Well, I Declare!
Bacon, Bizarre, contests April 21st, 2010I’m sending out a prize package to Babs of Beetle Blog for winning the latest What’s That Wednesday contest.
She lives in the UK. I’m in the US.
My post office insists I complete a customs declaration for overseas packages, including a description of items being sent.
The clerk probably thought I wrote this just to see if anyone pays attention because, aside from the card, tell me this doesn’t sound totally made up.
Note to Babs: Be sure to take the monster out right away and feed him. He’s going to be hungry by the time he gets there. And probably angry.
Stumble it!
April 21st, 2010 at 5:02 pm
I’m probably behind but. . .what are bacon mints?
April 21st, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Wahhhhahahahaha! Now I can’t wait! My favourite pickles, and the bacon mints sound interesting. I hope the monster hasn’t eaten it all by the time he gets here! I’ll open the package wearing strong gardening gloves, just in case he’s in a mean mood.
.-= Babs – beetle´s last blog ..Tuesday Teaser #3 update =-.
April 21st, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Oh I would have loved to have seen the look on their face when they read the contents. That does sound like you made it up….lol too funny
.-= ann´s last blog ..Around the house =-.
April 21st, 2010 at 7:04 pm
LOL I am sure someone in the UK customs is going to be quite amused. I even lay odds they may xray the package just to see if that’s really whats in there Hahaha
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Macro Monday – Spring Delights =-.
April 21st, 2010 at 7:05 pm
That is hilarious! I hope the mailmen get some very hearty laughs out of that!
.-= Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings´s last blog ..I was a Chuck E. Cheese virgin. Now I feel violated. =-.
April 21st, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Ayep, been there, done that. Best I ever sent to the UK was “1 can of genuine Florida sunshine.”
.-= Sharon Heg´s last blog ..Celebrity Shmelebrity =-.
April 21st, 2010 at 7:48 pm
Bacon Mints????????????????????? Are they from the Baconaise people???
Sniffie and the Florida Furkids
.-= Sniffie and the Florida Furkids´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
April 21st, 2010 at 7:51 pm
I have a feeling the customs people are going to be scratching their heads on this one! You could wreak havoc on that list with a misplaced comma. “bacon, mints, finger, puppet, monster…”
.-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: My Pretty, Pretty New Cap =-.
April 21st, 2010 at 7:58 pm
If I worked in customs and I saw that list, I would want to call you up and get to know you. Anyone who sends pickle band aids, bacon mints, and a finger puppet overseas has to have a good sense of humor.
.-= absepa´s last blog ..It’s time for Doodle-palooza 2010! =-.
April 21st, 2010 at 8:04 pm
What is it with you and the post office? And trust me, the people at the post office DO read what you write on your customs form. If you were sending the package to an Islamic country, the bacon (pork) mints wouldn’t be allowed and that nice clerk would make you open the box and take them out before sending. And then you’d have to buy a roll of tape to tape it back up. And monsters, well don’t get me started on those.:)
April 21st, 2010 at 8:26 pm
Ohhh this is too funny, I wonder if customs will open up the package and inspect it. Especially with the pickles, bacon and band aids. They might think it is a new type of bomb, lol
.-= Man Over Board´s last blog ..The Case Of The Magic Sandals =-.
April 21st, 2010 at 9:03 pm
I can just see a happy finger puppet monster noshin down on pickle bandaids and bacon mints! Sounds like a lovely flight…and a true american gift!
April 21st, 2010 at 9:44 pm
Bacon mints. Interesting. I would recommend those to any single woman who is trying to entice men. Because men love bacon.
.-= Kalvin Chinyere´s last blog ..How to Lose Weight at Home =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 12:32 am
One of two things is gonna happen: You’ve either given some customs workers a good laugh for the day, or the package will wind up in the hands of some paranoid employee with no sense of humor who will think the items listed are code for something more malevolent and insist on the package being examined. At which point, s/he will wind up being the laughing stock of the customs department. Either way, you’ve made someone’s day!
.-= Janiss´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Long Arm of the Paw =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:50 am
I have to fill out quite a few forms for customs and I never know what to put!
.-= John | Daily Photo´s last blog ..The View to Marazion =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 4:58 am
Jerseygirl — Well, I’ve never actually eaten them. They’re little white mints that taste like bacon, supposedly. The reviews I’ve read say they don’t taste bad.
Babs Beetle — You’ll be pleased to know the cats find finger puppet monsters a fine toy to play with. It’s the crazy arms they like and it’s not something they can chew on and get sick from. Of course, monster might not like being thought of as a toy. But he’ll get over it. Enjoy!
ann — The guy at the post office didn’t appear to read it and he didn’t bat an eye when I took a picture there right at the counter. Maybe no one reads them? They should. They’re a pain to fill out because you also have to add your address and the recipient’s address all over again.
Jessica — I’d love to see finger puppet monster on an x-ray. And the look on the scanner’s face.
Lisa at Boondock Ramblings — The guy at the counter didn’t appear to care, although I didn’t look him straight in the eye when I handed him the paper. But if he does, he’ll remember me. I go there often.
Sharon Heg — Awww, that’s neat! I want a can!
Sniffie and the Florida Furkids — No, but they should be. I got thisclose to buying another jar of Baconnaise. That stuff is so delicious and I use it as a dipping sauce for everything, cheese, chips, pretzels. It’s to die for.
Daisy the Curly Cat — Oh, my, yes! Especially the finger {shivers}
absepa — Yeah, but if I saw a call coming in from the post office, I’d be afraid I was getting in trouble. I mean, who does that?
MA Fat Woman — Uh oh. That would suck if I had to take the bacon out, considering there isn’t a lick of bacon in those things. But I’d do as I’m told. I’m nothing if not compliant.
Man Over Board — Now there’s one way I could tell if they read them. Write “bomb” on the declaration. But, um. Not funny, huh?
daughterbonnie — He’d better not or he’s never going anywhere again!
Kalvin Chinyere – Not a bad idea, is it? It’d win me over!
Janiss — I would love to know if it gave a chuckle to someone processing packages. I would think they’d need that, given the number of boring envelopes and boxes they have to look at every day.
John Daily Photo — Yeah, tell me about it. It takes a surprisingly long time to come up with a description that’ll fit in the little box. In fact, I asked the clerk for extra forms so I could fill them out in advance next time. I hate holding up lines.
April 22nd, 2010 at 5:12 am
I must say, you just give some uncomfortable situation to some postal employee but it is all fun in the end.
.-= Arafat Hossain Piyada´s last blog ..Download Zemana AntiLogger with free 3 years license key =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 5:23 am
Oh my that is hysterical. I can’t believe that you haven’t tried the bacon mints Kathy. You should have asked to have pictures taken of whoever reads that list. I sure would have to look at it twice to make sure it is real. Wonder if the package will make it.
.-= Marg´s last blog ..The scary new comer. =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 6:10 am
Obviously the finger puppet monster will eat the bacon mints, so that will tide him over until he arrives. Not to worry. And if there’s any rough handling from the postal service during the journey, he can always patch up any boo-boos with the pickle band-aids.
.-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Waiting… A Magpie Tale =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 7:10 am
It must take a lot of self control not to peek into packages like yours. Imagine reading that and not being curious.
.-= Buggys´s last blog ..Midnight Mystery =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 8:12 am
That would make my day if I was the one working the counter when you sumbitted that. I just hope none of the postal workers are overcome with curiosity. They just might start taking bets amongst themselves about whether or not those are the actual contents and they might feel the need to open your package to find out!
.-= Surfie´s last blog ..I Feel So Accomplished! =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 8:41 am
I sent some old, broken, costume jewelry to a jewelry maker in Canada not too long ago. I also had to fill out a customs card. I wrote something like “crappy jewelery” and then had no idea what price to put on it.
I’m interested to know what the people at the post office thought of you taking a picture of the customs form.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..I’m Feeling Sassy! =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 8:45 am
I like Daisy’s thinking! I just won a MagnaBeetle! Yes I did! Woo Hoo! I’m planning to put it right next to my Junk Drawer Magnet. I hope they play nice!
.-= Barb – WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..Happy 1st Birthday, Miss Aria! =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 9:40 am
I used to have a job entering all the information from customs forms for Fedex so they could have a manifest to present to customs before the planes landed.
After about 2 days on the job you could have listed 3 vials of crack cocaine, dead hooker blow up doll and 12 pairs of granny panties (slightly used) and I wouldn’t have batted an eye.
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..Ghostwriting, Content Marketing and Dollars and Sense =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 11:04 am
Tracy, that is awesome. Makes me want to take that job on. Okay, just kidding. But, bacon mints? I don’t know about that. Seems a little… not normal.
.-= Innovatively Simple´s last blog ..Think and Stay Refreshed =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 11:10 am
Now all you need are some toast magnets and you have a junk drawer sandwich for the monster to eat.
.-= Pricilla´s last blog ..See Luke Run! =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 11:28 am
Hysterical! I would love to see the expression on the custom agent’s face when they read this one!
April 22nd, 2010 at 1:58 pm
AHahahha HAHAHHA ahahhaha HAHAH ahaha HAHHAhaha!!!!
Congrats again to Babs, but that has to be one of The Best Labels EVER!
Pickle Band-Aids
Bacon Mints
Finger Puppet Monster
I am cracking up!!!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Eleven] =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Another hilarious one Kathy! I’m sure you gave the post office a nice chuckle! They may not have chuckled in front of you, but I’ll bet they did when you left. That label alone is a keeper!
.-= Anna´s last blog ..Spring Has Sprung…Finally! =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 pm
The finger puppet monster is the best. The life of a postal worker is probably one adventure after another with inventory lists like this.
April 22nd, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Yep, definitely going to get delayed at customs!
Hope that monster likes bacon mints!
.-= Teri´s last blog ..comparison =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Did they question what you wrote? I would have started laughing! Actually, I did laugh. What are pickle bandaids? lol
.-= Corrina´s last blog ..My New Favorite App =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 8:37 pm
Hilarious. I laughed out loud.
.-= frogmama´s last blog ..Slimy, wordful, disgusting Wednesday =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 8:40 pm
I shipped something to a place called “Swords” once. Just Swords. That was the county or town. One of those places in the UK that goes something like :
Nancy Busypants
Turnberry Manor
Bedroom #2
Cow Ridge Pasture
Swords
Cork, Ireland. N968Q93535LZ458
Maybe Babs Beetle has an address like that, therefore the contents would definitely not raise an eyebrow.
.-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Pewter Saltines: Crackers that Live Forever =-.
April 22nd, 2010 at 9:18 pm
The monster is going to love the mints. He won’t be angry. LOVE that list… I bet it brightens a LOT of people’s days!
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..The Day I Would Simply Have To Move =-.
April 23rd, 2010 at 5:08 am
Arafat Hossain Piyada — Heh. It’s probably the most exciting thing that happened to him that day. I can’t imagine the amount of boring packages that cross his hands most of the time.
Marg — I think I’m afraid to try them. It’s like bacon and mints just don’t go together, so I’m askeert! I was taking my chances enough by photographing the slip, I can’t be sure the clerk wouldn’t have kicked me right out the door had I tried to take his picture.
CatLadyLarew — It’s a self-sustaining package!
Buggys — Yeah, I wonder if people would want to see the inside, but thankfully it’s illegal for them to go poking around other people’s monsters.
Surfie — I know I would be! I’d probably go google “finger puppet monsters” and order some for myself. I buy them from PerpetualKid.com. You can buy a half dozen of them at a time, you know. I have a whole box of them at home.
Jen — “Crappy jewelry.” Awesome. Incidentally, I forgot to put a price on my stuff. I was very spy-like when taking the picture. I made sure to turn my camera flash off. I took 3 pictures. I didn’t look at the clerk, and he didn’t ask me “Lady, what the hell are you doing?” This time.
Barb WillThink4Wine — Yes, they will play nice. No worries. Junk Drawer magnets are happy to co-mingle with other fun magnets. I’m thrilled you won Babs’s contest. That was freaking hard!
Tracy — LMAO! I don’t doubt it.
Innovatively Simple — Bacon mints are a lotta not normal. I wonder if Babs is going to actually try one and report back. I should probably tell her to proceed with caution.
Pricilla — They make toast bandaids. Will that do?
Linda Medrano — I’d love to spread a little sunshine in what must be one of the most boring jobs around.
meleah rebeccah — Yes, but would you laugh so hard if the monster jumped out and started eating your face?
Anna — Thanks! I hope so. They need laughs. I couldn’t work in a post office if you paid me a million dollars. Now if you paid me in bacon….
Criminal Justice Degree — Only if they pay attention…
Teri — Monster is going to have to work hard to get at ‘em. The mint box is wrapped tightly in cellophane.
Corrina — No, but then I wouldn’t have heard the question, as I was walking hurriedly out the door! Here are the pickle bandages.
frogmama — Glad you liked it!
Chris at TheSnackHound — Yes, Babs’s address looked much like that. Lengthy and the third line of hers sounded funny to me. So much more interesting than U.S. addresses, aren’t they?
Katherine — And his breathe will be minty fresh instead of all monstery!
April 23rd, 2010 at 8:20 am
He might not be hungry, but the bacon mints will be gone!
.-= motherklunkers´s last blog ..Temp =-.
April 23rd, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Now if he has the pickle bandaids and the bacon mints will he really be that hungrey when he gets there?
April 23rd, 2010 at 3:19 pm
did you see these?? I wonder why you don’t have them…http://www.perpetualkid.com/bacon-and-egg-breakfast-bandages.aspx
April 23rd, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Ever since you gave me the link to that company website I’ve been compiling a birthday present list for my sisters. Its like someone distilled their sense of humor into an internet business. I can’t wait until May.
April 24th, 2010 at 2:36 am
the post office people will sure be surprised when reading that stuff. Lol!
.-= Elena´s last blog ..Submit And Share Your Russianized Images =-.
April 24th, 2010 at 5:11 am
Well now, I’m going to say that if I were a customs clerk I’d probably be looking at those contents slightly sideways *grin*. Of course I’d probably list something like that just for fun (betcha I’m not the only one either
.-= Jen´s last blog ..What in TARNATION?!?!? =-.
April 24th, 2010 at 9:57 am
Kathy:
A finger puppet monster? Is that an endangered species?
You are just too funny.
Happy trails.
April 24th, 2010 at 11:02 am
I read this as “Anger Puppet Monster.”
Give the angry puppet monster some bacon mints. He’ll be OK.
.-= JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Hit “Reply” so you don’t have to =-.
April 24th, 2010 at 11:31 am
That is one for the ages to be sure. Funny thing is those of us that do read your post look at that and think “so what’s the big deal?”. Then it clicks.
I actually read a post somewhere a while ago about odd descriptions on package declarations. This one would surely make the cut.
.-= Will´s last blog ..Amateur Dental Work =-.
April 24th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Greeting card – totally believable. Finger puppet monster – believable. Pickle bandaid – okaaaaay. Bacon mints – say WHAT?! I wonder if anybody reads it and looks twice.
.-= Brenda @ Split Rock Ranch´s last blog ..Springtime in the Rockies! =-.
April 24th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Not sure if this was mentioned here, but I’ve learned (the hard way!) that UK recipients have to pay duty even on gifts…I cannot imagine the “value” of such an unusual list of stuff? Maybe they will be laughing so hard at customs they will give her a break? OR they will be so curious, they will insist on opening the package? The saga continues!
.-= WillOaks Studio´s last blog ..April Showers, April Flowers =-.
April 24th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
motherklunkers — I wouldn’t blame him. Stuck in an envelope with snacks? I wouldn’t resist either.
Tracy — We’ll have to ask Babs how much of the contents make it. I hope she gets it soon, but I have no idea how long it takes for something to get from east coast U.S. to the UK.
Rattln along — Yep. Saw them. In fact, I’m pretty sure I bought a tin of those once upon a time for a giveaway. I wonder who has them.
Shieldmaiden1196 — All I want for Christmas is a gift certificate from Perpetual Kid.
Elena — I’d sort of die if they did, called me up to ask if I’m a lunatic and then ban me from the place.
Jen — I like to think there is a clerk out there who has a blog where they show pictures of weird customs forms people fill out. Wouldn’t that be awesome?
Swubird — Dude! Good to see you. Yes, finger puppet monsters are endangered. It’s because people like me let their cats play with them. It doesn’t always end well for them.
JD at I Do Things — Well, he is one angry puppet. You’ve seen them in person, so you know their in a permanent state of cranky.
Will — You know I probably haven’t sent a sane gift to anyone in the last year or so. These things are to be expected. I’d love to see a blog of just crazy package descriptions. Someone out there has to have one!
Brenda at Split Rock Ranch — I’m a little afraid if Babs tries the mints. Maybe she should keep her doctor on call just in case!
WillOaks Studio — I’m disappointed to read that Babs might have to pay to receive her gift package. She’ll let me know if she does. Yeah, if I had to guess, there’s probably only $8 or so worth of stuff in there. Hardly worth a tax of any kind.
April 24th, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Bacon mints? Really? Is she going to review them? I bet that package gets checked out by a lot of people. We need to find the postal blogger.
.-= Shelly´s last blog ..TGIF =-.
April 24th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Girl, you crack me up! The stuff you come up with. Congrats to BABS for the win and a boxful of unique goodies.
.-= Linda´s last blog ..How To Celebrate Earth Day 2010 =-.
April 24th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
I once mailed a doughnut to seattle from nb canada, and had to declair it on the package. The post office lady made fun of me:P
April 24th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
OMG, I am SOOOO jealous!!
A finger puppet monster???? I want one! I want one!
I could use it to torment my TROLL DOLLS!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA!
And the bacon mints….
Where do you find this cool stuff??
.-= Ron´s last blog ..Something Cute and Cuddly =-.
April 25th, 2010 at 8:27 am
Holy Cow! If I’d known one of the prizes was bacon mints….
.-= Tracy Farr´s last blog ..I’m Gearing Up for a Pain-in-the-Butt Summer Adventure =-.
April 26th, 2010 at 9:43 am
They may just think you’re sending the package to a not-easily-grossed out 7 year old.
.-= Jenn of Many Cabbages´s last blog ..Aesthetic Examination in Fine Bad Art: Portrait of Big-Eyed Pig-Dog-Person =-.
April 26th, 2010 at 11:23 am
hi Kathy,
I’ve got to start stopping by again more often. I love your sense of humor!
BTW, I’ve been looking of pickle bandaids for a while. Where did you find them?
Steve, the MIA trade show guru
.-= Steve, the MIA trade show guru´s last blog ..Cheap Trade Show Displays Aren’t Always Cheap =-.
April 28th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
now the devil in me would want to put something fresh or naughty on the label, but you’re so good. i wanna be like you when i grow up.
April 29th, 2010 at 6:34 pm
Shelly — I heard from Babs after she received the package and she said the mints did actually taste bacony and weren’t bad. How ’bout that.
Linda — Thank you, my dear!
leah — I wonder why. A donut? Seriously? Kudos.
Ron — Ah, yes. The troll dolls! I would happily send you a finger puppet monster. If you get this message, send me a note with your address. I have a box full of monsters just waiting to make new friends. Check out PerpetualKid.com for all my cool stuff. Prepared to want everything!
Tracy Farr — See, now. I can’t tell if you’re being facetious. You’re a tricky bugger.
Jenn of Many Cabbages — And addressed to a fun name like Babs, they probably didn’t bat an eye. I don’t think I used her real first name!
The MIA Trade Show Guru Steve — Yeah, dude. I’ve missed you! You can get pickle bandaids most anywhere. Do a general google search for them. Amazon.com and PerpetualKid.com are both places you can order them.
v — I would be honored if you would.
May 2nd, 2010 at 7:26 pm
So did the clerk even notice that you have a puppet monster and pickle band aid’s? Bacon Mints mmm I love bacon.. I’m sure the Uk customs probably looked at it and said huh? lol to funny
.-= Mario @ halloween Super Affiliate´s last blog ..Halloween Super Affiliate – How To Make Money With Halloween Niche =-.
May 5th, 2010 at 12:54 am
haha… story seems to be very interesting. I loved it. please tell us what happened next?
May 8th, 2010 at 5:47 am
Bacon mints! Strange mix of flavours there lol
.-= Lady Banana´s last blog ..Gratitude Award =-.