Boys Will Be Boys and Sometimes Colossal Jerks
Childhood January 20th, 2010
My last post about a childhood embarrassment got me thinking about how dreadful grade school and high school can be. Girls had it bad, but I think sometimes boys had it worse.
I rode a school bus to high school with about thirty other kids. At the start of every school year, senior boys took it upon themselves to haze the freshman boys by making them prove their physical capabilities.
The hazing went like this:
When our school bus was on approach to our bus stop, all of the freshman victims were told to get off the bus about four blocks ahead. Their challenge was to run as fast as they could to the bus stop and if they beat the bus there, they were rewarded by not getting the crap kicked out of them by the senior boys.
Nice, huh?
You might ask why the bus driver, a woman, would even let those poor souls off the bus ahead of time, since that wasn’t an assigned drop off point.
When everyone heard murmurings that the hazing was about to take place, we’d yell up to the front of the bus and beg the driver not to let them off.
But she did.
I wonder if today she regrets it. She should. She knew why the senior boys were demanding it.
But one thing she did do was drive the bus as slow as possible to the stop so the freshman had some chance of making it back before she did.
I don’t remember anything about the boys who didn’t make it in time. I’m certain I rushed off the bus and high-tailed it out of there. After all, if the seniors treated boys that way, what might they do to humiliate the girls?
My fleeing the scene was an act of self-preservation.
To this day, I imagine the horror-filled days of the freshman boys. How must they have survived the hours at school, knowing that at any time on the bus ride from hell they’d have to prove their worth to some jackasses who held such power over them?
I only hope that today, something like that would never happen. I hope if it did, the bus driver would be fired. The senior boys would get detention. And the freshman boys would be saved.
Hope.
Stumble it!






January 20th, 2010 at 7:24 am
Well as far as I know nothing like this happens in my school.
Without someone getting a detention.
But I do feel like our detention/suspension system is weird. For example, you get 3 days out of school suspension for profanity.
And maybe one day in school suspension for hitting someone.
January 20th, 2010 at 8:06 am
Wow… there is no way in heck this could happen nowadays. I do believe the driver would be fired!
Although there is one school bus driver I would love to see fired. The crazy lady who nearly ran into me with a bus load of kids. Geesh; just because she was driving a school bus does NOT give her the right of way to cut right into the middle of traffic! I had to slam on my brakes and missed her by inches. Poor kiddos.
.-= Maureen´s last blog ..Set The Wayback Machine to 1975 Sherman =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 8:28 am
I don’t even put my school abuse experiences on my blog because they aren’t funny. Suffice it to say that as a camp counselor I employed a ‘Less Than Zero’ Tolerance policy toward kids who picked on other kids and they frequently found themselves repaid sevenfold for the ugliness they perpetrated on others.
I can think up some amazing punishments.
.-= Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog ..Mountain Medicine =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 8:31 am
Wow, what a mean bus driver! At my high school, they used to chase after the freshmen boys and put them in those big rubber trash cans. High School is not a very fun time.
.-= Daisy’s mom´s last blog ..Wordless, Whiskery Wednesday =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 8:43 am
Now, that is one big mean Bus Driver. Well, High School days were really scary. I changed two schools in High School. So you can expect more from each one of them…:)
Have a good day!
.-= Mr. Stupid´s last blog ..The Sheet Incident =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 8:49 am
That kind of thing always sends chills up my spine. I agree, it should never be allowed or tolerated. Thank goodness, I was able to take my kids to school … I knew of the possibility of bad stuff happening.
.-= vickie´s last blog ..Lovey Dovey Frames =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 8:55 am
Oh WOW- yes, I can’t believe the bus driver was complicit with that!
Our initiation for boys seemed to have something to do with climbing the rope to the top in gym class. I still see one of my best friends there– a boy– trying to get up to the top lest he be mocked for all infinity.
January 20th, 2010 at 9:25 am
I don’t think that would be tolerated in most places today and, if it were, contacting local media would likely get the attention of any school or school board that won’t listen to complaints from parents. However, if the parents never hear about it or aren’t willing to complain, no one will hear about it.
.-= Mike Goad´s last blog ..Going against the flow =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 9:25 am
Oh my gosh, that’s terrible! What in the world was that bus driver thinking? She must have either not had any children of her own, or if she did they must have also been bullies like the senior boys on her bus. I had a bus driver in high school who would always stop the bus if a fight broke out onboard and pull over. He’d make them get off the bus to finish their fight (he made zero attempt to stop the fight), and then put them back on the bus when they were done and rode us on our merry way back to school where he would write up the fighters. I guess that’s one way to handle it.
.-= Surfie´s last blog ..School Memories: The Kindergarten Years* (Part II) =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 9:27 am
The bus driver may have actually prevented more hazing. By dropping them off and going slowly she might have actually saved them from something worse. If the seniors were as bad as you say they would have gotten to the freshmen if the bus driver refused to play along. This way the senior boys would have to leave the kids alone since they won the race.
How many of those freshmen boys turned around when they were seniors and did the same thing to freshmen?
.-= Jen´s last blog ..What The Hell Was I Thinking =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 9:36 am
Well if news reports are any indication hazing and bullying is still alive and well in grade schools, middle schools and high schools. Of course nowadays it is far more sophisticated and far more violent. Your fellow schoolmates are probably thanking their lucky stars they grew up in a kinder gentler time.
.-= Grace´s last blog ..Frozen Falling Lizards =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 10:30 am
You would not believe the stuff that happened on my one way 45 minute commute to and from school. I KNOW it wouldn’t be tolerated these days!
January 20th, 2010 at 10:47 am
Why would seniors ride the bus? I’m not sure any seniors or juniors in my high school rode the bus. They had cars. However, I went to a high school that was pretty upper middle class.
While reading this, I just kept thinking about how those seniors were treated at school. They might have been the ones picked on by the rest of their class and they’re taking it out on the freshmen.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m NOT supporting the acts of the seniors or the bus driver. I’m just trying to understand this horrible act.
.-= Sean´s last blog ..photo =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 10:54 am
I have to say that when I was in high school and elementary school, all the hazing went on on the bus….like SuziCate mentioned. Our bus ride was about the same amount of time, plenty of time for the bus driver to ignore what ever was going on in the back.
.-= Unfinished Rambler´s last blog ..Republicans may sell Scott Brown to Democrats…you heard it here first! =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 11:02 am
Wow…that was awful. I walked to school so I had no idea what went on on our buses. I’m surprised that bus driver would let the freshmen off the bus, but who knows what the cowardly seniors may have threatened her with. Still, she should’ve turned their butts in…
.-= earthtoholly´s last blog ..Alexandria City Dock =-.
January 20th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
I agree…I sometimes think boys have it worse.
Gosh, I could tell you some stories that would make your hair straighten. For me, my school years were very trying.
There’s this “showmanship pressure” that boys have to endure. But, I also think girls have their own “pressures.”
I don’t know, but hopefully if this kinda thing happened today, the bus driver would be fired.
Great post, Kath!
January 20th, 2010 at 12:45 pm
There was nothing like that at our school but in a lot of the private boarding schools, far more serious ‘initiations’ were used. Quite evil stuff. There was a pecking order and the newbies had the worst time of all. They had to service the older boys and were punished if they didn’t do it well. All of this was considered ‘part of school life’ and ignored by the powers to be. Bullying at it’s worst.
January 20th, 2010 at 12:50 pm
In my experience, at least, school bus rides existed purely to provide the bullies with a captive audience. I hope that the anti-bullying policies that schools are enacting these days are helping to eliminate this kind of stuff. I agree with Ron, above, that “my school years were very trying.”
January 20th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
oh man, this story brings me back to my school days. I got hazed pretty hard when I was a freshman. Nothing serious, but one time during gym class, the seniors made me push a nickel back-and-forth on the gym floor the entire hour. The coach just laughed the whole time at me while I was doing it.
All-in-all.. it wasn’t a big deal, and I was part of their “in crowd” afterwards, but I don’t think the schools would allow anything like this nowadays.
January 20th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
High school sucked. The publicist transferred into a 7th grade public school after 6 years of Catholic school. She had the misfortune of being chubby and wearing glasses. And being smart.
It.Was.Not.Good.
January 20th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Until now bullying can still be seen at schools all over our country, If you’ve watch Oprah there is this episode about school bullies and she invited those kids from school, its just seeing those kids being abuse in some manner.
January 20th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
I would also wonder what those boys were like today (both the senior bullies AND the hazed freshman)
I don’t think kindly about bullies. I think death penalty thoughts when I think of bullies. Bullies are merely terrorists in sheep’s clothing.
January 20th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
Regan — I agree. Your detention system is messed up and backwards. Hitting deserves more time in the slammer than profanity.
Maureen — I’ve seen a couple of those crazy bus drivers myself. I don’t trust them anymore. And I can see the kids bouncing around inside like bingo balls. They still don’t have seat belts on buses, do they?
Shieldmaiden — Yes, but you could blog about your amazing punishments. Those would be very entertaining to read.
Daisy’s mom — No, high school is not very fun unless you’re one of the few very popular kids who no one throws in a trash can. Good grief.
Mr. Stupid — I’m sorry you had to change schools. That must have been a trying time for you. I always felt glad I never had to start anew anywhere else. It’s stressful enough without having to make all new friends.
vickie — I’m pretty sure this would never happen now. As it was, it was 25 years ago. Glad your kids didn’t have to tolerate the terrors of riding on the bus. They’re lucky!
Jenn of Many Cabbages — Ugh. The rope in gym. All the while he probably got a wedgie, too, trying to get to the top. Poor thing.
MIke Goad — I was thinking the same thing. Somebody would probably videotape it on their phone and send it to the media. Back then, all there was to do was complain to the school about the driver, but I can guarantee the freshmen boys didn’t say a word for fear of repercussions.
Surfie — I never could figure out why she was complicit. Made no sense to me, and you would think a woman would really have a heart for those boys. You driver was a tad more commendable. At least he said something.
Jen — That is one way to look at it. And you’re right. Things could always be worse. At least she felt for them and gave them a fighting chance. And it’s really the seniors I have a beef with more than the driver. What is wrong with boys? I bet the freshmen did the same thing. I’m sure they looked at it as a rite of passage, no matter how stupid it was or how bad they felt when it was happening to them.
Grace — Yes, more violent, absolutely. I remember seeing horrible video of girls beating the crap out of other girls. What’s with these people? It’s disgusting and reprehensible.
SuziCate — I guess we can be glad it probably wouldn’t be tolerated now. At least I hope so.
Sean — Well, back then it was somewhat unusual for even seniors to have their own cars. I know what you mean about the seniors’ motivation. I’m sure they were picked on too, and were just passing on the “tradition.” It’s a sad state of affairs.
Unfinished Rambler — I think some buses might have video cameras now because the driver can’t possibly monitor and discipline 20+ students behind their seat. I hope they do and it acts as a deterrent. One can hope.
earthtoholly — I walked to grade school, which was great. But I did have to be bussed in high school. Luckily this was the worst of it. Mostly I was just trying to get my homework done on the ride in! It would have been so easy for the driver to tell the school about it. Or, gee. Maybe NOT stopping 4 blocks ahead. After all, she’s the one in control of the damn bus!
Ron — I’m sorry about your school. But be comforted in the knowledge that 90% of other students were going through the same hell. You (and I) just never knew it at the time. And oh, yeah. We girls did have pressures, all revolving around popularity, looks and weight. I don’t miss those days at all.
Babs Beetle — I’m sorry to hear that. I wonder how many of those kids are scarred all these years later. Kids don’t forget! Look at all the times I’ve written about my childhood embarrassments. Yes, I can laugh about most things now, but only because it’s a survival mechanism. If I held onto the hurt to this stage in my life, I’d never be able to function.
absepa — I hope so too. I can’t imagine any of this would be tolerated by any driver. In fact, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want to hear a peep out of any kid for the entire drive, much less be a willing party to the bullying kids’ actions.
Ed — That’s horrible. I’m sorry. You’re right, it wouldn’t be allowed. Parents and students would riot.
Pricilla — Same here (although not a brainiac, necessarily). I laugh now because I wasn’t all that overweight, but some other girls made me feel that way and it weighed heavily on me (no pun intended).
Julie of Texas Divorce Farms– The more we talk about it and bring it to light, perhaps the less it will happen. Good for Oprah for bringing it to light.
Nanny Goats — I wonder, too. I do have some followers in Facebook who were high school classmates, but none of them rode my bus. I would actually like to hear from some of them to see how they remember the experience. Bullies are indeed terrorists. No doubt about it.
January 20th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
I have never liked buses or bus drivers. I might be surpressing the memories but I know I don’t like them…
January 20th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
My son was bullied since the 3rd grade and it was tolerated by his then teacher. It continued and pretty much just died down last year (he’s a senior). It was amazing that in today’s world, how many adults chose to look the other way not wanting to get involved. It DOES continue today, Maureen, laws or no laws about bullying.
January 20th, 2010 at 7:41 pm
Hmmm- I don’t really remember riding the bus too much, but what I do remember of it is was a scary experience in my Freshman year. It was kind of like Lord of the Flies…
Prior to that I did not ride the bus, and after my freshman year I took public transportation to school.
January 20th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
When I was in school the biggest kids would use the smallest kids to throw @ the middle sized kids over the bus seats. You think I’m kidding? Usually it was a totally obnoxious little kid though and they really just sort of pushed him over a couple seats @ someone else. Sort of…..
Now my grandkids don’t ride the bus because of their parents experiences on the bus.
January 20th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
I never got hazed by older kids. I was always bigger and stronger than them.
January 20th, 2010 at 11:17 pm
I grew up in a little bitty town and we didn’t have any of that that I remember because it took about 10 minutes for anything to get from one end of town to the other.
January 21st, 2010 at 12:00 am
I always had problems with kids taking stuff out of my bag, or setting my hair on fire or flicking my ears. My son now hates riding the bus. It is almost as bad as a locker room.
January 21st, 2010 at 12:03 am
“My fleeing the scene was an act of self-preservation.”
Yeah, and a wise decision.
January 21st, 2010 at 5:22 am
By high school, these types of things didn’t happen in my school. At least the bus driver poked along but it does seem strange she went along with it.
January 21st, 2010 at 5:49 am
I was lucky in high school, I didn’t have to ride the bus. We all walked to school. I know, I know, whoever heard of walking to school. Well we actually did that. I am sure there must have been a reason that bus driver let those freshman out. But if that happened these days, I am sure the driver would be fired for many reasons. Good subject.
January 21st, 2010 at 6:44 am
Usually it amounts to someone’s parents marching down to the school and demanding something be done. The problem is the kids are often ashamed or afraid to get their parents involved and won’t tell.
January 21st, 2010 at 9:01 am
I have some weird memories of school bus drivers too. I’m rather certain that one of my bus drivers was a pedophile.
January 21st, 2010 at 9:08 am
I “think” that in today’s world…most seniors do not ride the bus anymore. They have cars…or ride with another kid who has a car.
January 21st, 2010 at 11:16 am
That’s just horrid. I don’t think this kind of bullying could happen today – at least I hope so – but other, more subtle forms, are very much there
.-= Anne – Israeli Mom´s last blog ..Driving in Israel =-.
January 21st, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Thanks for the memory. Even in home school today, we have bullies. We take our son to a home school gym class at the local rec center. There’s about three bullies in there. It seems something one can’t get away from.
.-= Brian H.´s last blog ..Carnival Cruise Lines to Return to Europe in 2011 =-.
January 21st, 2010 at 9:05 pm
I’m amazed that the bus driver played along with this hazing. Did she think it was just good, clean fun? I’m always amazed and disgusted when “adults” condone, or at least look the other way for this sort of shenanigans.
.-= Buggys´s last blog ..Romantic Cruise =-.
January 21st, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Incredibly sad story Kath. I can’t relate though because I lived “too close” to take the bus. Yes, I live 9/10 of a mile away and you had to live over a mile, so I had to walk every day. Uphill. Both ways.
I know that’s a tired punchline, but in my case it’s true. I literally had to walk up a huge hill and down the other side to get to school. That meant both ways.
.-= Jeff´s last blog ..10 Rejected Blog Post Ideas =-.
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:07 am
Crazy old orientation days. True that the freshmen will suffer but they will have their payback haha
January 22nd, 2010 at 7:49 am
You will never know how bad I hated high school! Now, my 25th reunion is coming up (we never had any yet) and I am still contemplating whether I should go or not
.-= Lisa – Alterity´s last blog ..Custom Order… =-.
January 22nd, 2010 at 10:46 am
Oh the days of hazing. Does anyone remember freshman ball in the hallways played by the Senior boys??? This Ozarks would not go back to the good old day for anything!
Ya’ll have yourselves a wonderfully blessed day from the hills and hollers of the Missouri Ponderosa!!!
.-= Nezzy´s last blog ..KNOCK THREE TIMES =-.
January 22nd, 2010 at 11:06 am
That bus driver was not very nice. She should have been fired!! Mom’s high school was brand new so they were pretty easy on the freshman. She had to wear a sign for a week that said “To be specific, seniors are Terrific” Funny how she remembers that a squillion years later.
Sniffie and the Florida Furkids
.-= Sniffie and the Florida Furkids´s last blog ..National Answer your Cat’s Question Day! =-.
January 22nd, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Found you! In my state, the bus driver would be fired.
January 23rd, 2010 at 6:19 am
Lizzy — I’ve been on a bus maybe three times since I graduated. I don’t need to relive any of that.
Lin — That’s so sad, Lin. I’m afraid it’s because of that “Well, I was bullied and survived” mentality. It doesn’t make it right.
Michelle — I didn’t like it either, but being a girl, I was spared. All my hell happened at school anyway.
tcc — Good grief, that’s bad! I always felt bad for the lightweight kids. They really don’t stand a chance unless they get in with a good crowd who’ll protect them.
John J Savo — You’re one of the lucky ones.
grannyann — So happy to hear that after reading so many sad comments.
JP — Ugh. Sorry. I hated the locker room, even for a girl it was a stressful situation.
meleah rebeccah — Gotta do what you gotta do.
Karen — You’re lucky. And, yes, I feel like at least she made a bad situation a little better. But she could have stopped the whole thing before it started. I mean, who’s the adult here?
Marg — I walked to grade school and loved it. Yeah, I think that the first time a parent caught wind of the hazing, that would be the end of it.
Data Entry Lady — Yes, that’s the problem. Nothing would get done unless a kid spoke up, and then who wants to speak up because then they’d get beat up more! No-win situation.
Diane — Oh, God, I hope not.
Linda — But there’s still probably a pecking order of some type. The older kids always pick on the younger.
Anne Israeli mom — Absolutely. And I don’t even want to know what they are.
Brian H — Unfortunately not. It’s a stupid rite of passage, I suppose.
Buggys — I was always amazed, too. If I was an adult when it happened, things would be different. I wish I could turn back time and change it.
Jeff — My dad has played that tired punchline his whole life. You are the first person I’ve met where it was actually true! So, yeah, you never got bullied on the bus, but then there’s that whole swimming naked thing. That pretty much trumps everything.
what to do — And that’s how the cycle continues….
Lisa Alterity — I’m one of those people who never had enough friends to care about seeing 25 years later. I went to my 5th and it was kind of “meh.” So I never went back. Go only if you really want to see your former classmates. Otherwise, go do something fun for yourself!
Nezzy — Do you mean they rolled the freshman down the hall? God, I hope not.
Sniffie and the Florida Furkids — Oh, see, now that sign is a cute idea. And no one gets hurt!
Ann — Good to see you here! Yeah, I think any driver who did that now would get the heave-ho.
January 23rd, 2010 at 8:11 am
That’s horrible about those poor freshmen! When we were little, the bus driver would kick everyone off the bus if we were acting up! Can you imagine any of that happening today? No way!!! Cameras on the bus and on phones and lawsuits….I could see it on 20/20 now!! Ahhhh, the good old days!
.-= Jen´s last blog ..A thank you from Curly =-.
January 23rd, 2010 at 9:26 am
That bus driver had a warped mind. Her job was to see the children safely home… not facilitate bullying.
.-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Bread: Theme Thursday =-.
January 24th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Jen — I’m not a big proponent of cameras everywhere, but in this case, they would certainly act as a deterrent and if someone acted up — film at 11!
CatLadyLarew — Absolutely. If you can’t count on an adult to help you, who can you count on?
January 25th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
I think both boys and girls can be equally cruel. The boys in my school had to worry about hazing in the form of physical altercations and verbal/emotional stuff. With the girls the physical aspect was much more rare.
February 2nd, 2010 at 6:00 pm
Saw your blog bookmarked on Delicious. I love your site and marketing strategy.
February 16th, 2010 at 12:29 am
In my opinion i believe that the children will be just fine. Initiation for freshmen has been something that has gone on for a really long time and everyone has pretty much survived. Of course there is the occasional mishap where things get out of hand but that happens in almost every situation in life. I was initiated/hazed as a freshmen and yes it was embarrassing but I along with my classmates survived and we did just fine. When we were Seniors we initiated the freshmen as well. Making some kids run a few blocks won’t hurt them. Nor did anything that my seniors made me do, nor did I or my classmates hurt any of our freshmen.
The bus driver was out of line. She is supposed to be an adult in the situation, but it is better that it happened like that rather than with out supervision. She obviously had dealt with the situation before and knew how it would end.
I think kids are babied way to much these days and that’s a huge part of our children not having any leadership qualities. No one is pushed, and as soon as someone does something they are punished. This generation is falling behind quickly.
May 11th, 2010 at 2:53 am
Well Such things happens for many of the Fresh guys and girls ! Its our moral responsibility to stop them from doing so. Its nice that you have put up that experience in this blog. Hope some people will stand against such issues .
.-= Akash´s last blog ..alexandra boys =-.