Words and Topics for the Lunchroom
Bizarre, work January 27th, 2010
I want to work where my sister Marlene works. Her co-workers are exactly the kind of crazies I need to be around 40 hours a week.
I received this list from her today. A list of words, phrases or topics that are either prohibited or encouraged in her lunch room at work.
Yes, they’re keeping a list. Do with it what you will.
Prohibited Words:
· pimple (includes “goose-pimple”)
· blackhead
· moist
Note: “Moist” is acceptable in reference to baked goods, chicken… i.e. things that are supposed to be moist. “Moist” is unacceptable in reference to anything gross. (Feet, fungus, basements, bathroom floors)
· E.V.O.O.
· Rock hard
· rebut
Note: The word “rebuttal”, as well as “flying buttress” are acceptable.
· genitals
Note: Words such as “bajango” and “hoo ha” are acceptable substitutions for the word “genitals”
· bequeath
· secrete
Topics:
· Food poisoning experiences
· Bug-eating experiences, accidental or intentional
· Gleeking experiences
· The Charmin bears
· The apocalypse
· Rachel Ray
· Any situation involving body fluids, especially when conversation is taking place in the presence of Louise.
Prohibited Smell Addendum: All citrus and banana scents will be kept a minimum of 10 feet from Marlene. Additionally, measures shall be taken to prevent wafting.
Encouraged Words and Topics for the Lunchroom
Words
· Smokin’ cookies
· Oh, snap!
· Delicious!
· Bodacious
· Giddyup
Topics
· What we are eating for lunch
· What we ate for dinner last night
· What we will eat for dinner tonight
· Foods we like / dislike
· Things we’ve seen on television
Note: Things we’ve seen on television that reference any of the prohibited words and topics are also prohibited.
—-
Feel free to add your own words you love or hate, or to question any number of these words or phrases. Marlene, feel free to provide explanations for any of them in the comments section.
Me thinks you’re going to have to explain why “rebut” is on the list. You don’t have to explain why Rachel Ray is. We all know she is the devil.
Stumble it!
January 27th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
I had to find out what Gleeking was. Now I’m trying to make it happen on purpose. Seriously they have lists of topics?
It’s been a while since I worked in a real office but the one that always got me irritated was:
“I can’t speak to that”
How can Oh, snap be on the good list? That has to be one of the more annoying things people say, unless they happen to be Dr. House and then it’s okay.
Jen´s last blog ..Get to the Point
January 27th, 2010 at 8:38 pm
Jen, Oh snap is an acceptable word. Better that than “oh feces” or other euphemism. I googled EVOO and came up with Extra Virgin Olive Oil. What is wrong with that or did I get the wrong meaning?
January 27th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
But of course you wouldn’t be able to say EVOO… think about it: extra VIRGIN olive oil. Definitely a sexual reference!
So did Marlene make these things up or was it her cohorts?
CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..I Love You, Taco Bell…
January 27th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
Prohibited:
Old, but still a no-no: 2 Girls, 1 Cup. Seriously. Stay away.
oozing – as in, “What’s that oozing out of my eye?”
Ok topics:
Last night’s game
Tonight’s game
Tomorrow’s game
The Super Bowl
January 27th, 2010 at 9:50 pm
EVOO is what Rachel Ray calls it, therefor making it an evil word.
MzHartz´s last blog ..Living in a Snowglobe
January 27th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
I wish Rachel Ray were barred from the lunch room at my job.
I just checked the dictionary and her picture really is next to the word “nitwit.”
Kim´s last blog ..Lily Beagle
January 27th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
I HATE P.C. shit with a vengeance, although the word moist is annoying. And Rachael Ray’s name has an extra a in it because I’m in show business and know arcane information like that. If she’s the devil, then let me be the devil too cuz the devil is R.I.C.H.
Suzy´s last blog ..Letterman Joins Conan In The Big Baby Wars
January 28th, 2010 at 12:06 am
Moist, penatration, and crusty (food related or not) are on my list. My office is right across from the break room and these words can pull me from even the most important tasks to insipre a breif gag break.
January 28th, 2010 at 12:28 am
Ooo, my fiancé hates the words ‘luncheon’, ‘tucker’, and ‘brekkie’. I never say them, but it’s funny to notice that tension around his eyes when people around us say it not knowing how much he hates those words. ^-^
I hate with a passion the stupid words – mainly noticed this coming from Oprah and her lot – that women use to not say the word vagina. Seriously, get over it. It’s a word. Vajajay isn’t a word, it’s a bloody stupid sound that should be accompanied by a sharp blow to the speakers head by a giant foam bat that says ‘NO’ on it. >_<
Elisha´s last blog ..Bangles!
January 28th, 2010 at 1:23 am
Maybe someone was talking about Rachael Ray and someone tried to rebut their statement and that’s when the EVOO hit the fan and it went like a gleek in the wind.
Pricilla´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – What’s That, Matthew?
January 28th, 2010 at 5:27 am
Jen — I had to look it up too. And now that I know what it is, it makes sense. “I can’t speak to that.” Agreed. Too pompous for me. Regarding why “Oh, snap” is on the good list, I can’t speak to that.
rattln’ along — EVOO stands for Extra Virgin Olive Oil and “EVOO” is something Rachael Ray says ad nauseum on her cooking show.
CatLadyLarew — I don’t know which words came from which person. It’s a collected list over time from everyone in her office. I busted a gut when I read the list. It’s so random and hilarious!
Steve — Oh, yes. I finally looked that up recently because I saw it again on Family Guy. We shall not go there and I’m not telling anyone here what it means. If they want to look it up, it’s up to them. My advice to everyone: don’t. Yes, “oozing” is bad.
MzHartz — Amen, sister!
Kim — I believe you.
Suzy — P.C.? But yeah, anyone would want to have Ms. Ray’s bank account. We just wouldn’t want to have her voice.
daugtherbonnie — I love how they specified how “moist” may be used. The list cracked me up to no end. Penetration, yes. Add that to the list!
Elisha — I love your fiance’s list. So random! I agree with you about vajajay. It’s been way overused and it’s lost its charm. It was cute and funny at first, but now it’s just stupid.
Pricilla — Exactly!
January 28th, 2010 at 5:45 am
I am a little bit sad that bug eating experiences is on the list of prohibited topics. Bugs are delicious. Sorry.
Daisy´s last blog ..I Am Bored!
January 28th, 2010 at 6:29 am
That list is hysterical, especially since a lot of people don’t even know what the words mean. Guess you have to be a member of the lunchroom to understand but they are all very funny.
Marg´s last blog ..We won an award
January 28th, 2010 at 6:54 am
I came into work this morning to discover a full blown mass argument about the pros and cons of the new iPad, followed by the long running Apple vs PC thing. Apart from this topic, there are no limits I am aware of, in fact the more gross the better, especially if it involves bodily functions.
Kazza´s last blog ..Spanish Car Hire Holidays
January 28th, 2010 at 6:59 am
Louise.
January 28th, 2010 at 7:12 am
Last year at my table at lunch we basically talked about anything. As long as it wasn’t disguisting.
We would usually just make fun of our teachers because our teachers were weird.
January 28th, 2010 at 7:52 am
“Moist” is at the top of my (imaginary) prohibited list, along with euphemisms for the perfectly acceptable vagina (YES, SAY IT! It doesn’t hurt!), using “literally” to emphasize something, and baby-ized words like “nummy,” “potty,” and “veggies.”
JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Went to Jamaica and All You Get Are These Lousy Photos So You Don’t Have To
January 28th, 2010 at 8:00 am
Rachel Ray is too innocuous to be the devil, she is just annoying and cloying. Now with Martha Stewart, we are talking evil…
Grace´s last blog ..You were always on my mind…
January 28th, 2010 at 8:13 am
When I was learning words, I always found the word ‘cup’ odd.
It seemed an unfinished word to me and it bugged me – so I used to say ‘cup cup cup cup cup cup cup cup …’ to get it out of my head !
January 28th, 2010 at 8:27 am
“Pimple” and “Goose-Pimples” are prohibited? Too bad.
“Gleeking experiences” is considered a topic? Oh my god. I sure would love to be around these crazies too!
Mr. Stupid´s last blog ..Avatar and the Bomber!
January 28th, 2010 at 8:31 am
This is a test of the commentluv system. It is now working for me. Had this been a real emergency, I would have used a prohibited word.
We will now return you to your scheduled programming.
@JD: come on – using euphemisms can be fun…like “cooter” or “mosobs” (the latter is bosom backwards pluralized
).
Steve´s last blog ..Cars, Drugs, and Weapons
January 28th, 2010 at 9:38 am
Hi All,
One of the crazies, here. Just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading your comments about our list. We are a great, fun-loving group of 6 “work friends” who gather at lunch and just let our brains generate whatever comes out of our mouths. There’s no censorship until someone says something that “offends” another – then after huge guffaws it goes on the list – which we forget about until the next time somebody says something. It’s just us goofin around and havin fun. See you in the funny papers !!!!
January 28th, 2010 at 9:39 am
Well, being English, I would add the word ‘Fanny’
babs – beetle´s last blog ..It’s all gone!
January 28th, 2010 at 9:56 am
I actually had to click on gleeking, am I the only one who didn’t know what it meant? Good thing I don’t work there cuz I could have such a field day with the prohibited words. Gosh, I need to get out more!
SuziCate´s last blog ..Whine Or Wine, Which Is It?
January 28th, 2010 at 10:22 am
I’m with just about everyone here–I hate the word “moist.” But I would probably say it all the time if it was prohibited. What happens if you’re inviting someone to see The Vagina Monologues? Is there a Swear Jar you have to put a dollar in?
PS–I would like to submit the word “pudenda.”
kathcom´s last blog ..My Problem with Twitter and Facebook
January 28th, 2010 at 10:55 am
Perky Rachael Ray? Never watched her but after reading these comments, I’m in the club, I hate her. Annoying little twit.
I hate baby talk. Let me repeat I HATE BABY TALK. Be an adult.
May I submit, not a word but a habit I find highly annoying: Name Dropping, this can be a person or phrase, i.e. the boss, “executive washroom”, what have you. People who do this make my eyes roll back in my head.
Buggys´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Dressing Up!
January 28th, 2010 at 11:15 am
There is only one word we aren’t allowed to say in the office (which I wont mention here!) and even that gets said a few times. Other than that everything is discussed at great length specially when there is lots of work to be done
HM´s last blog ..Hi to all my new followers
January 28th, 2010 at 11:21 am
LOL, sounds like my workplace!
Sharon´s last blog ..Golden Globes
January 28th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Gleeking – OMG, my son does that. I never knew it was a real thing, I just thought he was weird. Cool, I’ve sent him that definition, he’ll love it.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Oh Kathy, You have GOT to come have lunch with us one day. I don’t think any topic is prohibited. And two that are covered pretty regularly are men bashing and the potty practices of dogs. Very broad range. You’d enjoy. (But, you could never quote any of us in your blog though unless our identities were appropriately disguised.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
We’ll never tell that it was one of you Peg @ Lehigh !
January 28th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Oh Snap! What a funny post. Thanks for the chuckle.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:24 pm
@MzHartz : You’re right
NiceBlogger´s last blog ..Free article submission – Review
January 28th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Good point Jaffer — how do you like my disguise? Maybe my real identity is Meg @ Northampton??? Huh Huh Huh?
January 28th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
Good to know that “fuckin’ douchebag” is still acceptable.
Knucklehead!´s last blog ..Boeing 747 vs. Georgia-Pacific Compact 3000
January 28th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Personally, I love any sentences that include chocolate or wine!
Barb at WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..My Geese are back!
January 28th, 2010 at 5:38 pm
Oh, snap! is one of my all time FAVORITES!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Everyone Needs A Little Evelyn!
January 28th, 2010 at 5:43 pm
we used to call asparagus “asper-gag-us” in the school lunchroom.
I think I found the sister of your “Lady on the bench” – I will try to get a picture of her.
grannyann´s last blog ..Life is Like………
January 28th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
bequeath? I’m trying to get something offensive out of it, it’s like dead or is it used like I bequeath you my sperm before I die?
The Vajajay deal? I agree, I thought it was funny like the FIRST time I heard it, not the million since. (prone to exaggeration)
tcc´s last blog ..A Wife Gets All Apologetic And Sappy
January 28th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Kathy, I couldn’t help myself–I had to write a blog post about this! My sister and I do this, too. I loved reading Maureen’s list.
January 28th, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Too many rules, that’s why I eat at my desk and read the paper online.
Lin´s last blog ..I Love Hobbes Thursday
January 28th, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Why would “bequeath” be on the list? Is there some other meaning for the word than the word that appears in wills that lets you know what Aunt Sally left you?
I’m thinking any slang referring to genitalia should also be off limits (including, but not limited to vjj, cooter, hoo ha, etc.). Also off limits…Oprah. Also anything relating to sexual exploits, menses, anything related to the reproductive organs, anything about medical procedures and surgeries.
My last job was in a real estate office. There were about 14 admin staff and at one point over 200 agents. The conversations in the kitchen were so bad that I would wolf down my lunch and head for the computer room and surf the net for the rest of my lunch.
Lola´s last blog ..Hey! Ask Me A Question! Please?
January 29th, 2010 at 6:32 am
I have no idea how I have neglected giddyup for so long. I will begin using it ad nauseam.
Please tell me Yummo is also banned.
cardiogirl´s last blog ..The book of questions, Volume 76
January 29th, 2010 at 7:32 am
My fiancé says that they aren’t random, they’re all horrible. ^-^ I agree, too.
I love to say the word ‘linoleum’ it’s so roly. Say it, linooliuumm.
I also love the word ‘bugbear’ and wish that the meaning was a positive one so I could use it as a pet-name for my fiancé. ^-^
Elisha´s last blog ..Sometimes people… just aren’t my kind of people
January 29th, 2010 at 8:00 am
I am encouraged to see the emphasis on food. Some items I think ought to be added to the “yes” list:
1) Any reference to beer or wine.
2) Heavy emphasis on chocolate.
3) The influence of off-spring’s words and actions on the parent psyche.
Potential addition to the “no” list (note: this is a potential no; personally, I would add it to the “yes” list):
Toe cheese.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:28 am
You know Rachel Ray BIRTHED those Charmin bears, right?
Ugh.
…A.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:39 am
Add us to the list of people who had to look up gleeking! Mom says most of the talk at her work is about food all the time. Chocolate is a BIG topic. Did we mention that Mom runs a ladies health club????
Sniffie and the Florida Furkids´s last blog ..Funny Friday..Sniffie – Caught in the Act!
January 29th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
The list of allowed topics seems very narrow to me… They only talk about food? What about family and activities from the weekend and making fun of spouses? -Mark
January 30th, 2010 at 9:13 am
Very interesting words to ponder..and subjects well what a group sounds like they’d be fun to be around.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
Dorothy Stahlnecker´s last blog ..The Jay-Z Phenomenon, more of what our kids are watching
January 30th, 2010 at 9:28 am
Wow, I really realize how socially backwards I am when I read schtuff like this. But then, I literally tossed the TV out the fire escape door around 15 years ago. This was a pretty spectacular event since I lived on the 4th floor at the time. It bounced all the way down. Yes, I did check for potential human casualties prior to making the toss. My son told me he was a deprived child after that.
Though I guess I COULD talk about food, I’m pretty disciplined when it comes to what goes in my mouth. Well, unless I get a whiff of Chocolate . . .
January 30th, 2010 at 11:54 am
So I think this means their workplace is Rachel-Ray-Free.
That’s awesome.
Wendy´s last blog ..Speak Up!
January 30th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Your sister must totally be putting you on!!??
On the other hand, if you could hear the conversation that goes on where I work, you would go pale. I stay away from the group so I don’t have to hear it. So maybe rules are not so crazy… Yeah they are.
Will´s last blog ..Think Beyond Organic to Ethical Milk
February 2nd, 2010 at 11:31 am
Rachel Ray
I will suggest word petu to be added in the list…
what you say
February 4th, 2010 at 8:44 am
I’m curious what the dealio is with the Charmin bears. I kinda really sorta hate them. And I’m wondering if the bear ban is about loathing or just too many “do bears poop in the woods” jokes?
Jenn of Many Cabbages´s last blog ..Second Childhood with Hoveround Commercial
February 5th, 2010 at 3:13 am
That’s hilarious — There would be more harmony in workplaces if everyone negotiated these lists.
TheWordWire´s last blog ..Superheroes Need Walking-Around Money Too
February 10th, 2010 at 10:58 am
That really sounds fun! If my co-workers would be like that then I’d definitely get rid of boredom. Is “wootoot wootoot” an acceptable substition for genitals to that game you had? Hahaha!
May 11th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
Extra virgin olive oil? Why is that taboo?