over an embankment with me tumbling after it. How I didn’t cut and arm or leg off I don’t know!
DJ’s last blog post..Pale Pink Hibiscus
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:58 am
Is one of those sit-on mowers? At least you mow the lawn. Your hubby should be glad.
Mulled Vine’s last blog post..She
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:37 am
I might try out the mower when it’s my time of the month, sounds like a sweet way to whisper, “Approach me and you die”.
Bunny Boiler’s last blog post..Don’t Step On My Blue Suede Shoes
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:24 am
“I threw the branch to the ground and mowed over it a bunch of times” – Oh Kathy, you crack me up! That was a great way to start my morning.
Where I live, the HOA fees cover landscape maintenance. They have this crew of men with riding mowers and trimmers and hedge clippers and such and they go through the entire yard in about 2 minutes flat.
Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..The Remedy That Rescued Me
July 2nd, 2009 at 5:02 am
PaulsHealthBlog — So you have a nice lawn, then?
Ungirdled Passion — Bagging is the only thing I’ve done right, except for the one time I broke the rubber thing off the bottom of the mower and then mowed over it. We stopped bagging this year to save us grief and you’re right, it’s better for the lawn anyway. I’ve thought of using a mechanical mower, but quickly came to my senses. I’m a bad mower, but I’m not insane.
Babs Beetle — Funny about my neighbor. It didn’t occur to me that’s why he helps us occasionally. He has seen me mow before!
Sniffie and the Florida Furkids — Yeah, and #2 is the thing that’s going to get me banned from ever mowing again.
Jen at HappilyEverAfterLand — I’m less worried about the gas in the mower as I am about ramming the mower into that gas meter thing on the side of our house. I always think “I wonder if I hit this, will I blow the house up?” Does anyone know if that’s possible? Seriously. I love the idea of an electric mower, mainly because I bet it’s nice and quiet!
Document Scanning Services — Funny! I’m the same way, actually. While I’m enjoying mowing now, when I get older I won’t so much. It’s really a big job with a walking mower. The neighbors on either side of us have riding mowers for lawns smaller than ours. My back hurts just thinking about doing our yard.
Shadowsrider — I am woman! See me mow!
Chris — LMAO. Oh, boy. Don’t jinx me!!!
Stephanie Barr — And don’t think I don’t worry about somehow running over myself with the mower. Nevermind small children.
grannyann — I love doing the diagonal cut and I must say the yard looks amazing when I do it right. I do enjoy kicking back on my patio admiring my work when I’m done. My dream would be to mow a baseball field in crosscut fashion, on a riding mower of course. Does that make me weird? Don’t answer that.
feefifoto — Oh, I’m so impressed that you paint! I’ve never done that, and Dave won’t let me. I think even if we covered every square inch of our furniture, he knows I’d find a way to dump a can of paint on the couch and then we’d be furniture shopping again. Hmmm, Astroturf. Not a bad idea!
Preston — I feel bad for people with allergies. I do sometimes see people mowing with masks on their faces. They really ought to pay someone to do it. Last time I mowed, grass flew up all around me (and stuck). I looked like the Incredible Hulk by the time I was done.
tahtimbo — Ah, yes, but flowers grow back. Don’t they? Shouldn’t they?
DJ — Yikes! That’s very bad and you’re right to give it up. We have a steep hill at the end of our property and my wonderful neighbor does help me out with that, thank God. I hurt my own shoulder one year trying to do it by pulling the mower up and down the hill with one arm. Stupid! Stupid!
Mulled Vine — No. And I would KILL for a riding mower! I want one for my birthday.
Bunny Boiler — LMAO. I do love the feeling of mowing over everything and making the lawn look all nice nice. Although I’m praying I don’t mow over something living. A few weeks ago, I found a big pile of bird feathers scattered about. I swear to God, I didn’t kill a bird!
Daisy the Curly Cat — You’re lucky to have other peoples to mow for you. I bet it’s fun to watch them speed by your house on the big machines! I sometimes watch those guys do the area across the street from us where there are condos. I wish I could ride that fast on a mower!
July 2nd, 2009 at 5:04 am
Sounds like you’re doing a fine job! My motto is “Only a fool would turn down help.”
Mizmell’s last blog post..The Best Laid Plans
July 2nd, 2009 at 5:14 am
My Dad does my yard. During the summer when he’s up north visiting my sisters a friend does it for me. If need be, I would hire someone, as I would never ever give it a moments consideration. Just saying.
Barb – WillThink4Wine’s last blog post..first things first
July 2nd, 2009 at 6:16 am
I am so proud of you little sister! I once asked Don if we should buy a mower so that I could take care of the lawn. He said “No, we’ll keep the service”. I love my husband.
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:55 am
Fortunately Bryan had a chance to go over our lawn right before you came, because I had to cut it when he was in NC and it looked very much like I’d cut it in the dark, perhaps with a dim flashlight lashed to the handle of the mower.
Our yard is weird and I am a terrible landscaper. When he does it, it looks like a golf course.
Though he did have a couple of mishaps the day we bought our Toro. I won’t call him on them because I respect his grass skillz and because I don’t want to end up doing it myself.
Shieldmaiden1196’s last blog post..Sunday Silence
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:30 am
Hee-hee…”…hiding the body.” That’s hilarious! And I’m so glad that during #2, one of those blades didn’t snap off and disjoin you at the ankles! Yes, I always look at the bright side… (”During #2…” didn’t sound right, did it?)
earthtoholly’s last blog post..We Should’ve Named You Sandy
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:35 am
Kathy, your husband needs to buy you the lawnmower my hubby has..you hold the handle and mow, if you run something over or fall off the curb just let go and it turns off automatically!! I will never mow, that would be my last day on earth, I would surely kill myself somehow!
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:39 am
I love to mow! It’s very relaxing, and I love seeing everything look all tidy when I’m finished. I haven’t gotten the opportunity to mow this year, because the husband is afraid that it will mess up my already messed-up shoulder. I think that is just an excuse though, since he says that I “make weird patterns” and “seem to have no rhyme or reason” to my mowing.
absepa’s last blog post..And now…the long-awaited product review!
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:38 am
This would probably be me mowing the lawn, but I would probably accidently run over my foot or something or the lawn mower would jump out of my hands and start mowing by itself and just run everything over. Can lawn mowers even do that?
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
hi Kathy,
You sound (and think) just like a kid (i.e. the tree branch).
If you can make the evidence disappear, the event never happened.
Remind me not to let you mow my yard!
~ Steve, the perfect-lawn (not) trade show guru
steve, trade show guru’s last blog post..Does Blogging Regularity Matter?
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:07 am
It seems you do a better job than the guy we used to PAY to mow our lawn, so what’s the problem?
Grace’s last blog post..Whew – the house is finally back to normal
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:42 pm
It must be so comforting to your husband who must have come to the euphoric realization that you really, really need him.
P.S. I can’t believe I missed this week’s What’s That!! Gah!!! And I would have won, too!! I mean, WHO WOULDN’T have guessed it was an owl pellet!!! Sheesh, Kathy… gettin’ soft, I tell ya. Um, you, not the pellet.
Crabby Blogging Lady’s last blog post..July 4th: About Everything But Independence!
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:17 pm
So this is why Hubby won’t let me mow the lawn. Go figure. I would have run over all that stuff too. Have big machine? Will run over. That’s my motto.
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
If you’re hacking up downspouts and the mailbox post it sounds like Dave may be in the market for a new mower soon. (Or at least a trip to the repair shop for a new blade.)
We got a new shiny red lawn tractor the beginning of spring. Now Anastasia and I fight over who does the lawn! Lol! The thing even has a cup holder on it! Most of the time we split and 1 does the front and the other does the back, but not if I get to the mower first!
Lola’s last blog post..google reader/friend connect isn’t working
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
There are MANY reasons I don’t mow lawn. Actually, no one has ever wanted me to mow lawn — for good reasons!
Sherry at EX Marks the Spot’s last blog post..Last Thursday My Husband Died
July 2nd, 2009 at 5:43 pm
OMG! I’ll bet the neighbors grab their kids and run in the house when you are out there mowing!! Criminy! You are DANGEROUS!! Is this the first time you’ve mowed??! Maybe you ought to get a service or something.
Lin’s last blog post..When I’m a Goner
July 2nd, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Mizmell — Yeah, maybe my husband is only pretending to feel bad. It’s easier to feign regret than mow the lawn. Hmmm.
Barb WillThink4Wine — You’re one lucky woman. I could do it for you, too. That is, if you don’t care if it looks like a bomb hit it when I’m done.
ann of the junkdrawerblogfamily — It’s a good thing because you don’t weigh enough to even use a mower, dear sister. I’m afraid you would be the one getting mowed if you tried.
Shieldmaiden116 — Funny! You are not a terrible landscaper. You have lambs ears and as far as I’m concerned, that makes you a master gardener. I read about his mishaps last night. He sent me the post to assure me I’m not the only moron.
earthtoholly — Oh, man. When I read your comment, I freaked a little. That thought had never occurred to me. I’m lookin’ at the bright side too now. I do like having ankles.
Jackie — Um. Uh. Are you ready for this? We DO have the kind of mower where it shuts off when you let go of the handle. I’m simply mortified to tell you that. When it fell off the curb, it never occurred to me to let go of it immediately. I just stood there freaking out, trying to get it back up on the grass. I accept a collective smack up side the head from all of you.
absepa — Oh, me too! I stand there, cross my arms and nod my head “That’s good work, Kathy. Good work!” Well do you “make weird patterns” and “seem to have no rhyme or reason?” I admitted it. You can too!
Regan — Thankfully, our mower can’t do that, but my advice is to not even try until someone makes you mow. Whatever you do, don’t let your mother mow. I’d fear for her more than I would you. Just sayin’.
Perfect-Lawn (Not) Trade Show Guru Steve — I AM A KID! You should have seen how pathetic I looked, holding the branch with a wee number of leaves left on it. Then I killed it dead.
Grace — Oh, God, I hope not. You need to hire a new guy. Or me.
Crabby Blogging Lady — Comforting? Maybe not. Annoyed I almost broke a new mower? More likely. Oh, just you wait for the next What’s That. You’ll be sorry you mocked me.
Lisa (Jonnysmommy) – That’s what big, gas-powered, scary blade things are for! As long as I don’t run over dried dog poop, I’m cool with it.
Lola — We had a chat today about #2. I shan’t be mowing too close to the curb anymore. That accident happened right after we bought it and there is no visible damage, so I got lucky. But still. If we had a riding mower, we’d fight over it too. I’m typing this on my back patio and my nice neighbor with a rider just came over to say he would do our yard along with his tonight. The dude is aces. Or, as Babs suggested, perhaps he’s worried I’ll try to do his the way I do mine.
Sherry at EX Marks the Spot — And I think I just gave you a half dozen more. Smart woman, you.
Lin — LMAO. No, they don’t, but maybe they should. There’s a stupid dog that runs loose through our neighborhood every few days. Now HE should worry. It’s not the first time I’ve mowed, and I think we can all agree that I’ve never learned (or cared) how to do it right.
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Hey Kathy, I am not allowed to touch the mower and I never did get snow-blower lessons! LoL
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:56 pm
I’m Episcopalian. We pay Mexicans to mow our lawns. Either that or we just let ivy cover the entire yard and say its because the trees kept causing bare patches.
Merrill Guice’s last blog post..Celebrity Deathwatch
July 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 am
Boy, I would love it if you would come and mow my lawn. It’s only 6′x 3′, but could use your “tender” approach…
Daniel Cox’s last blog post..Why Do I Have to Forgive?
July 3rd, 2009 at 6:37 am
You are crazy! You can even make cutting grass funny! Did you ever hear of edging? Grass trimmers? You’re so silly!
Karen, author of “my Funny Dad, Harry”’s last blog post..5 Things I Learned This Week of 2009–Part 26
July 3rd, 2009 at 8:58 am
I never mow the grass. One, because I DON’T WANT TO. Two, my husband likes the designs in the yard, and takes pride in his “Lawn.” And three, to keep my marriage. He’s so anal about his lawn, we might end up in divorce court over a jacked up YARD!
LaTonya’s last blog post..911 Heeeelp!
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:11 am
We have a riding lawn mower. Tuesday I had to sneak downstairs to get my teenage to pause his game to help me push the mower off of a weed patch that I tried to mow down (my husband trims this with a trimmer) before hubby figured it out. Said teenager was willing to help because he’s still feeling a tad guilty about raming the mower into a tree limb when the mover was only 3 days old.
July 3rd, 2009 at 10:28 am
“I threw the branch to the ground and mowed over it a bunch of times –the equivalent of hiding the body.”
ROTFL. I swear, we are dingbat soul sisters. This is similar to the “if I vacuum over it enough times it will finally go away” idea.
Wendy’s last blog post..The Butt Crack of Dawn Says Hello
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Hahahah this is why my brothers and my father do all the mowing around our house. THe one time I mowed I hit something…Very large and very stationary – our swing set..
July 3rd, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Kathy, this is your funniest post ever. This reminds me of the time Mrs C wanted to help me sand the hard wood floors. She wanted to use the big sander I rented.
Let’s just say it was a good thing I paid twelve bucks for the insurance in case I broke it.
So I take it none of your neighbors will be asking if you could mow THEIR lawn?
Chris Casey’s last blog post..Break time!
July 3rd, 2009 at 7:43 pm
The Mind of a Mom — Ah, a snow blower is a dream of mine. We keep saying we’ll get one. What damage could I possibly do with one? Don’t answer that.
Merrill Guice — Part of me wishes we lived in Arizona where they have stone yards. But I’d take ivy, too. BTW, our nice neighbor did almost our whole yard today. The man loves to mow.
Daniel Cox — My God, man! I could cut your yard with scissors!
Karen — Edging? What’s edging? You should see how long the grass got along the house before I took clippers to it. Swear to God, it was just like cutting hair.
LaTonya — Good for you! I suspect there are millions of wives out there who are thrilled to death their husbands are anal about their yards. Incidentally, Dave asked me today to please not mow over the rainspouts anymore. He said please, so OK.
Laura — Awesome! You and your son can have your little secret. And I’d do the same thing. Why use a weed whacker when you can just as easily sit on your butt and go to town?
Wendy — And I blame my husband for even giving me the idea. I’ve seen him mow over small branches countless times. I learned from The Master.
Abbey R — Ouch! So, you gonna fess up and tell us you did it on purpose. You did, right?
Chris — Can you imagine a sander in my hands? Can you imagine the new hole in the floor? And, no. Quite the opposite. My nice neighbor did our lawn today after doing his. The guys nuts for mowing. Fine by us!
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
When I was a kid, I used to like to mow the lawn. We had the old-fashioned thing with a barrel of metal blades. I didn’t like pulling the dandelions, though.
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Well at least you tried doing it while your husband can’t. I just think Dave’s way of mowing is better. Just Kidding!
July 3rd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Ha! You could start a show like “Home Improvement.”
Just promise me you’ll stay away from chain saws.
Ferd’s last blog post..Now She’s Really Angel Farrah
July 4th, 2009 at 1:57 am
Ooh lucky you, getting someone else to do it. Especially when you have a walk behind mower. I haven’t even taken mine out this year because my neighbor is nice enough to do our little row and a half from the ditch to the street. I don’t know how they do it with the riding mower, I’m always scared I’m going to tip it, so I just skip it. But the neighbor always does it when they do theirs. Even the wife braves that steep pitch. More power to them. I don’t want to be on the nightly news “careless homeowner topples lawn tractor and severs limb”. Nope, not me.
Hope you have a happy and safe 4th of July.
Please stop by Lin’s Duck and Wheel With String to vote for me in her First Official Dork-Off Contest. Vote for my photo, because my kindergarten photo is THE dorkiest.
http://duckandwheelwithstring.blogspot.com/2009/07/first-official-dork-off.html
Thanks!
Lola
http://lolasdiner.blogspot.com/2009/07/tgif-vgno-andgo-vote-for-me.html
Lola’s last blog post..TGIF VGNO! – And…Go Vote For Me!
July 4th, 2009 at 3:37 am
So. I’m definitely one of those pesky lurkers. Hi! I have something for you: http://www.baconsalt.com/
You may have already discovered this little gem. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Alise’s last blog post..Giddy. And a story based on real events.
July 4th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
wildflowers are pretty.
flit’s last blog post..Making Progress
July 5th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Gosh, we just have so much in common! I was banned from mowing the lawn way back. When I accidentally set the blade too low and we lived with a landing strip in the back yard for an entire summer. (How was I supposed to know???) And we just lived too dog gone close to the airport for that to ever happen again . . .
diver daisy’s last blog post..Neighbors Across the Street
July 5th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
No matter how many stupid things occur while you’re mowing, at least you CAN MOW. I’m too scairt. I’m afraid the thing will go crazy and start flying around the yard with me holding on for dear life. Or that my leg will get chopped off. Or that it will explode. Amazingly, I do drive a car.
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Have Brilliant Ideas so you don’t have to
July 5th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I just wish I had a lawn to mow, your poor Dave is gonna have a lot of repair work to do when he gets better huh!
Maybe you should think about gettin him a new mower for Xmas.
Trukindog’s last blog post..THE WEEKEND JAM #44 THE UNITED STATES NATIONAL ANTHEM – HAPPY 4th OF JULY
July 5th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I refuse to mow. It’s the very least hubby can do around here. I refuse to get on the riding mower that he uses for our large backyard.
Even though it DOES look like fun….
Maureen’s last blog post..A Funny Thing Happened…
July 5th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Our curbs are scarred from my wife’s mow-work too. And last year I was summoned to “listen to this” after she mowed the lawn, only to discover the blade was actually bent with a chunk missing out of it. I don’t even ask anymore.
Jeff’s last blog post..Mr. Know-It-All
July 5th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
We must be twins! LOL!
July 5th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
D.R. — Oh, I remember ours, too. Although I didn’t really use it much. I had brothers for the job. Would you believe I considered buying one and trying to do our yard with it? Would probably take me six hours, but I’m curious if it would do the job or not.
TASER C2 — It IS better! I got a little lecture yesterday about not mowing over the rain spouts. Darn it. It’s so much easier my way.
Ferd — Or Home Destruction for Women. Oh, no need to worry about chain saws. I can’t type as fast with only one arm.
Lola — Oh, man. You should see my other neighbor who takes his riding mower up on the hill and drives really fast on an angle. I’m forever worried he’s gonna tip it, but he doesn’t seem to fear that. I can’t want to see your dorky photo! OMG. I just saw it. Would you be mad if I said you win hands down?
Alise — Yes, I’m familiar with Bacon Salt. I wrote a review of it a while back. I wasn’t enamored with it. I wanted it to be so much better, but alas, it just tasted like BBQ sauce. But thanks for thinking of me!
flit — Yes, yes they are. Although they don’t stand a chance against me and my mower.
diver daisy — I just said to a friend today that I wished Dave hadn’t raised the blades the last time I cut. I prefer to shave the lawn so I don’t have to do it as often. Oddly enough, we live close to an airport too. So I guess I’d better be careful. They already look like they want to land in my yard. No sense in giving them an invitation.
JD at I Do Things — And let me just speak for everyone and say it’s a good thing you don’t mow. I just had a vision of you being dragged through your yard by your mower. It’s very funny, until the part where you lose a leg. It gets bloody then.
Trukindog — Well, he insists I stop mowing over the rain spouts so we don’t have to replace them. Oh, and incidentally, my father called me to scold me for doing the lawn the way I’m doing it. Geesh. This is when people usually say “Then do it yourself!”
Maureen — Yes! It does look like fun, doesn’t it? Don’t you want to try it just once? Come on, you’re a little curious aren’t you?
Jeff — Crap. So you’re saying I might actually have done some damage after all? Although we’ve flipped the mower over to carve out some grass clumps and Dave never suspected anything, so I might be out of the woods.
Nancy — So you’re saying your lawn looks like hell, too?
July 5th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
No, I’m not mad at all that you said I’d win hands down, cause I did!
Thank you for voting for me in the First Official Dork-Off at Lin’s Duck and Wheel With String.
http://duckandwheelwithstring.blogspot.com/
The votes are in and the winner has been announced. Thanks so much for your vote. Be sure to come back and check out Lin’s blog and my blogs.
Thanks again!
Lola
http://lolasdiner.blogspot.com
Lola’s last blog post..TGIF VGNO! – And…Go Vote For Me!
July 6th, 2009 at 7:32 am
The first time I mowed the lawn at our house, I fell off the curb and broke my ankle.
Momo Fali’s last blog post..Reasons I Love America
July 6th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Yeah, my husband doesn’t like me to cut our yard either. I only do it when I fear for the dogs safety – like when it’s up to their knees and since they are greyhounds, that’s pretty tall. That’s only happened a few times when hubby was out of town or working late hours though.
Patty’s last blog post..Scout’s A Storm Buster, Too!
July 6th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
You are quite welcome to come and cut my grass any time you like. I don’t give a rat’s ass what it looks like — my only goal is to avoid getting a nasty letter from the city (this has happened to me before).
I hate cutting grass, I hate doing yardwork of any kind, and I hate spending time outside in the sun in the summer. I’ve seriously considered astroturf, green carpet, or green cement. I could happily live in a house without a lawn. I am most definitely NOT a “yard Nazi”.
Libertine’s last blog post..Fourth Of July Celebrations Fizzle Out in Recent Years
July 6th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
The first time I mowed the lawn was very unforgettable moment. I tipped over the street and almost cut off my arm. That was so scary. My heart was so beating so fast that day. thanks to God I didn’t lost my arm.
July 6th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
I am CRACKING UP. Woman, you are too funny. I wish there were photos! Especially of this one:
“4. Those big gashes at the base of the mailbox post? Sorry.”
ahahhahahHAHHAHHAhaha
July 6th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Just imagine the amount of damage you could do on a riding lawn mower. Oh, sure, you wouldn’t get exercise the same way you do with a push mower. But just think of the destruction!
July 6th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
That is hilarious! Kudos to you for persevering!
I have mowed a lawn once in my life, and let’s just say, I never did it again, mainly cuz no one would let me! Not that I would have if I could have. That’s part of why I live in an apartment.
July 7th, 2009 at 4:47 am
Lola — I’m so happy you won! And really, I cannot get over your hair. You were a dork of the highest magnitude. God bless you for volunteering that picture!
Momo Fali — Oh, cripes. And it was the last time you mowed I guess. I’m glad I only hurt the mower when I fell off my curb. Counting my blessings.
Patty — I’d be afraid what would be lurking in the tall grass! It’s bad enough I have to dodge cat poops in the yard. Yes, one of my cats actually poops outside. She thinks she’s a dog.
Libertine — We got a nasty letter too, but not for the grass. We hadn’t shoveled a half inch of snow off our walk and someone called the township. $150 fine! So do you get your son to mow for you? It should be a kid’s job, don’t ya think?
horse saddles — I don’t even want to think about the poor people who actually do hurt themselves mowing. Especially riding mower roll-overs. Be careful out there people!
meleah rebeccah — Oh, I can’t show that picture. It looks like hell. We are admiring a neighbor’s new mailbox. I want one. It’s cement!
kev — If I had riding mower, I would be like my obsessive neighbor and do it twice a week. Not kidding. Do they put seat belts on those things?
Jane Doe — I think my husband would like me to stop persevering. He’s waiting for the go-ahead from his doctor that he can mow again. Right now, he just prays I don’t damage the house somehow.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
We have a riding lawnmower… I’d probably take out a small tree or lose a foot if I attempted to mow. Hubby is not allowed to have surgery.
DI
The Blue Ridge Gal
Di’s last blog post..Summer Doldrums
July 16th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Di — Yes, the most important thing to remember from this story is that if you have someone else doing your lawn normally, DO NOT LET THEM STOP.
July 31st, 2009 at 2:33 am
Its gives me an idea not to let my wife mow the lawn the next time I’m not at home because of business trips. No, I will never let her touch the lawn again.=)
September 1st, 2009 at 11:22 am
I weed wacked my neighbors lawn because he had a heart attack.
Unfortunately I weed wacked his gorwing apple trees.
Heart Attack #2