Careful Where You Stick That
Childhood, Stupid things I do November 21st, 2009
mo·ron (môr‘?n’, m?r‘-): idiot: a person of subnormal intelligence.
The date: Circa 1971.
The location: Family doctor’s office.
The injury: Smashed fingertip.
My mother had taken three of us kids for an annual checkup at our family doctor. After my sister and I were checked out, we retreated to the waiting room while my mom stayed with my brother and the doctor.
With nothing to do and time to kill, little Kathy Simpleton became mesmerized by the opening and closing of the front door as other patients came and went.
Every time the door opened, a one inch crack opened between the door and its hinges, revealing bright rays of sunlight.
Open, sun, close. Open, sun, close. Mesmerizing indeed.
Curiosity set in. Kathy wondered if she could stick her finger into that sunshine-filled crack and …. do what? See if it fit? And then what? Cheer and bet her sister couldn’t do the same thing?
We will never know why. Asking why just makes it worse.
What we do know is that stupid is as stupid does.
When that two hundred pound metal door came to rest in its closed position on the finger of the dumbest child ever born east of the Mississippi, she learned in an instant that sometimes it’s best to be satisfied with imagining instead of doing.
Yeah.
Of course, one might think this qualifies as my most moronic kid moment, and yet, if you think about it at least I had the sense to do it right in a doctor’s office.
It is unclear whether my mother asked the doctor to examine not only the crushed finger of her whimpering child, but the brain that thunk up such a senseless idea.
Care to share the least thought-out stunts of your kiddom? Extra points if you needed a cast, crutches or a wheelchair as a result.
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November 21st, 2009 at 8:05 pm
There was only one rule when I rode my bike at my grandmother’s house; DO NOT cross Brookhaven Road. I hadn’t even been riding a two wheeler for very long when a school friend talked me into breaking the ONE RULE so I could go down a steep hill that was ‘SO FUN.’ The street exceeded her description; it was like a blacktopped skate park halfpipe. I was afraid, but unwilling to admit it. I pushed off from the top. I began to gather more speed than I ever had in my life and started to reflect on the whole ‘pedal backwards to stop’ thing. The handlebars wobbled more and more violently until they locked sideways and I was launched over them, skidding to rest under a parked El Camino. The rest is a blur of epistaxis, bent forks, and my grandfather driving to Susan Lane to put my mangled bike in the back of his truck.
He never dimed me out for crossing the road. Hell, I don’t even remember how he found me.
Maybe I DID have a concussion.
Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog ..Grocery Shopping, PMS, and You
November 21st, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Hm. I thought long and hard, but could think of nothing reckless I’d done as youth that warranted Emergency Room Level action. I guess I was just born smart!
(Scratch that, I’m kidding of course! Surprise, surprise.
More like I was born cautious after seeing my brothers do some really idiotic things!)
By the way– got any scars from the incident? OUCH!
Crabby Blogging Lady´s last blog ..How To Start a Hate Club Real Fast
November 21st, 2009 at 8:18 pm
I remember one time we were just hanging out in our garage and I had a plastic baseball bat. My sister was sitting on something and I was swinging the bat at her head saying “Don’t worry, I can stop. . . oops! SORRY!”
Karen & Gerard Zemek´s last blog ..4 Things I Learned This Week–Part 46
November 21st, 2009 at 8:29 pm
The summer after 5th grade, I was taking out the trash and the bag was SUPER heavy. I had the bright idea to put one foot in front of the other and twist to the side and SWING the bag in front of me and then step forward and repeat until I got the bag to the street can. This plan made it incredibly easy for the broken glass that was in the bag to slice into BOTH of my ankles, resulting in two blood-soaked towels and 26 stiches. Hoo-rah. Thanks go to my dad for putting the broken corning ware lid in the trash without wrapping it carefully. Thanks also go to my dad for rushing me to the emergency room with the aforementioned bloody towels and then to Doctor’s Care when the emergency room nurse told me I’d have to wait in line before I could be seen. Did I mention one ankle had a nicked artery? Spurt, spurt, spurt…
Surfie´s last blog ..PhotoHunt: Birds
November 21st, 2009 at 8:30 pm
I cut the power cord on a radio with a pair of scissors and POP a huge spark left a burn mark on my wall. Then I tried to convince my dad, who was an electronics genius that the cord had spontaneously broken in that perfect straight line. Sorry, no emergency vehicles involved and no scars.
Maggie´s last blog ..Flashback Friday- The Where on Earth Did the Years Go Edition
November 21st, 2009 at 9:26 pm
I wished more than anything that I could fly. You might think you know where this is going but wait. I loved Mary Poppins and was convinced an umbrella was all I needed. Since the wind was not enough to lift me up a running start was needed. When that was not enough I had to find stairs to leap off of. Stitches on the top of my head. Of course there is the “slower pot” story. We lived in TX, I was 3 and my parents had taken me to a rodeo which I loved. So much my mother bought me a pair of cowboy boots. However they were too big and I was told not to wear them until I had grown into them. Why she bought them when they didn’t fit and I couldn’t wear them I don’t know. Regardless, I wore them anyway and managed to careen into the terra cotta flower pot that was on the steps. There was no umbrella involved. I have a lovely scar above my eyebrow from this one. There was the finger in the station wagon door, though I am sure this was an honest to goodness accident. As I stood there with my hand stuck in the door, crying for my grandmother to get it out, she looked at me and said “you have another hand, open the car door”. Good advice. Scar on middle left finger. Luckily my father was a doctor and he just stitched me up in the kitchen. I’m sure he was too embarrassed to take me to the er. I won’t even go into how I got the scar on my chin from the infamous Cars Concert of 1983.
Jen´s last blog ..Cans For Comments
November 21st, 2009 at 9:27 pm
I have a vague remembrance of watching my mother heat something up on the electric range for my brother’s cub scout troop. Looking up I could see that the burner was black, could it possibly still be hot? I reached up and laid my hand across the top of burner to find out. The rest of my remembrance is of sitting in mother’s lap in the rocking chair with towel wrapped ice on my fingers.
Moonshadow´s last blog ..K-Monster’s Halloween Birthday
November 21st, 2009 at 9:40 pm
When I was a kid, my dad had a tall wardrobe and he kept his change on top of it. And yes, I used to occasionally swipe it so I could go to the store and get a candy bar. One day, I found that he put the change more towards the back of the wardrobe and I couldn’t quite reach it. So…I open the doors on it, and stood on the little ledge so I could reach up and get the change. Well, the next thing I knew, I was falling backwards – with the wardrobe crashing on top of me. Made quite the noise, and scared the bejeezus out of my parents. Didn’t have any stitches or bruises…except for my ego. Never stole any change from dad again.
November 21st, 2009 at 10:14 pm
I was 5 yo old and my sister was 3. I was on the second floor landing and my sister was at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me. i turned with my back to her and bent over to look at her through my legs (why? I was a stupid kid!) Of course, I was on the very edge of the top step, got dizzy, fell down the flight of stairs and knocked three teeth out! I had to live with the no teeth for several years then!
Buggys´s last blog ..Leggo My Eggo!
November 21st, 2009 at 10:38 pm
When I was little we had a turquoise stool in the kitchen so those of us under 5 feet could get down things we couldn’t reach (like plates and peanut butter and cereal), as well as things we weren’t supposed to get into (marshmallow, anyone?).
I also used to sit on it and watch my dad make things. One day he was making a cake and stepped away from the mixer for a moment. Little miss genius leaned in too close and ended up with part of my long hair wrapped around the beaters. And pulled out, of course. Needless to say, there was no cake that night. And it was the last time I sat there.
I don’t have any scars, but the hair on the left side of my bangs has been thinner than the right for the last 40 years.
Ladybuggz´s last blog ..It’s my birthday . . .
November 21st, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Did you also run off the edge of a cliff and spin your legs a few times before looking down, looking up again in shock, gulping in panic and then plunging to the river at the bottom of the canyon? Just checking.
feefifoto´s last blog ..No Need To Watch These
November 21st, 2009 at 11:10 pm
I wanted inside my brothers’ bedroom and my hands were greasy from eating chicken. At the time I was around five. It didn’t occur to me to wash my hands. I tried opening the door with my teeth and chipped a front tooth as the result. I don’t remember if I got the door open or not.
Amber´s last blog ..Children of Dust: A Memoir of Pakistan by Ali Eteraz
November 21st, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Just the ones when I was a kid? what about yesterday?
Lets see, I’ll just pick two.
5 years old, stopped in a store and got a soda. I liked to chew on the straw, and still had one in my mouth when we left the store, despite my mother telling me to throw it away. Opened the car door, hit the straw hard enough to carve a neat round hole in the back of my throat. Bled for hours and hurt for days.
At age 7 I had a pony mare and a foal. My mother was leading the mare as I rode it, and I held the line to the foal who walked nicely beside us. I accidentally kicked the foal in the rump. He bucked and ran off. I desperately held on the the rope despite the skin on my hands shredding. We were in our own yard, there was no reason to worry about them getting loose. Yeah, 2 weeks of pain on that one.
Shadowsrider´s last blog ..Baltimore Irish Festival
November 22nd, 2009 at 3:32 am
Did you know Leprechans hide their pots of gold other places during a draught? My brother (6 at the time) told me (age 4) their favorite place was at the bottom of half full sprite cans. If you put your finger down far enough and pull it out very quickly you can drag the gold out of the very sharp tin finger hating lip. Three fingers and 9 stiches later I really hate rainbows…..and sprite.
November 22nd, 2009 at 5:28 am
Ah, your poor little finger! One time, I climbed into the tiny space between two kitchen cabinets (in the bottom corner where the cabinets meet). Then I could not get out for hours.
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..Sunday Comics with Daisy!
November 22nd, 2009 at 6:23 am
In first grade my desk was right next to the wall. One afternoon, Mrs. Young was going over something exceedingly dull. Since it would still be a couple years before we had a real science class, my curiosity about things like electricity had no outlet.
Fortunately, my desk was right next to a two prong outlet. Plugged into that outlet was some audio recording/reading/playing machine that I never did figure out. The important element of it, though, was the three prong plug it used.
Naturally, to plug thing like that in 1977, the school used those awesome three-prong to two-prong adapters with the fun ground wire. All within perfect reach of my fidgety hand. Over that afternoon I play with that grounding wire, until I finally got it in between the plug and the wall, and managed to touch it to both of teh plugged in prongs.
ZAP! A spark and loud noise lit up from my desk. A very scared Mrs. Young turned to me and I saw all sorts of possibilities go through her mind. Well, maybe not but it looked like that.
Fortunately, no one was hurt and nothing actually caught fire. But there was an 8″ scorch mark on the wall for the rest of the year.
Cromely´s last blog ..Coffee and lessons
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:12 am
EVERYONE: I just LOVE how much you’re willing to share here in the Drawer! My husband and I laughed our heads off at your stories. Except for the ones involving lots of blood. Those made us wince.
Shieldmaiden1196 — As far as I’m concerned, that hill sounded WORTH IT! My sister had a similar experience. Once the “wobble” started, it was all over. Not a thing you can do about it. Did the bike survive?
Crabby Blogging Lady — Cautious will keep you alive. Curious has a habit of ending badly. Good on you! No physical scars. It’s all mental, baby.
Karen & Gerard Zemek — OMG, Karen! This doesn’t sound like something you’d ever consider doing. OK, maybe a young Karen would. But still!
Surfie — OK, your comment made my husband and I wince. I’ve heard of this happening to others before (and let this all be a lesson to everyone), but we were all lucky my Mom made sure we always wrapped sharp things with newspaper before disposing of them. Oh, boy. “Nicked artery” makes me want to faint. My God.
Maggie — Awesome! I love how you tried to explain that one away. Hey, it was worth a try. Incidentally, I almost burned down a hotel in Paris sticking the wrong kind of adapter into an outlet. Pop, flash, smoke. They should have kicked us out immediately.
Jen — I’m glad I’ve never thought I could fly. Your story makes me feel good in a way. You’re just loaded with stitches and scars, aren’t you? True marks of a childhood well-lived. p.s. I love your grandmother.
Moonshadow — Oh, poor little moonshadow! I’m guessing you never ever touched a stovetop again! Apparently red means hot, but so can black! My cat Lucky learned the same lesson a few years ago. He lightly singed a paw once, walking across our smoothtop stove.
Kathy — I hope you know how lucky you were, young lady! But I do know the lure of candy bar change. I’m just lucky enough my parents kept spare change LOW!
Buggys — Of course you did! I only wish you hadn’t lost teeth over it. Teeth are kind of necessary. You probably scared the daylights out of your parents tumbling down, down, down!
Ladybuggz — Mixers and hair do not mix! Literally. Oh, you poor thing. So do you wear your hair in a ponytail now when you cook? I would. Just sayin’.
feefifoto — Har har! No, but it’s amazing I didn’t try any Wile E. Coyote stunts like that. Maybe that’s only a boy thing?
Amber — Awesome. Laughing my head off here. I love how kids try things that would so easily be solved if we’d have just stopped to think about it for a second.
Shadowsrider — Oh, man. The straw impalement! I’m feeling a sore throat coming on just reading that. Oweeeee! Re: the foal, I would say even if it could get loose, LET GOOOOOO! Oh, boy. I’m in so much pain reading about shredded skin.
daughterbonnie — Oh. My. God. Brothers are the devil! Your story is insane, but hilarious I’m sorry to say. Also, your brother is very imaginative. Such a cool story, but I’m sorry you had to get stitches for your trouble.
Daisy the Curly Cat — I remember that story! You were being a sneaky kitteh, weren’t you? I bet you were scared in there and regretted playing hide and seek. No more crawl spaces, young lady!
Cromely — “my curiosity about things like electricity had no outlet.” You get a prize for that awesome play on words. I’m glad there was no fire, but I love that you had a scorch mark forever. Proof of your adventure. What I want to know is if you need electrical work in your house, do you hire a professional or are you a DIY guy?
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:57 am
My brothers and I talked my little sister into eating these red berries that were growing on our fence line to see how they tasted. She at first said that they were pretty good but withing 15 minutes, she got sick and was transported to the emergency room to get her stomach pumped. The parents were none tooooo happy with us. LOL! She never believed us after that event.
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:12 am
About 5 little morons decide it would be fun to head into the woods and play in the hole one of the morons had found the previous day. One little idiot brought eggs. One little idiot brought bricks. One little idiot put the eggs in the hole. The rest of the idiots threw the bricks in the hole to break the eggs. When most of the bricks were gone, one BIG idiot decided to climb into the hole and recover some bricks. One huge moron thought it would be ok to throw a brick while the big idiot was down in the hole. All I remember is screaming at the top of my lungs, blinded by the blood that was pouring into my eyes. A few hours and a bunch of stitches later I was happy to learn that the big moron got a butt-woopin and went wa-wa-wa-wa all the way home.
sheila sultani´s last blog ..Top 10 AdSense Tricks To Boost Your Commission
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:44 am
Not just as a kid, but now… I hit my head on something at least once a day.
John J Savo´s last blog ..Stealthy Bidding Techniques
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 am
I remember once when I was little I was sticking my fingers out the window of the car as my mom was rolling them up.
Three of my fingers got stuck in the closed window. I started screaming and my mom had to unloc the windows and open it for me.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:44 am
I did so many stupid things when I was a child, that I couldn’t possibly tell about all of them. LOL, One thing I did, was throw a tomato at my sister and of course it landed on the wall. Well that was a mess. I even missed my sister. How dumb is that???
Great post.
Marg´s last blog ..What is a feral cat?
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:06 am
Mom would bring me to Laneco because I was generally well-behaved and occasionally even helpful. I was about five years old and a good reader, so when I saw the “emergency exit only – alarm will sound” sign on the door by the checkout, I was forewarned, yet my curiosity got the best of me. I pressed the door handle and the loudest alarm I had ever heard started wailing and didn’t stop, even when the door closed. I ran quickly back to where my mom was bagging her groceries. The manager had to come and shut it off. Neither my mom nor the lady at the register said a word, but I’m sure they knew it was me and had a good laugh about it.
Lehigh Valley Transplant´s last blog ..Comment Moderation & Lehigh Pub
November 22nd, 2009 at 10:26 am
Ah, hell, Kathy, I could be here all day. There was the time I thought I’d “cure” chicken pox by pouring rubbing alcohol down my sore covered back (Hint: that doesn’t work but it hurts like hell). The time I thought I’d “help” by washing the basement floor and started by pour bucket after bucket of water on it until is was 1.5″ deep. The time where, just to see if I could, I talked my brother into eating a whole bar of soap.
Makes me wonder if brain was connected in my youth.
Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..For Krys: What About My Relationship?
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Silly little Kathy. I bet you didn’t do anything like that again
I can’t honestly remember anything that I did myself that was an emergency, though my sister did almost kill me with babies milk powder – now don’t you want to know how that could possibly happen?
babs – beetle´s last blog ..My very own underwater light show
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I, of course, never did anything stupid as a child. (Yeah, right!) But I was overshadowed by my sibling, who asked the neighbor kid to hold the paper target for his new bow and arrow set. Yep… 7 stitches later, the neighbor kid realized this was probably not a smart idea.
CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Missed Opportunities
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
It’s amazing that a brain surgery can wipe out your childhood, but it can.
I have no memories left of when I was a child. If I ask my brothers I get what I think are lies of my impossible attitude towards them. But I just don’t remember.
*sigh*
Pricilla´s last blog ..We Get to Graze?!
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Not me, my brother’s tale—he was playing with my mom’s razor dispenser (remember those razors that you had to insert a fresh blade every so often?) when one accidently came out. He didn’t want to get yelled at, so he tried to bend it in half. Yes, he was a bloody mess with two huge slices in both thumbs that required a bunch of stitches. Add to it that he was in the tub at the time. And no, he wasn’t little–I think he was like 13 at the time. I wince just thinking about it.
Lin´s last blog ..I’ve got an in with Santa
November 22nd, 2009 at 1:31 pm
One of my children when they were about 2 years old found a small piece of broken glass wedged between the edge of the carpet and the baseboard. It had probably been there for years before we lived there as we are often shoeless in the house and clean up anything like like our lives, or at least our feet depend on it. Anyway, some little voice in there two year old brain told them to put the glass up their nose. A quick trip was made to the doctor where a long pair of tweezers fixed the problem, but try to figure that one out.
Will´s last blog ..Some Reasons Why Organic Turkeys Cost More
November 22nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Oddly enough I was a danger to other people rather than myself – like the time I made my younger brother jump out a second story window, or the time some older kid dropped my younger brother off the Andriani’s stoop onto his head and I went after the guy, tackled him running across the Andriani’s lawn and smashed his head into some decorative rocks – big bully wound up with a concussion, and then there was the time…
Grace´s last blog ..Sunday Serenade
November 22nd, 2009 at 5:07 pm
It is a real shame that children’s inquisitive nature comes back to bite them , and their parents, so often.
The only one I really remember from that age is a dog bite. Our chihuahua, Missy, was under my bed and I looked under the bed. Missy bit me right in the nose. It was very traumatic, but I learned not to bother animals when they do not want to be bothered.
Keith@Norman Rockwell Art´s last blog ..Nov 22, National Museum of Natural History, Smithsonian Institute, is home to Norman Rockwell painting
November 22nd, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Your blog is definitely one of my favorites and I am presenting you with the Best Blog Award over at http://ask-fisher.com
Congratulations and enjoy!
Fisher´s last blog ..Cats Meow Award
November 22nd, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Sheila Sultani — It’s like a nursery rhyme from a Tim Burton movie. And here I go again cringing from the thought of so much cracked skull and blood. The big moron deserved that whoopin’!
John J Savo — I wondered about that. How tall are you? I’m guessing 6′ 4″. How close did I get?
Regan — Oh, yes. The rising car window. Sooooo tempting! It’s completely understandable, but now I’m wondering if sticking your fingers where they shouldn’t go runs in our family.
Marg — It couldn’t be something that had a nice thick rind to keep all the juices in, could it?
Lehigh Valley Transplant — Oh, this is so great! Would you believe I sometimes wonder what would happen if I pulled one of those in my building at work? Of course it would go off, but I still wonder. Why do they make those things so tempting?
Stephanie Barr — OMG. The alcohol! I can’t even imagine the pain. I’m guessing your brother was younger than you. No self-respecting older brother would eat a bar of soap. I wonder. Did he toot bubbles for a week?
Babs Beetle — Yes, I DO want to know how that happened. Blog post, please.
CatLadyLarew — Oh, for crying out loud! That takes the cake. I hope your brother was severely punished. Or at least had to apologize to that poor kid for the rest of his young life.
Pricilla — Oh, for realz? So sad! Or not. Depending on how many stupid things you did. Sometimes it’s best not to remember.
Lin — I’m going to faint now. Oh my God in heaven. The blood must have been a sight. Yet another reason I’m afraid to be a parent. I don’t do blood.
Will — Kids will find the absolutely smallest, most dangerous things in the house to shove up their noses. I was fortunate in that department. I think the worst thing I shoved up there was Playdoh. Glass! Up a nose! Aieeeee!
Grace — Little violent, no? So where did your brother land? Please tell me some soft bushes.
Keith — Thank your lucky stars it was just a chihuahua and not a bull dog. Sometimes it takes only one lesson to stop stupid behavior, no?
Fisher — Hey, thanks! Appreciate the thought.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:53 pm
my husband has tons of these stories…but i can’t really remember anything about me.
although one day my mom dropped a sewing needle on the floor in the living room. i guess she didn’t know it, but while playiing on the floor i found the needle by sitting on it. it lodged itself in the flesh of my buttock and snapped off. i remember having to lay across her lap while she used pliers to yank the needle from my butt. it sunk in at least an inch. oh, the humanity…
hugs,
)
puglette
puglette´s last blog ..The Secret is Out
November 22nd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Uck… these stories are making me sick!
My dumbest thing?… When I was 12. Propping two pieces of plywood into ramps on either side of a creek so we could jump our bicycles over it Evel Knievel style. Which was fine except that it was raining the day we did it so the landing area was all muddy. So, to solve that problem we laid a giant sheet of tin siding on the ground. Ready for the dumb? I jumped over the creek, hit the landing ramp at an angle, slid down it onto the edge of the sheet metal and sliced my wrist wide open. And yes, I still have the scar to prove it. Like I said… these stories are making me sick!
Jeff´s last blog ..… which will be good experience if I ever want to become an undertaker
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:29 pm
You know, I am over sixty, and I have a very stupid thing that I did that nearly cost me a finger.
You know those metal ladders, the ones that have levers and are used to get up on the roof.
The levers are used to break the ladder down when finished.
The ladder is very heavy, 100% steel, with each section being approximately six feet of metal.
Well, when attempting to fold the ladder on a cold December day, the piece I was folding got away from me and slammed down upon the piece already on the ground.
My finger happened to be resting on the lower piece.
That’s six feet of solid steel traveling at 20 ft per second collapsing on my finger resting against another piece of solid steal.
Ouch…………..dumb
Gaston´s last blog ..New Product: Kalmbach 31st Annual Steam Passenger Service Directory 1996
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:06 am
Gosh, what to say? (as in there are so many
) How about his one? When I was about 8 or so, I learned a very simple way to unclog a can of spray paint:
)
Get safety pin, insert in nozzle, turn to object and spray;
- “Hmmm, nothing” –
Reinsert pin, turn to object and spray again;
- “Hmmm, still nothing” –
Re-reinsert pin while inspecting nozzle carefully and spray…
- “Hey, it works!” Count to one, then: “AAAAAAH MY “EYE!!
Oh so sad, but oh so true
Jen´s last blog ..American Horse Council: Welfare Code of Practice
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:17 am
P.S. Since I live in the South, (and it’s beyond relevant), I thought I should include the infamous Redneck Code Phrase that invariably precedes a suicide attempt:
“HEY Y’ALL! WATCH THIS…”
[Film at 11]
Jen´s last blog ..American Horse Council: Welfare Code of Practice
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:50 am
Jenn we had the same mishaps I too had my finger closed in a station wagon….the day I went for my school visit and…I was told I could fly off a seven foot ledge in front of my Aunts house…my other Aunt was a nurse and I don’t remember much about that time….except being bathed in the sink….so so goofy
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:32 am
“Cromely — “my curiosity about things like electricity had no outlet.” You get a prize for that awesome play on words. I’m glad there was no fire, but I love that you had a scorch mark forever. Proof of your adventure. What I want to know is if you need electrical work in your house, do you hire a professional or are you a DIY guy?”
My solution is to call the landlord. I used to do minor electrical, plumbing and bad carpentry when I was a kid, but after age 14 I ended up doing less of it.
Now I suppose, I wouldn’t think of it as “hiring an electrician.” Instead, I would “outsource my electrical projects.” It looks better on a PowerPoint that way.
Cromely´s last blog ..Original Galactica on NBC
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:46 am
My gradma complained that I never shut the car door hard enough to close all the way. So on this day, I fought for the front seat as my cousin scooted in back.
This was the day I was gonna shut the hell outta that door so no one would complain!! Too bad my cousin had not yet pulled her leg all the way into the car.
That was 30 years ago and she still bitches to me about smashed let in car door. “Sorry” obviously isn’t good enough.
Yum Yucky´s last blog ..Italian Sub Slays Innocent Woman
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 am
Wow. Sounds painful. Curiousty may seem stupid.. but I am sure some type of lesson was gained. As for me, I can’t remember any stories..I am sure there are plenty. Being the bigger sister, I do remember stories of when my little sisters were curious about the taste of marbles, playdough, and all things not meant to be eaten as a snack. Hahaha. Nice post.
Detox Recipes´s last blog ..Detox, Diet and Colon Cleansing for Health, Weight Loss
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:48 am
OUCH! Seriously, I contented myself with watching my brother do stupid things. That is, until I hit 16 and spent my car money on a horse. It’s a wonder I’m not dead.
Kim´s last blog ..Bill the Plumber – My New Hero
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:44 am
My brother’s curiosity regarding the 12V cigarette lighter in the back seat of my grandmother’s car in probably 1978 just might equal the battle with the 200 pound door. Maybe it is why children really need supervision, huh?
He ended up scorching his thumb and let us know that it really was hot…and that you COULDN’T touch it without getting burned.
morethananelectrician´s last blog ..The Nicest Smelling House in Town
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Oh yikes Kathy! Well, at least you were smart enough to be close to medical help; which I think you should always be.
Have you ever thought about working in a hospital? Could save you on long trips to the ER…
Maureen´s last blog ..Up On the Roof
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:08 pm
When I read this, immediately, my stupid moment came to mind! While riding my frieds 10-speed, (I didn’t have one yet), I was fascinated by the wheels going round and round, and that it had more spokes than my bike. So fascinated by the spokes, I stuck my foot in the spokes of the front tire, while it was moving.
The result? Me, on the ground, flat on my back. That bike flipped over with me on it. I was 12!
LaTonya´s last blog ..Going My Way?
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:38 pm
I have a stupid moment of my cat (which includes mine as well):
I bought my sister a candle, and as she lit it, she told me to watch that our cat won’t get near. I told her that there’s no need, cats have instincts, they know what fire is, and therefore, he won’t get near.
My stupid cat saw the fire, and was so enthusiastic he immediately pushed his nose into it! His mustache got caught with fire and wax got all over his fur… Silly cat… But at least, I can say to his credit, that he doesn’t get near fire ever since.
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:36 pm
This post is brilliant because I think every single child has at one time or another tried something like this.
Me?
(and you’re not going to believe this)
One time while I was sitting in the back seat of my fathers car (my whole family was driving somewhere) I was bored, so I decided to see what it would feel like if I stuck my TONGUE inside a HOT cigarette lighter. OMG…the second my tongue touched the red coils, I SCREAMED at the top of my lungs and my father SLAMMED on the car breaks and yelled, “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED???”
Need I tell you how much fun it was to sleep with my tongue hanging out of my mouth, because it was burnt to a crisp!
I was such a curious little child.
Is no wonder I LOVE cats!
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:43 pm
puglette — See?! You did think of something stupid! Strike that. Let’s call it “unfortunate.” Ow!!
Jeff — Ugh. More blood. Sliced wrist… feeling week… *thud*.
Gaston — Man, do you know how lucky you are that you still have that finger? I’m guessing you do.
Jen — Ha! That sounds like something straight out of the Three Stooges. Well, I hope at least you picked a pretty color. What color did you want your eyes to be anyway?
Maureen Vellucci — There we go with the smashed fingers and flying again. I’m feeling much better about my own stupidity. Just sayin’.
Cromely — I miss the days of renting, for that reason alone. Calling the landlord. “Not my problem.” Given your prior history, maybe it’s better that way anyway?
Yum Yucky — Hey, I’d probably bitch too. I do not recall having my leg smashed in anything, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen. Remind me to never ride in a car with you.
Detox Recipes — Yeah, and thousands upon thousands of other little kids wondering what things taste like. Marbles. Good one.
Kim — See! That’s why I never could ride a horse. Cuz I’m picturing a one ton animal on top of me and me never getting up.
morethananelectrician — I give points to your brother for proving a theory that probably everyone else already knew. Eeeee-ouch!
Maureen — Yes, I should work in a hospital. Then I can schedule all my mishaps accordingly.
LaTonya — Awesome. And holy hell. Ouch.
???? — I’ve always thought the same thing about cats and open flame. Thank you for educating me otherwise. Good lesson learned.
Ron — Jeebus, man!!!! OMG. The pain. I cannot imagine. You stay away from hot stoves now, don’t you? Please Ron. You need your tongue!
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:01 pm
That’s not so dumb. It’s far less intelligent to take a semi open door and trying to open it up even wider by slipping your hand on the hinged side instead of the side with the knob. The mind may think you only have to spin the door at a smaller angle, much like the concept of being the Rockette in the middle instead of the one way out on the end who has to run or take really big steps to make the line of spinning Rockettes look symmetrical and not look like a wilted noodle.
Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..As the Fridge Turns
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I can’t tell you my stupidest moment- it was that bad. Once I stuck my foot in the spokes of my Dad’s bike and flipped us both, but that was just an accident.
Michelle Gartner´s last blog ..Guest Wife (1945) Starring Claudette Colbert
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:56 pm
For some reason, I once decided throwing a lawn dart at my little brother would be a funny way to get his attention–it did, but it could’ve killed him.
muskrat´s last blog ..things of which i am not a fan: god’s use of irony
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Nearly choked to death on a toothbrush. Doing, naturally, exactly what my mother always told me not to do – horsing around with a toothbrush in my mouth.
For what it’s worth I don’t do that anymore.
tattytiara´s last blog ..Heeeeeeeeere titletitletitletitletitle!
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Ladybuggz! I did the same thing, but with an old Kenwood mixmaster. I was at a friends school for the day and they were making ‘window biscuits’. I was tasked with putting in the butter, and had the top half of my hair back but not the bottom, so a chunk about the size of a child’s fist caught in the two beaters, and the entire machine continued to gobble up my hair. There I stood with this monster of a mixmaster eating up my hair, coming awfully close to my head, when someone FINALLY acted and took the plug out of the socket. I was concussed and had a bald patch for quite a while, and that bit of hair has an extra curl to it! ^-^
I’ve also dropped a garden fork through my foot, fallen out of a pram and had six stitches in the back of my head, fallen over and ground my knee to the bone, and overreacted to falling over on dirty rocky ground so badly that I went into shock, passed out, and stopped breathing for a shot time. ^-^ Do I bottle things up or what!
Elisha´s last blog ..So much spam still
November 24th, 2009 at 2:47 am
The thing that comes to mind involves what I did to my Brother, 4 years younger. I was probably abut 8 years old, so he was a mere 4.
My dad had got some red hot chilis and had them hanging up by the stems taped to a rope tied to rafters in the Patio Roof. One rope was slung low enough for me to reach it.
My brother must have been hounding me for about 4 days as to what those red shiny things were hanging out in the patio. Why he was asking me I have no Idea, But after about the 20th time, I figured I’d answer him.
“They are strawberries.”
He answered “Can I have One?”
“I don’t know …” Knowing full well his mouth was going to be blazing if he bit into one of those bad boys.
“C’mon. Get me one.”
“Ok …”
I don’t really remember the punishment I received after the screaming died down somewhat, but I don’t think I was able to sit for a couple of days afterwards.
Muskrat and I loved our Brothers.
Beamer´s last blog ..Breaking Tradition …
November 24th, 2009 at 6:47 am
Oh I’m very fastidious about color coordinating; it was brown paint on brown eyes, of course!
Jen´s last blog ..American Horse Council: Welfare Code of Practice
November 24th, 2009 at 8:28 am
I was in kindergarden and my brother Jeff was a bright little baby, still crawling around. For some reason, my mom had left the unplugged iron on the floor next to the TV. Apparently I was the only one who noticed Jeff had plugged it into the wall outlet, and was ironing the carpet. This seemed strange to me, but because my Mom didn’t seem the least bit concerned, I naturally assumed the iron must be broken. To test my theory, I placed the palm of my hand on the face of the iron. Theory proven wrong.
November 24th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Ummm, you’re not the only one silly enough to put their fingers into the crack of the door frame. My brother and I were playing in the hall closet once and I stuck my fingers into the crack of the door as he closed it – not the crack by the handle, the other side…where you can’t reach the handle to open the door again. And then when I started screaming and crying I had to listen to him telling me not to be such a big baby (he thought I was afraid of the dark.) I think we both got a spanking for that escapade, even though it darn near cut my finger clean off! Then there was the time I wanted to help mommy iron and I smoothed the hankie just like she did…and bumped my hand into the iron, knocking it over onto the back of my right hand and I couldn’t pick the iron up with my left hand to get it off. And then there was the time I was jumping from twin bed to twin bed in the bedroom (when we were supposed to be taking a nap) and I missed and fell and hurt my arm. I got to wear a sling – I remember watching Lassie that night eating off TV trays in the living room. Why do we remember things like this?! Geez how did I ever survive my childhood?!
Brenda @ Split Rock Ranch´s last blog ..We Sold Two Llamas Yesterday
November 24th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Ok lets see here … There is that time when i stuck a coat hanger into a outlet (age 6-7) Then there was the time i ate 1/2 a bottle of children s aspirin thinking they were candy (age 7-8) My one and only stumic pumping ensued…
Then there was the time i fell off one of our dogs dog houses and scraped a big chunk of flesh off my rear end (had a metal roof ..Age 11-12) that had me sleeping on my belly for a few weeks.
Then there was the time all the kids (about 6 of us) made potato cannons and decided to shoot at each other with them….. That didn’t end well.. (age 13-14)
Then there was the time i decided to play around with modal rocket engines and burned the living crap out of my hands (think Q-Tips for 2 months)Age 15.. That was definitly the worst i have done to myself .. my hands never did heal completely right from that.
And to point out that i still didn’t learn anything as i got older at age 20 i was cutting something over my head with a knife (a plastic tie) and relized that if it cut suddenly it would cut my index finger so i moved that finger but left my middle finger in the way… Hello 7 stitches.
Not 3 years later im prying something open with my big bowey knife and sink 2in of it into said index finger nearly severing the tendons etc…
Born and raised on a farm and still make stupid mistakes at age 34+
November 24th, 2009 at 10:57 am
My middle son was checking out a rotating sign at a museum. It had triangle pieces that hung down. It looked like a billboard, but then the triangles would rotate, showing another picture. Then rotate again, showing the third picture. Fingers and objects that are closing – yes, very very tempting. I heard him scream from across the room. His finger was STUCK. CRUSHED. BLOODY. He is one of those kids where you tell him, “Don’t touch that, it is hot.” and he will go, “Oh, really?” and test it for himself.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Im sorry but the phrase ” little Kathy Simpleton” cracked me up. And at least you were smart enough to do it IN the doctors office!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..I Could…
November 24th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Son #2 came over to visit one day, sat down at the kitchen table, and picked up the electric grass cutting shears we had sitting there to recharge. He put his fingers in between the blades and said, is this thing sharp, while he hit the button to turn it on. I can still remember sitting there with the look of horror on my face as he cut 3 fingers to the bone. Now you know why I lovingly refer to him as asshole #2. No wonder I have a heart condition.
Spicybugz´s last blog ..Happy Thanksgiving
November 24th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Chris — That’s exactly what I did. Not sure if I made it clear enough that I stuck my finger on the hinge side (not the door knob side). I love that you came up with that Rockette analogy. Your brain is working!
Michelle Gartner — Awesome. That makes TWO for the “hey, what will happen if I stick my foot in here?” accident.
muskrat — Holy sh*t. Yes, could have been killed. Does he remind you of that constantly? If not, he should.
tattytiara — Obviously, you’ve grown up. I’m guessing you don’t do that with lollipops either.
Elisha — So it sounds like it really does permanently mess up your hair! Interesting. Painful, but interesting. And, yes, you bottled things up real good. Please tell me you’re better now.
Beamer — You are one sick pup, just like Muskrat.
Jen — A paint fashionista!
rick — I don’t know why I love this story so much. I shouldn’t. I can just imagine little Jeff ironing the carpet. I can also imagine the pain that shot through your hand. I’m so sorry.
Brenda — Yea! Another stupid finger sticker! And I’m sorry to be laughing at your escapades. It is indeed weird how we remember all these things. I suppose it’s to keep us from being dumb adults.
Dave — Aieeee! A stomach pumping?!?! Good grief! As for the rest, I think you need a guardian or something. I’m seriously afraid you won’t make it to the end of your life with all your digits. Dave, be careful!
Katherine — So I’m not the only one then! It’s hard to believe I’ve never seriously burned myself because I was mesmerized by bright glowing hot objects.
meleah rebeccah — And I think it’s safe to say sometimes I’m still Little Kathy Simpleton.
Spicybuggz — Oh my heavenly God. I don’t know if I can read any more of these stories without an icepack on my head to keep me from fainting. Hang in there. Is son older and wiser now? Please say yes.
November 24th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
HAHA kathy thanks and i love your blog..
And to add to my little list there was the time i slammed my leg into the front of my car on the license plate and opened a 7in gash in my leg.. (had a exposed temporary bolt holding the license plate on) aside from my finger i have never had stitches. Duct tape and superglue ftw
Oh and about a year ago i broke my little toe stepping on something.. only time i have ever broken a bone in my life. Considering some of the stupid things ive done that is amazing. (like jumping off the side of small cliffs, falling out of trees, falling out of the hay loft, having a 200lb bail of hay fall on me etc etc etc)
And for those who are wondering i was born and raised on the west coast.. Not in the south
November 25th, 2009 at 6:46 am
Ouch! I can picture the entire scene
Never got my finger crushed by a door, however I did pretend to be a tough guy once on the stairs at home… that ended in me rolling down the stairs. Not a pretty sight.
November 25th, 2009 at 7:14 am
Much better now! When I hurt myself now, I just cry like a little girl and ask my fiancé to kiss it better. ^-^
And I don’t use electric beaters, but if I did, I’d SO tie my hair up, in a bun! @_@
Elisha´s last blog ..So much spam still
November 25th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Happy Thanksgiving! Thanks for visiting my blog!
MA Fat Woman´s last blog ..Cleo, Mister and Sissy…Part III
November 25th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Oh…I’m afraid those moments are too many to list here. Usually a cast or some sort of gauze pad was required by the end. I will have to post that soon, and link back to you. I’ve been “MIA” for the most part lately. Good to see you’re still making many giggle.
Grandy´s last blog ..That’s What She Said
November 25th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
7 times I chipped or knocked out my teeth. Never a broken bone or anything else; except for that one time I left the finger in the crosshairs of a 85 Olds Wagon. This blog reminded me of that time and to schedule a dentist appointment to check my vaneers.
Waltsense´s last blog ..Cold Injustice in the Workplace!
November 25th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Sometimes kids just have to learn the hard way. I’m sure you got smarter after the incident unless you did it again later in life.
As a kid, I loved to pop balloons to see what was inside. I smashed my fingers…(note: fingers, not finger), in a drawer because I was curious if it would hurt. I played with pepper and Vicks on my hair. Those were not good days. What can I say, I was bored.
AVCr8teur´s last blog ..A Little Snow Adventure
November 25th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Kids always to stupid stuff. All the time. Your not moronic unless something like this happens after the age of 14.
I myself at the age of 9, for no particular reason, threw a rock at a shiny brand new car. Boy oh boy were my parents pleased about that..
November 25th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
He didn’t toot bubbles. He threw up. That was much worse. I felt horrible (and he was six years younger so you know I knew better).
Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..For Aisha: What about Marko?
November 25th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
It would be difficult to select one from my many not-well-thought-out events!!!!
Sherry @ EX Marks the Spot´s last blog ..WW: Football and Musings from the News
November 25th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Ouch Kathy – I felt that. But like you say, at least you did it at the doctor’s surgery.
I did lots of silly things out of curiosity. One was attempting to take an old radio battery to bits – I wound up with battery acid in my eyes. But I just rinsed a lot – I was too afraid to tell anyone what I’d done incase they confiscated my radio.
November 26th, 2009 at 1:25 am
I was 9 years old playing with my cousins upstairs at their house. For some crazy reason, we thought it would be great fun to slide on the linoleum in our socks. The linoleum didn’t go all the way to the wall. There was about a foot of bare wood around the edge. We got that floor pretty shined up and kept sliding farther. I managed to slide right off the edge and crashed into the wall. But that’s not the injury that really hurt. I had a huge sliver of wood stuck in the bottom of my foot, right in the middle of my arch. While I screamed, Mom dug out about 1/4 inch of the sliver. It was between 1/8th and 1/4th inch square. She knew she didn’t get it all out and the next day I had a red line creeping up my leg. Off to the doctor who prescribed soaking my foot in Epsom Salts. And when I didn’t have my foot in a bucket, I had a towel soaked with Epsom Salts wrapped around my foot and in a plastic bag. I totally missed all the fun during our family vacation at Grandma’s house. Eventually, Mom put some yucky, stinky black drawing salve on my foot and the remaining inch of sliver came out in just a few hours. I had severe pain when I tried to run or walk a long distance for years after that. But it’s all better now. I can’t even remember for sure which foot it was. And it’s only been about 49 or 50 years since it happened.
I feel sorry for your finger. I managed to get one stuck in a car door once. Not a fun thing.
Clara´s last blog ..Today I Am Thankful For…
November 29th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Alright Kathy…I posted one of my earlier moments (among so many). Thanks for the inspriation. LOL!!
Grandy´s last blog ..Grandy’s Early Signs of Stupid Things
December 7th, 2009 at 5:23 am
It had probably been there for years before we lived there as we are often shoeless in the house and clean up anything like like our lives, or at least our feet depend on it. Anyway, some little voice in there two year old brain told them to put the glass up their nose. thanks…
sell your condo´s last blog ..Top 3 reasons to buy a condo
December 7th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Because I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains and because my blog started off being of photos of the surrounding Blue Ridge area it only seemed right that it should have the name The Blue Ridge Gal.. BUT, if we were ever to move out of this area of the country I would certainly choose a new name appropriate to that area.
Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
Just Vignettes
Di´s last blog ..A Christmas Card ‘Tail’
December 11th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Dave — So you’re saying if a doctor pulled out a roll of duct tape, I shouldn’t worry? I can just imagine how much the little broken toe hurt It’s always the smallest broken body parts that hurt like an SOB.
TurnItUp — Oh, the stairs. Read my latest post. I’m no fan of steps these days.
Elisha — Aw, that’s cute! I have long hair now. No beater shall come near it.
MA Fat Woman — I’m a little late responding on this post, but I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I did!
Grandy — What a horrible story you posted. I’m so sorry about your face.
Waltsense — So you only have a teeth problem? You’re lucky in a way. Those you can replace.
AVCr8teur — Oh, yes. I don’t go sticking my digits where they don’t belong. “to see if it would hurt.” See, that’s why kids are dumber than doorknobs. Awesome. Boredom is the enemy of many.
Kaja — Holy crap! OMG. Bad news. Bad news. I’m sure the owners were so understanding of your 9 year old idiocy.
Stephanie Barr — Gross. Bubbles would have been so much more fun. And cleaner.
Sherry — And so you leave us hanging???
Cath Lawson — OMG!!! Battery acid?! Do you know how lucky you are that you can see???
Clara — God, I don’t know how much more of these stories I can take. I’m in pain just reading them. The splinter had to be bad enough, but your treatment sounds utterly medieval!
sell your condo — I still can’t believe your story. My God.
Di — I’ve heard how beautiful the Blue Ridge is. The photography on your blog is awesome, by the way.
January 28th, 2010 at 6:38 am
My friends son saw a Spiderman jumping from one roof to other and though he could try the same. He just jumped from his balcony shouting “Spiderman is Great” and broke his limbs.