Words and Topics for the Lunchroom
Bizarre, work January 27th, 2010
I want to work where my sister Marlene works. Her co-workers are exactly the kind of crazies I need to be around 40 hours a week.
I received this list from her today. A list of words, phrases or topics that are either prohibited or encouraged in her lunch room at work.
Yes, they’re keeping a list. Do with it what you will.
Prohibited Words:
· pimple (includes “goose-pimple”)
· blackhead
· moist
Note: “Moist” is acceptable in reference to baked goods, chicken… i.e. things that are supposed to be moist. “Moist” is unacceptable in reference to anything gross. (Feet, fungus, basements, bathroom floors)
· E.V.O.O.
· Rock hard
· rebut
Note: The word “rebuttal”, as well as “flying buttress” are acceptable.
· genitals
Note: Words such as “bajango” and “hoo ha” are acceptable substitutions for the word “genitals”
· bequeath
· secrete
Topics:
· Food poisoning experiences
· Bug-eating experiences, accidental or intentional
· Gleeking experiences
· The Charmin bears
· The apocalypse
· Rachel Ray
· Any situation involving body fluids, especially when conversation is taking place in the presence of Louise.
Prohibited Smell Addendum: All citrus and banana scents will be kept a minimum of 10 feet from Marlene. Additionally, measures shall be taken to prevent wafting.
Encouraged Words and Topics for the Lunchroom
Words
· Smokin’ cookies
· Oh, snap!
· Delicious!
· Bodacious
· Giddyup
Topics
· What we are eating for lunch
· What we ate for dinner last night
· What we will eat for dinner tonight
· Foods we like / dislike
· Things we’ve seen on television
Note: Things we’ve seen on television that reference any of the prohibited words and topics are also prohibited.
—-
Feel free to add your own words you love or hate, or to question any number of these words or phrases. Marlene, feel free to provide explanations for any of them in the comments section.
Me thinks you’re going to have to explain why “rebut” is on the list. You don’t have to explain why Rachel Ray is. We all know she is the devil.
Stumble it!
January 30th, 2010 at 11:54 am
So I think this means their workplace is Rachel-Ray-Free.
That’s awesome.
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..Speak Up! =-.
January 30th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Your sister must totally be putting you on!!??
On the other hand, if you could hear the conversation that goes on where I work, you would go pale. I stay away from the group so I don’t have to hear it. So maybe rules are not so crazy… Yeah they are.
.-= Will´s last blog ..Think Beyond Organic to Ethical Milk =-.
February 2nd, 2010 at 11:31 am
Rachel Ray
I will suggest word petu to be added in the list…
what you say
February 4th, 2010 at 8:44 am
I’m curious what the dealio is with the Charmin bears. I kinda really sorta hate them. And I’m wondering if the bear ban is about loathing or just too many “do bears poop in the woods” jokes?
.-= Jenn of Many Cabbages´s last blog ..Second Childhood with Hoveround Commercial =-.
February 5th, 2010 at 3:13 am
That’s hilarious — There would be more harmony in workplaces if everyone negotiated these lists.
.-= TheWordWire´s last blog ..Superheroes Need Walking-Around Money Too =-.
February 10th, 2010 at 10:58 am
That really sounds fun! If my co-workers would be like that then I’d definitely get rid of boredom. Is “wootoot wootoot” an acceptable substition for genitals to that game you had? Hahaha!
May 11th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
Extra virgin olive oil? Why is that taboo?