Objectum Sexuality
Bizarre October 14th, 2009
What in the wide, wide, world of sports is going on with some people?
Little tip here. You have to read the following very carefully. This is the opening to an actual article from a New Jersey paper, The Trentonian.
They courted for more than ten years before she finally popped the question.
Amy Wolfe had experienced a decade of ups and downs with her lover but wanted to move forward with her romance.
So, Wolfe, 33, a Pennsylvania church organist, will go ahead with her plans to marry an amusement ride at Knoebels Amusement Park in the Poconos.
Wolfe claims to have objectum sexuality, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects — in this case she’s head over heels for an 80-foot gondola ride called 1001 Nachts.
Read the whole article here. Really. You gotta read it. There’s another woman who had a tryst with the Berlin Wall, but whose “heart and soul belongs to the Eiffel Tower.”
So.
Yeah.
People are insane.
I have far too many questions about this woman, so I’ll just leave it at this: If you happened to lose your senses and wanted to marry an object, what would it be?
Me first.
If I divorce my husband for anything, it’s going to be my laptop. Me and my blog partner. Forever.
I, Kathy, take thee Dell laptop, to be my wedded object, to have and to type upon from this day forward, for better or for worse, for more blog subscribers or for loss of readers, in backup disaster or in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death or hardware failure. This is my solemn and ludicrous vow.
You next!
Stumble it!
October 14th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
If that were me, it would be my coffee cup.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
At the risk of sounding boring or copycattish – and I guess at this late hour of the day I’ll risk it, hey, I’m a risk-taker, look at me, ma! – I’ll have to go with my laptop, too. It’s the obvious choice since I spend so much time with it. We are very close, although honestly – I’m thinking of breaking up with it. It’s been almost 4 years, you know, and so little commitment. Things are moving just too slowly!
I have my eye on a very cute desktop. We met at Future Shop and I really think things might work out…
Lidian´s last blog ..Arnold Makes the Grade
October 14th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
I would marry the loptop but hey, my husband is ok with my laptop relationship the way it is. I guess I would have to marry my GPS. I would be literally lost without her.
Anne´s last blog ..It’s Dental Hygiene Week and Other Random Tuesday Thoughts
October 14th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Well, 1001 Nacht IS a pretty awesome ride. So she gets credit for that.
If I were to marry anything, it would have to be my iPod. Or you know, my cell phone. Or my laptop. Or the TV. Or one of my many, many TV show seasons.
So yeah. I’ll just move somewhere where you can have more than one partner, then marry as many inanimate objects as I want.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I’d have to go with my PC for the full functionality of it however I’d take my Blackberry because it can do all the same things, though it takes longer and it vibrates, which might rule out the OBJECTUM part.
Jen´s last blog ..Halloween is Coming
October 14th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
I’ve always found the Krispy Kreme doughnut machine kind of sexy.
Wendi´s last blog ..Writer’s Cramp
October 14th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
I’m pretty attached to several inanimate objects, but my current devotion is to the black boots I bought last winter. Over the summer, I forgot how much I loved them. Now, however, boot weather is back, and I can wear them all I want. I’ve loved many pairs of shoes in my life, but none so ardently as these boots.
absepa´s last blog ..So what is Eeyore, a werewolf?
October 14th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
If the hard drive crashes does that constitute divorce? Just wonderin’.
Rebecca´s last blog ..Drooling Cat? Ur Doin It Rite
October 14th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Okay, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but now that you’ve exposed the Objectum thang……I think I’m in love with the hanging lamps at my Starbucks. I know, I know, crazy, but there’s just something about them…(I just happened to have posted them today). Yeah, I ain’t right.
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earthtoholly´s last blog ..Autumn Leaves, Uh, Lamps
October 14th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
I’m afraid I may have an unnatural relationship with my laptop as well. I just can’t seem to leave it alone.
CatLadyLarew´s last blog .."To Moon or Not To Moon?" or "Grandma’s Getting a Keychain for Christmas"
October 14th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Allow me to offer a male perspective. My first wife divorced me due to her affliction with objectum sexuality. Yup – she was unnaturally attracted to my ATM card. I understand they got along great until the card stopped putting out.
October 14th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
You don’t want to have a tryst with a laptop… he’ll run out of memory and forget your anniversaries and birthdays, he’ll get a virus when you need his help the most, and worst of all, his mother with get bored and start processing you around. Then she’ll get too hot and have to run all the fans in the house. I’m telling you, it’s a bad idea.
Jeff´s last blog ..I must be the luckiest guy on the planet
October 14th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
That article is crazy! BUT I’ll play along…
I would have to marry my coffee maker, but continue my love affairs with my computer and my phone.
October 14th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
My camera. Mmmmnnnn. Yes. Definitely.
Bonehead, your post made me giggle. Good one.
Allegria´s last blog ..Day 36: Corner View–Love
October 14th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I’d never heard of this affliction until today. Interesting. Now let’s see….hmmmm….I guess I’d marry my computer. It’s useful, even necessary. Although I could say the same for the Ducane BBQ grill…..
MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Detroit, Compuware and My Disturbing Interview With Anti-Peter
October 14th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
How weird people are! Lets see. I’d marry my Mac and have a couple of long standing affairs. One with my camera and one with my guitar. Mo would say I’m already married to my Mac!
babs – beetle´s last blog ..We’ve been invaded again!
October 15th, 2009 at 12:42 am
Thank God Jerry Springer isn’t on anymore. It’d probably be kind of hard for Steve to control an amusement ride!!
Roschelle´s last blog ..Is Your Blog in The Channel Surfing Category
October 15th, 2009 at 1:24 am
I love your blog! I’ve been reading for a while, don’t get to comment much.
There are two objects that I would marry. They are my camera, and my car! I LOVE both of these things. My camera is just so beautiful. My car… well it’s reliable and fun. Maybe not so beautiful but I’m ok with that.
I have an award for you at my blog! It’s called the One Lovely Blog award and I wanted you to have it because I enjoy your blog so much. Stop by whenever you get a chance; no rush.
Thank you for sharing!
October 15th, 2009 at 4:23 am
I know someone with the object sexuality thing, and it’s just kind of sad and “Really?! I mean, really?!” Luckily, aside from her being almost too weird for me, she’s got a pretty good sense of humor about MY sense of humor about it.
That said, it would either be my sewing machine, Mike, since I already tell everyone I have a love affair with him anyway (since it’s a treadle I’ve wanted for 30 years) or books. I love books.
SewDucky´s last blog ..“How Much Fabric Giveaway”
October 15th, 2009 at 4:37 am
I am a little bit in love with my Cat Dancer. But I would not want to marry it. Just dance with it for a while.
Harley is in love with foods. He cannot marry it though because that would make him a cannibal.
ps: My button! My button! Wowie, thanks!
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..I am off the drugs!
October 15th, 2009 at 4:46 am
rattln along — You know, my coffee cup is usually with me when I’m on the laptop, so maybe I need to keep a cup “on the side.”
Lidian — Oh, no! You’re breaking up? I’m sorry. Maybe you can see if one of your friends needs a hand-me-down when you upgrade to a better man..er, laptop. Does the desktop know you’re smitten with it?
Anne — I’m realizing now that I would want to marry my GPS, too. But I want to keep my laptop, so I’m going to have to hide their existence from each other. Should be easy to do. I keep my GPS in my glove compartment. They never have to know about each other.
Regan — Awesome ride, but I wonder how this woman feels when other people are riding her? Hmmmmm? So basically you’re going to be running around with a lot of electronics, eh? Just make sure they don’t find out about each other.
Jen — LMAO. I re-read your comment three times and it’s as hilarious as the first. On so many levels.
Wendi — And who wouldn’t? And I’m guessing it wouldn’t mind if you put on a few pounds during the marriage.
absepa — And they won’t mind getting walked all over. That’s love.
Rebecca — Yes, it ends the marriage. Based on how long laptops last, I’m guessing I’ll be married at least five more times.
earthtoholly — Well, I saw ‘em and they are quite good-looking. And as long as they always have bulbs, they will light up your life.
CatLadyLarew — I spend a very long time with mine each day. It’s unhealthy, actually. But no one can say we weren’t meant to be together.
Bonehead — Hilarious! This comment gets a gold star.
Jeff — See, now you’ve ruined it for me. We are still in the honeymoon stage and now you’ve gone and spoiled my afterglow. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Heather — You must never let them know about each other. Especially when you use the phone. It might smell coffee on your breath and then you’re in big trouble.
Allegria — I don’t know where I’d be without my camera either. Oh, the choices! Reading all these comments, we’re all pretty attached to our electronics, aren’t we? Where would we all be without electricity and batteries?
Mike WJ at TooManyMornings — Oooo! Now a grill is interesting! Are you one of those people who grills all year ’round, even in the winter? I wish you a long and sizzly relationship.
Babs Beetle — Weird indeed! I bet a Mac would look smashing on its wedding day. They really are gorgeous machines, yes?
Roschelle — Seriously. This is exactly the sort of thing Springer would enjoy talking about. But I can’t imagine there are many people afflicted with this. It almost sounds made up.
Picture Im perfect — Thank you so much! I’m glad to have you as a regular reader and I appreciate the award. See, that’s the thing. We want someone … er, someTHING, that’s both fun and reliable. The car and camera don’t have to know about each other, do they?
SewDucky — Are you serious? Oh my, that’s gotta be hard to understand. So. You named your sewing machine Mike? That’s awesome. It (he) sounds like the love of your life. Happy sewing!
Daisy the Curly Cat — Well, I always knew you were a free spirit and couldn’t settle down. And I believe that Harley is madly in love with his food. I’ve seen him tear into it on your videos (which, as you know, I miss dearly). And I’m happy to have your cute little face on my blog all the time. I want everyone who comes here to meet you. Hope you get lots of clicks!
October 15th, 2009 at 5:10 am
Okay, the only other object I’m marryin’ is my Converse low tops. But.
There’s a huge but necessary.
I’m gonna have to be a polygamist. I cannot choose which design I will spend the rest of my life with. They’ll all get attention.
I’ll provide a nice living environment for them and they’ll all become friends once they get over the jealousy.
Trust me, I know this will work. I’ll even let them call me Sister Chuck.
cardiogirl´s last blog ..You can look, but you cannot touch the ponytail
October 15th, 2009 at 6:41 am
My dishwasher. That or the garbage truck.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:25 am
On the plus side, if the relationship ever loses steam, you could just upgrade.
Mark´s last blog ..Ask General Kang: How much time should I be spending on Social Media every day?
October 15th, 2009 at 7:55 am
My heart belongs to the Ferris wheel, but I married my book collection years ago.
wngl´s last blog ..Childhood
October 15th, 2009 at 7:56 am
People are nuts. You crack me up, Kathy, about your laptop. I’d have to say it would be my PC.
Daisy, you are so funny! Loved your comment about Harley on here! LOL!
Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry”´s last blog ..A Letter To Mom Because I Can’t Write Poems (Writer’s Workshop)
October 15th, 2009 at 8:20 am
How could I settle for one? I think objectum love should be free love!
Tracy´s last blog ..I have ONE Google Wave invite nomination left
October 15th, 2009 at 9:15 am
I would never marry an amusement park ride. I mean, could you take the vow of fidelity seriously? Soon as the season opens, up, everyone’s riding your lover.
Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..Sunday Soapbox Called On Account of Flu
October 15th, 2009 at 9:52 am
lmao, my bed. I’d marry my bed and sleep with it everynight, make it every morning…think about it all day long…
staciesmadness´s last blog ..Fit of giggles.
October 15th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Vote YES on Proposition 9: Objectum Sex Marriage! I can see this one coming down the turnpike.
MadMadMargo´s last blog ..Kool-Aid, It Ain’t Ghetto
October 15th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Does my right hand count?
Because I’ve been having an illicit affair with it twice a day for, like, YEARS.
moooooog35´s last blog ..Objects in the Rear View Mirror may be my Bare Ass
October 15th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Intersting question you havve here, hmm.. maybe I’ll marry my laptop and my ipod touch and my camera..Through sickness and in health. haha!
Oscar´s last blog ..Fake Designer Handbags – People Love To Buy These
October 15th, 2009 at 10:20 am
My Mac PowerBook Pro and the Chrysler Building. Got nothing funny to say about them tho. One for it’s brains, the other for it’s beauty.
Grace´s last blog ..My hate-affair with hair
October 15th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Um… been there, done that and put the tee-shirt in the yard sale about 15 years ago. I doubt I’d ever marry again.
However, I do heart my red wine!
PS. The post title “Objectum Sexuality” initially made me think this was somehow going to be a post about Harry Potter and friends coming into their own.
Barb – WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..Hairdate 2002 – or “A very SisterDear Christmas”
October 15th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Agree. Likely my Mac laptop. but might need to have an fling, or polygamous relationship, with my tea mug.
Dr. Grumpy´s last blog ..From Hawaii, With Love
October 15th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Boringly, I would marry my laptop or iPod. But if I could have neither of those inanimate objects, I’d marry my refrigerator, provided it was a MAGIC refrigerator that automatically reloaded itself with frozen pizzas, sushi, and blocks of cheese. I think I could live pretty happily ever after.
JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Eat Sardines so you don’t have to
October 15th, 2009 at 10:48 am
I’m going to have to pick my awesome blue purse, snagged on sale at my place of employment. Although I suspect I would have many affairs with other handbags, such as the black suede with the pink and black ribbon strap…
Thanks for this post, I feel much better about myself now!
Kim´s last blog ..So, What Do I Call It?
October 15th, 2009 at 11:26 am
You’re all liars. You know we’d all marry our televisions if we were honest. I know I would.
Patricia´s last blog ..What is PR?
October 15th, 2009 at 11:40 am
What in the name of Walt Disney is wrong with people? She’s marrying… a Gondola Ride???
She does realize she and her new spouse are always going to have to do things on his terms–
Not to mention his mood swings and the fact that he never really takes her anywhere…
Jenn Thorson´s last blog ..Darth Vader Brainstorms Naming the Death Star
October 15th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
This is really too creepy for words. I think I blacked out for a minute after reading this post.
My husband would say that I’m married to my pc, he could be right but it doesn’t keep my butt warm in bed at night!
I think I know some people who are objectum with their xbox 360’s
Buggys´s last blog ..
October 15th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Well, now I’ve heard everything. A crazy chick who wants to marry a roller coaster. Now THERE’S a relationship that’s bound to have some ups and downs.
Ba DUMP bump.
I’ll go with my laptop. A common thread, but it is what it is.
Knucklehead´s last blog ..What Ever Happened To . . . Schroeder?
October 15th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
my iPhone, definitely. it is with me always, never lets me down. I even sleep with it under my pillow. ahhhh, true love!
October 15th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
It’d have to be a coffee maker, only not the one I have, which is sort of the NASCAR watching, beer-belly and bad teeth version of a coffee machine lover. My Valentino is out there somewhere,a sleek chrome and black number with a timed grind-and perk option and a steam jet and tiny sidecar pot for espresso and matching demitasse cups with tiny spoons.
Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog ..Vacation Part the First: Getting Down
October 15th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Oh, and iPod lovers: apparently there is an attachment you can get for your iPod which makes it surprisingly able to meet…..needs. I saw it in a magazine. You’ll just have to Google that on your own.
Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog ..Vacation Part the First: Getting Down
October 15th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
My GPS, because we both love to travel. Plus, it’s ever so patient, calm, and helpful, even when I become misplaced. And it’s blue. I like blue.
October 15th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I will have to think about that.
grannyann´s last blog ..Do It Yourself Day
October 15th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I’m thinking that perhaps human/pc or laptop marriages should be legalized because there are so many of us that would choose that as our better half, me included. However, after the honeymoon was over I believe that I would also be having an affair with my camera.
ann´s last blog ..Note worthy
October 15th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Yep, the coffeemaker is my beloved, and my beloved is mine!
Leah Rubin´s last blog ..Things I Want Thursday
October 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
cardiogirl — I could have guessed as much. I can’t see you without your stylin’ footwear. How many pair do you have, by the way?
Susan K — It’s interesting you mention garbage truck. I once wrote a thank you post to trash guys because I don’t know what I’d do without them. Taking the garbage out this morning almost made me gag. Lifted the lid to see what was in one of two containers. Winced and heaved a little.
Mark — Nothin’ wrong with that. Like tech plastic surgery.
wngl — Ugh. The ferris wheel. I can’t do those, so there’s no love there for me. Books on the other hand…
Karen — It seems like we are all tethered to our computers or other electronics. You are not alone. I thought aloud this morning “I can’t wait to see what Daisy says!” I love her.
Tracy — Spread the love, sister!
Stephanie Barr — Funny! Just what I thought too. Talk about having to share your husband with the masses. Or shall we say asses?
staciesmadness — You know, I might have to change my answer to yours. I love my bed. I love sleep. I hate getting up and leaving it every day.
MadMadMargo — With a lot of people scratching their heads over it. But yeah. Who’s with us?
moooooog35 — Yes, it counts. I’m very happy for you both. May you have a long and exciting relationship. Thanks for the Stumble!
Oscar — As long as each of them doesn’t care about the other loves in your life, go for it. The more the merrier.
Grace — Honestly, that woman who married the Eiffel Tower. I mean, how does she feel about all the people who ride up its elevator. Are you prepared to handle all the tourists who ogle your building?
Barb — You’re going to have to forgive me for not getting the Harry Potter reference. I’m one of a handful of people on earth who hasn’t read the series. I lead a sheltered life.
Dr. Grumpy — I do believe laptops and mugs to well together. Make it a threesome. p.s. I love your blog. Subscribed today.
JD at I Do Things — That’s brilliance. I would love to open my fridge every day and see it magically restocked. But not with sushi. Bacon, please.
Kim — You have perhaps the best choice because a girl is never without her purse. I predict a happy marriage for you both.
Patricia — I wouldn’t mind that either. I think the guy who wrote the original article suggested he’d marry his remote.
Jenn Thorson — LMAO. Yeah, he’s gonna be such a homebody, never going anywhere. Just. Sitting. There.
Buggys — I know. It’s messed up, isn’t it? We used to have an xBox, but we got a divorce when my husband gave it a way to a needy child. With probably $500 worth of games. I miss it, but at least it was for a good cause.
Knucklehead — Good one. You’re a regular Rodney Dangerfield. We are all married to our technology in some form. What would we all have said back in the 70s when we had none of this?
Andrea — You do?! Would you believe I don’t have an iPod and only recently got a cell phone? I know. I’m totally behind the times.
Shieldmaiden — My dear, you need a Keurig. ‘Nuff said. You have interested me in the what I’m guessing is a vibrating iPod. Yep. Just googled it. Touted as something that will “give the recipient big smiles on the way to work.” Awesome.
P.L. Frederick — When my GPS got me safely to my first destination the first time I used it, I kissed it. No lie.
grannyann — Get back to us. Don’t be afraid.
ann — I say anything that can be plugged into your laptop can come along for the ride, don’t you?
Leah Rubin — I like my coffeemaker, but don’t love it. It’s got more bells and whistles than I need. We get along, but I’m not at all impressed with its flashiness. It needs someone who can appreciate it more. Want it?
October 15th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Thank you so much! I’m glad to have you as a regular reader and I appreciate the award. See, that’s the thing. We want someone … er, someTHING, that’s both fun and reliable. The car and camera don’t have to know about each other, do they?
You are most welcome!
The car and the camera already know about each other… hmmmm… well, they will just have to cope I guess! Both of *them* are replacable! (please don’t tell them I said that. lol)
Picture Imperfect´s last blog ..Who is that?
October 15th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Okay. You get WAY too many comments, honey. I can’t see what’s already been said, unless I give up my day job. Will you support me if I do?
I shall marry my future blackberry…BUT, he must have iPod’s musical moves, laptop’s email/blogging capabilities, and be on the unlimited texting (Twitter) and friends and fam so I can talk to my heart’s content. It will be a marriage made in heaven.
And when he vibrates??? Oh, baby!!!!!!
kathryn´s last blog ..Right Hook
October 15th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
I personally do not see anything wrong with it.
PaulsHealthBlog.com´s last blog ..Do You Know What’s In Your Vitamins?
October 15th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
My digital camera. And that’s as far as I’m going with that.
I already had to listen this to my straight co-workers talk about whether, if they were gay, would like to have a more femine girlfriend or butch one. . . what in the world?!
October 16th, 2009 at 1:13 am
Wow, I guess you can find love anywhere and size doesn’t matter! I’d marry my iPhone.
AVCr8teur´s last blog ..Road Trip
October 16th, 2009 at 3:29 am
Hmmm, since my iPod and my phone plug into my laptop, I’m set there, but I think I would have to have illicit affairs with my beads! I have the need to fondle them on a regular basis!
Anna´s last blog ..Thursday Thirteen: B x13!
October 16th, 2009 at 7:25 am
I have 13 pair, so I clearly need one more to prevent bad karma.
cardiogirl´s last blog ..The book of questions, Volume 63
October 16th, 2009 at 7:47 am
Sheesh, so many objects to decide from, I guess I’m a whore when it comes to loving inanimate objects.
Yeah, the PC is a good love, but fickle–oh so fickle sometimes. Not often, but when it quits on me I truly hate that machine.
I LOVE my Oreck vacuum cleaner (and no, I don’t get paid by them to advertise) because it never lets me down. But that relationship is only about me–I put it on the shelf (closet) and take it off only when I need it.
I love my two sewing machines–a new computerized Husqvarna that does everything perfectly and my old work horse Bernina that is so tried and true. I guess I’m like Hef on that one–I gotta have two.
And my last love–the bottle opener on the inside of the garage door. Simple, yet always there for me. And lots of opportunities are available when I use it.
Lin´s last blog ..I Love Hobbes Thursday
October 16th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Hmmmm. If I could marry an inanimate object, it would be a large cheese filled crust extra pepperoni three cheeses pizza made with white sauce. I would share it with my wife, of course. that is the only time either of us would be involved in a 3 way!
Chris Casey´s last blog ..For an aspiring writer, reality sets in, and that is okay
October 16th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Yes, Yes I am prepared for all the oglers – Just proves that I have impeccable taste.
Grace´s last blog ..Anyway, anyway
October 16th, 2009 at 10:53 am
My waterbed. I already spend most of my time with it; it’s so warm and comfy. And it doesn’t snore at night. So that’s a plus.
Maureen´s last blog ..Naked
October 16th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Kathy,
This truly gives new meaning to the playground comeback “If you love it, why don’t you marry it?”
TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Happy Thanksgiving to My Southern Relatives
October 16th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
erm, are the conservatives out in force crying that marriage is between one man and one woman not one woman and one ride? *sigh*
As a goat I would marry my hay pile.
The publicist would marry her stove. She is tied to it anyway during canning season so it seems like she is married to it anyway. But she would have an affair with the kitchenaid. She is a slut.
Pricilla´s last blog ..AbbyDay – It’s MY Corn
October 16th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
hummm, so many choices. I’d probably have to go with the UPS truck, because it brings me everything else I want. My wireless optical mouse is a close second! Great post find Kathy!
DJ´s last blog ..Abracadabra!
October 16th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
I really wanted to answer this Kathy, I really did, but golldarnit, it’s been such a long dry spell for me I think I better get out the old manuals and make sure what you’re spose’n to do, so’s I don’t hurt myself or anyone else…
Let’s see, it says:
Ya Puts you hmmhmm here,
You puts your mmm mmm there,
You puts your hmmmmm in and ya shakes it all about,
Ya doo’s the funky money and ya turns yourself around,
That’s what it’s all about….
Yes, I’m sorry Kathy dear, but I think this is venturing into far more dangerous territory than I’m willing to venture into at this age with these creaky joints. Sam the pug has offered, but his private parts were taken when he was a wee small lad, leaving him a bit hobbled and cattywompus (We don’t discuss this with him…) and mostly all he does is snore loud, and I think we’ll both just sit on the sidelines and drink the punch.
Maitri, shaking head sadly… tsk, tsk…
October 16th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
For sure would be my iPhone if I had one (maybe for Christmas???)
But for now I’d say I’d marry my guitar.
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..10 Great Mysteries of the Universe, 2
October 17th, 2009 at 12:25 am
Hahaha This POST is crazy! Hek I guess If it was me it have to by TV. Just can’t live without it~
BTW I’ve a surprise for you on my blog: http://zestynachos.blogspot.com/2009/10/wow-two-more-blog-awards.html
nettagyrl´s last blog ..Wow! Two more Blog Awards!
October 17th, 2009 at 5:46 am
No question, it would be my coffee cup.
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach ´s last blog ..On what brand do YOU focus when you’re making money?
October 17th, 2009 at 6:08 am
Picture Imperfect — As long as they’re both down with that arrangement, it’s all good. I almost divorced my camera last weekend because it eats batteries. But I saved the relationship by buying better rechargeables.
kathryn — Hey, isn’t that calling the kettle black? You’ve got a lot of comments over at your house, too! All I can say is I gotta get myself a Blackberry. But I’d have to start a charity fund for that. I wish you many happy years together. Jealous!
PaulsHealthBlog — I know you’re pulling my leg. Please tell me you’re pulling my leg.
Lisa at Boondock Ramblings — OMG. What a question to ask. I think that beats this one by a mile. So what is it? Butch or feminine?
AVCr8teur — No kidding. How did they find a tux for the ride? I think your iPhone would probably be glowing on your wedding day.
Anna — Go for it, sister! You like to fondle. Beads like to be fondled. Or so I hear.
cardiogirl — Holy smokes! You must have a separate closet just for your low-tops. Yeah, anything but 13. I’m superstitious like that.
Lin — That’s how I feel about Google. Got a love/hate thing going on with it. Still peeved with the whole Blogger comment fiasco and moving my Feedburner feed over to them. You have a lot of loves, my dear. I wish I wanted to marry my vacuum cleaner like you do. But mine is a good-for-nothing slouch and I can’t get it to work right. I don’t know why we’re still together.
Chris Casey — Oh, man. The pizza sounds awesome. And you need to tell me where I can get one. Oh, and I wouldn’t share. I’m monogamous with my pizza.
Grace — I could just see you standing there “He’s all mine. Isn’t he gorgeous? I’m sure your building would appreciate it.
Maureen — I think that makes two votes for a bed. I’m glad you found your true love, but I suspect your affection comes and goes in waves.
TheSnackHound — It does! Maybe that’s where this woman got the idea. Or maybe she’s just crazy.
Pricilla — Awww, I can see your hay pile being your soul mate. Until it runs out. Then you get a new soul mate for lunch. LMAO at your kitchenaid slut reference. It has a nice ring to it.
DJ — You must go nuts at Christmas then. I can imagine your heart all aflutter when you hear the truck pull up and the driver door fly open. Match made in heaven..
Maitri — That’s OK. By all means, don’t hurt yourself thinkin’ about an answer! And tell Sam I’m truly sorry. Maybe he’ll keep his bits in his next life.
Jannie Funster — Ah, a musical marriage! See, now that actually sounds kinda normal. Hope Santa brings you an iPhone. You’ll have some ’splainin’ to do to your guitar, but for now I hope you continue to make beautiful music together.
nettagirl — We are a little infatuated with our TVs, too. We have 4 in the house for just two people. Hey, thanks for the award!
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach — You and me both. After my laptop, of course. We three are here, together as always.
October 17th, 2009 at 7:08 am
A real head-scratcher.
An award awaits you!
vanilla´s last blog ..Awarded by Leigh
October 17th, 2009 at 10:19 am
I don’t know where it came from but when I brought your blog up a window appeared for a Nielson-sponsored survey…Anyone else have this happen?
Grace´s last blog ..October 17, 1946
October 17th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Don’t think I love any object enough to marry it unless it was one of those female play toys. I watched Boston Legal a couple years ago and they had some episodes about this subject which I found hilarious.
Jude´s last blog ..Motorcycle Travel/States That Require Helmets
October 18th, 2009 at 3:03 am
“The Junk Drawer” has been included in this weeks A Sunday Drive. I hope this helps to attract even more new visitors here.
http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2009/10/sunday-drive_18.html
FishHawk´s last blog ..A Sunday Drive
October 18th, 2009 at 10:00 am
That is just strange…
I think I was going to marry an object it would probably be my lip gloss. I absolutely love it, and couldn’t possibly live without it. One question though: Can I have a whole harem of lip glosses? It’s too hard to pick just one.
October 18th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
A few of these comments are hilarious and you have certainly hit upon a subject that is near and dear to some !!!
October 18th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
I could answer this question, but I would never live it down on the inter nets.
The thing is, how long can you go on loving something that doesn’t love you back? I thought we all learned how to get over this with that one boy in 9th grade who made us swoon and drop all our books but who only mocked us in return. How do you turn that around and focus it on a carnival ride?
I guess it’s because while the carnival ride will never love you back, it will never, ever mock you.
This lady needs to get a dog. At least the dog will wag its tail when you come home at night.
Wendy´s last blog ..This Whole Learning to Read Early Thing Has Its Drawbacks
October 18th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I’d guess I’d have to marry something practical, like my glasses or my contacts, mostly because without them I can’t see two feet in front of me. Til death or LASIK surgery do us part.
I’m just curious about the woman’s honeymoon. Will the amusement park let her have a conjugal visit after hours in order to consummate the marriage? Gives a whole new meaning to riding an amusement park ride. Ewww.
Staci at Just Bloggled´s last blog ..From the Dentist’s Chair to the Painted Chair
October 18th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
My cell phone, I guess. Not too original, I know!
fanficwrit´s last blog ..Fascinating new facts on mosquitoes (or) Sani peyarchi nonsense
October 19th, 2009 at 10:58 am
I am partial to my wine opener. It brings a smile to my face every night when I pull it out of the drawer! (Although, I am a little fearful of the honeymoon. Could be more than I bargained for!)
Beth´s last blog ..It’s 10:16 am and the Main Reason I Cannot Get Things Done
October 19th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
People are so weird!
I’ll stick with Gail, my inflatable doll.
; )
Ferd´s last blog ..Sunday Spirit – Time’s Ticking Away, repost
October 20th, 2009 at 5:01 am
vanilla — No kidding. And thanks for the lovely award! I’m charming!
Grace — Popped you an email. That survey comes from my Blogher ad. Sorry ’bout that. Luckily that should only happen once in a blue moon.
Jude — If it made a topic for a legal show, it must be wacky!
FishHawk — Thank you for the link! And a cool concept, at that.
Your Daily Cute — You may have a harem of lip gloss. Just be sure you use them evenly. You don’t want anyone getting jealous.
Linda — Got that right.
Wendy — No fair! You owe us! How do we turn it around? Maybe because there’s no chance the ride could ignore her love. He can’t go anywhere, so he’s kind of stuck and she knows he’ll never leave her. Yeah, she needs a dog or cat. Or therapy.
Staci at Just Boggled — I’m married to my glasses too. We make a great pair. Yeah, riding the ride. Eww is right. And it’ll have to happen when the park is open and with so many onlookers. Weird.
fanficwrit — So far, I haven’t freaked out to be without my phone for a period of time, but I know people who go ballistic without theirs. God, I hope I never get that attached. Oh, but then there’s my laptop. Nevermind.
Beth — Just think when all its friends come to the wedding. You’ll have a full bar!
Ferd — Ha! How does Gail feel about being called inflatable? She is a doll, though
November 8th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Sadly, I had previously heard of this condition. There was a programme on telly over in the UK last year about this very same thing. There was a guy who was totally in love with his car, and lots of other weird stuff. What I want to know is, who on earth entertains these people and marries them to their beloved? Surely they are culpable in perpetuating this bizarre relationship! If it came down to it, my laptop and my music would be chosen. Can music be an object? Hmm, anyway, couldn’t live without either!
Heather´s last blog ..Optimize your site for the web – is understanding a minefield?
November 18th, 2009 at 7:04 am
This is the craziest article I read in my whole life! LOL.
December 8th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
LOL, I am like you, It would be laptop I guess. I think if my hubby had to answer this question “if possible” he would choose the dog, or a close second it would be ruinscape.
I agree people are just weird!!!!
March 9th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
I have my eye on a very cute desktop. We met at Future Shop and I really think things might work out…
Anger Children´s last blog ..How do I find the freezing point depression of a Naphthalene Solution?
March 9th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
I am partial to my wine opener. It brings a smile to my face every night when I pull it out of the drawer!
Home Fitness Gym´s last blog ..How do I find the freezing point depression of a Naphthalene Solution?
May 20th, 2010 at 8:45 am
Haha! Wow, there are some strange people in this world. My husband is lucky I didn’t know about this before we got married! Of course, back then I’d have probably chosen my favorite pair of jeans or my hair dryer. The jeans wouldn’t fit today and the hair dryer would probably be broken by now. Then what?