Checkout Line Class
food, Stuff I hate January 17th, 2011
People, people, people. It’s so simple.
When you stand behind me in the grocery store checkout and you inch your way ever closer to the cashier, and in the process kick my feet, you can avoid having to say “Excuse me” and I would not have to burn a hole through your skull with my angry stare.
I promise you, you will get through the line with all your stuff quickly enough, whether you’ve hopped on my back or not. I prefer you not get all up in my grill and then have to apologize for it.
Here’s today’s lesson: There is an comfortable distance that you should stand behind a person before that person gets decidedly uncomfortable. For me, that’s two feet, not two inches.
You’re not running a marathon, there is no prize for getting to the end of the line faster and all it does is make me want to squeeze your bread until it looks like one giant matzo ball.
Two feet. Not two inches. Got it?
Stumble it!
January 17th, 2011 at 6:35 pm
Same with the jerk who does that at the traffic light. Get off my bumper!
January 17th, 2011 at 6:43 pm
Personal space, yes that is at LEAST 2 feet for sure! I hate it when someone I don’t know very well (shit, even someone I do know very well) insists on getting 2 inches from my face to talk to me! Don’t they notice me leaning backwards, stepping backwards, turning my head so I don’t have to smell what they had for breakfast? Jeez, already!!
Lisa´s last blog post ..Random-ness!
January 17th, 2011 at 6:48 pm
Good lesson. I sure hope that the lady who was 2 inches behind me in line not too long ago reads your blog. I was seconds away from turning around and screaming in her face to back off.
Ann´s last blog post ..must be crazy
January 17th, 2011 at 6:58 pm
Who do I want to punch in the soul? The people who bump my ass with their grocery cart. I told a guy who actually edged me past the card-swipe terminal while I was putting a loaded bag in my cart, “Oh, are you paying for mine?” “Uh, no,” he said. “Then can you back up about a foot?”
Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog post ..This is not a Resolution Post
January 17th, 2011 at 7:15 pm
There are so many rules of the grocery store and this one is on the top of the list. The other one is for the two old ladies who bump into each other and start talking with their carts parked right in the middle so no one can get by. Oh that one makes me want to squeeze their bread.
Jen´s last blog post ..I’ve Killed Another Microwave
January 17th, 2011 at 7:15 pm
LOL! That’s so true! People need to realize their cart is an extension of themselves when in line so that 2 foot rule goes for their cart, too. It’s not like their groceries will be rung up any faster if they are right behind me. Nothing is worse than being hit in the heels with someone’s grocery cart.
I’m Bacon´s last blog post ..Bacon revisits Mad Fox Brewery
January 17th, 2011 at 7:23 pm
This is why I use the self checkout. People tend to stay back and give me some space. It looks like I could shop in a store with all of you people as we know the rules!
January 17th, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Being as I’m 4’10” (almost) it is very annoying to have peeps pushing me. Not only are they directly behind me, they are over me, too.
Cats~Goats~Quotes´s last blog post ..Rest In Peach Royal Marshall
January 17th, 2011 at 7:41 pm
and don’t damn well plug the express line with a cart full 8 items only or I will club you with a French Stick..:)
robert bourne´s last blog post ..The Roadthe middle yearspart 19
January 17th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Right on! And what about those old ladies who stand and watch the cashier and THEN FINALLY decide well, maybe I should get my check book out now…oh my…you need my liscence too? Let me dig a while for that also! My god lady you’ve been in line for 15 minutes…get a debit card.
January 17th, 2011 at 7:58 pm
e way I keep people back had to shift back and forth from foot to foot like a brain damaged prize fighter. Scares the hell out of people and they avoid the line I’m in altogether.
January 17th, 2011 at 8:52 pm
Corollary: Please don’t begin unloading your groceries until I’ve finished unloading mine so I don’t have to keep shoving yours to the end of the conveyor belt to make room for mine.
By the way, I gave a shout out to Windy yesterday.
feefifoto´s last blog post ..A Modest Proposal For Limiting Our Plastic Bag Use
January 17th, 2011 at 9:03 pm
Here is something I have been wondering about. Who is supposed to put the divider in between the groceries: the person in front, or the person behind?
Have you ever had someone walk so close to you they give your shoe a flat tire?
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..Monday Funnies!
January 17th, 2011 at 10:20 pm
“I promise you, you will get through the line with all your stuff quickly enough, whether you’ve hopped on my back or not.”
OMG I laughed so hard at this!
Marnie´s last blog post ..Take the Drinking Challenge
January 18th, 2011 at 5:52 am
Momo Fali — Oh, man. That’s another one. I used to be the person who fast braked those people, but if they’re on a cell phone, I don’t do that anymore because I’m afraid they’ll rear-end me. I curse them instead and wish them an infestation of stink bugs.
Lisa — I hate the Close Talker too! I can hear you as well way over there as I can in my face. Cripes.
Ann — Oh, I wish you had. It’s the only way they learn. A good hard stare works wonders.
Shieldmaiden — “Who do I want to punch in the soul?” OMG. Dying here. I love how you handled your interloper. I’ve confronted those people too. What I wonder is how they think I’m gonna finish my transaction if they’re in my spot. I’m not Stretch Armstrong for crying out loud.
Jen — Hate that too. Especially in aisles that are already clogged with those cardboard displays filled with merchandise. How do they think you’ll get around them? We can’t just blink ourselves to other places like I Dream of Jeanie.
I’m Bacon — I’m so considerate with my cart. I don’t even load up my items until theirs are almost all checked out. It doesn’t take an hour to load up. People are so panicked if they don’t do the pile up as soon as there’s room on the belt. Oh the humanity!
Sheila — I use the self checkout most of the time, but last night I had a full cart. There are even problems over at the self line with pushy people. Hate when they start scanning before my things are bagged.
Cats Goats Quotes — Oh, that stinks. Sorry. But you tell ’em sister! Nobody puts Baby in a corner (points if you know where that’s from).
robert bourne — “…club you with a French Stick.” LMAO.
Lynne Demeter — Hate, hate, hate, hate that!!!! It’s like they’ve never shopped before in their lives. Of anyone, they’ve shopped MORE! Get with the program, people! ARRRRGHHH!
Tarheel Rambler — LMAO. Right. It’s all about confusing the opponent. And every other person in the store is an opponent. It’s all about making it to the parking lot before you knock someone out.
feefifoto — Oh, I hate that too!! This same foot-kicking lady did that to me with a couple items. I had to go searching for the plastic dividing thingy for her. Thanks for mentioning Windy, and you’re right, she got special treatment. Same can’t be said for the millions of other bags. BTW, your statistics are astounding. And sad.
Daisy the Curly Cat — I’m not sure who’s supposed to do it. I do it if I’m closer to one. But I think the person in the back has a wee bit more responsibility than I. That’s a good question, Daisy. Now I’m always going to remember you said that at the store. Oh, and flat tire on a shoe? Funny! I did get a real flat tire once because some bozo was following too closely when I turned onto my street. I was so MAD!!!!
Marnie — Hee! I’m laughing too picturing that. I swear, she was so close to doing it.
January 18th, 2011 at 8:34 am
But I would WANT to stand two inches away from you! Damn! 😉
Ferd´s last blog post ..The NUT doesn’t fall too far from the tree
January 18th, 2011 at 9:49 am
The publicist turns around and stares at people. It scares them. She is very, very scary when she wants to be.
Pricilla´s last blog post ..Come Play with Me
January 18th, 2011 at 11:44 am
Unless he’s really really cute. Then it’s okay if you come a little closer.
January 18th, 2011 at 12:04 pm
I’ve given up understanding people. The other day, I was driving down the street when we hear the whistle of an approaching train and the guards start coming down to keep cars off the tracks.
The fool on my right, decides that the right thing to do would be rev his engine, cut right in front of me and then zoom into the left turn lane and take the turn so sharply that I was surprised he didn’t roll over.
Why? It’s not like he’d beat the train to the other crossing because he was turning in the same direction the train was coming from.
And it’s not as if he had to take his chance or never get to the turning lane because there was nobody behind for as far as I could see.
January 18th, 2011 at 3:42 pm
I hate this! I’m very much a Northerner “a yank” as they call it down here in Texas…and sometimes my 3ft even for friends just isn’t understood. I have a trick.. I stand facing the belt with my legs apart..but with all my weight on the leg closest to the till. These makes people keep their space and notice their invasion!
January 18th, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Ferd — You are just about the nicest person I know. Oh, wait. You weren’t serious, were you?
Pricilla — And so am I. It’s too bad I can’t get all the annoying people in one room for The Giant Staredown. It would save so much time.
Linda Medrano — Oh, yeah. I forgot about that possibility. Now why can’t that happen to me when I go shopping?
Tracy — Was he on a cell phone, too? All I can guess is that these people love living life on the edge. Life possibly becoming really short. Asshats.
daughterbonnie — Yeah! The left foot blockage! Way to take control of the situation. I’m also guessing two inches is too far for some southerners. I know they think we’re so cold up here. But if I wanted you shopping in my lap, I’d ask.
January 18th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
I hate people getting all up in my grill, too. For me, that means a good 2-3 feet of space. My husband and I were in line at Aldi recently, and we had a family of five hot on our heels. At one point, my husband glanced over and caught one of the kids–a girl who looked to be 10 or 11–with her finger pointed, about to poke our bread. Seriously? Who thinks poking a stranger’s bread is okay? My husband is not a large man, but he deployed his most frightening glare, and the girl backed off.
absepa´s last blog post ..Myriad meteorological miseries
January 18th, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Oh, the horror. I totally FREAK OUT when people invade my personal space in check-out lines.
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..When In Doubt Repost!
January 18th, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Sadly people are so scared that someone else might actually manage to sneak into a 24″ gap that they always queue wheel to heel here! If you do leave a small gap, people actually think you’re not in the queue and will try to edge in!
Babs (beetle)´s last blog post ..Oh what a fool! Who Me
January 18th, 2011 at 8:42 pm
That is when I go slower… much much slower. 🙂
January 18th, 2011 at 9:47 pm
I put my cart behind me in line so they don’t do that to me. I empty it from the front and it gives me some space.
lin´s last blog post ..And the Winner is
January 18th, 2011 at 11:05 pm
Kathy, I can’t understand why people continually push their carts into my heel. Then when I look back at them in aggravation they act like it is my own fault. One Lady hit me twice and didn’t even say ecuse me.
I hope there is a special place in Grocery shopping hell for them.
Okay, I am fine now. I will smile and give them a nod of understanding and forgiveness….. While I secretly envision violently pushing their cart backwards and making them choke on the under carriage!
Chris Casey´s last blog post ..The Murphys Law of Housecleaning if you own dogs
January 19th, 2011 at 2:33 am
Just like in the streets and in traffic, “distancia amigo” Keep Distance!
RonLeyba´s last blog post ..Video Game Testing Jobs
January 19th, 2011 at 4:55 am
Well said, well said. I like my space too. Handy since I spend so much time there. In space.
January 19th, 2011 at 5:41 am
absepa — Hey! Poke your own food, kid! Geesh. I’m all about teaching other people’s kids lessons if their parents aren’t paying attention. A good hard stare is just what the doctor ordered.
meleah rebeccah — I think I’d have a hard time living in China. Isn’t that where the acceptable distance is like six inches. Aieeeee!
Babs Beetle — Oh, no you don’t butt in line! That’ll get ya killed here. Just sayin’.
Katherine — I like that punishment. I like it a lot.
lin — That’s a possibility, except then I have to push them back with the cart to get to the swipe card thingy. Oh, wait. Not a bad idea.
Chris Casey — I could just see that happening and when all the emergency people show up and you tell them a lady kicked you in line, they’d be all “Oh, she got what was coming” as they tried to extricate her from underneath your cart.
RonLeyba — Distancia amigo! I’m going to scream that next time.
HumorSmith — Hee.
January 19th, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Shopping at bulk stores like Costco always give me claustrophobia. People literally race you to the lines and you’re lucky if you can even see the cashier. Self checking in the local grocery store is definitely the way to go.
January 19th, 2011 at 6:33 pm
The world is full of people who are selfish and inconsiderate. The grocery store is no exception.
Stanthrax´s last blog post ..NAIAS 2011
January 19th, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Self check-out means personal space, no eye contact, and no big fake smile for the cashier. Priceless…
January 20th, 2011 at 9:30 am
I love the self check out. Having your heel run over by a cart (or even the thought of it happening) is one of those things that make me twitch. Back the hell up.
Rachele´s last blog post ..Nanny Goats White Elephant Gift Exchange
January 20th, 2011 at 10:47 am
What I like to do when I’m standing in line and the jerk behind me is standing too close, is pretend I don’t realize how close they are and then subtly shift my weight to my back leg so it makes me lean into THEIR space. (I’ll even slide my foot back a few inches if I have to in order to improve my reach.) Then they are the ones feeling their personal bubble violated. Ha! Works every time, and I can still remain the “innocent” party because I don’t have eyes in the back of my head. Well, except for the eye bandages I won from you a while back. 🙂
Surfie´s last blog post ..Cozy Comfort
January 21st, 2011 at 1:53 am
It is unbelievable but people do this all the time. I actually try to keep the shopping cart behind me to ward them off. But eventually the clerk needs the cart to load the bags. That used be a problem but I have recently come up with a solution that works for me. I perfected the fake diseased sounding cough. You know the one that says TB, Bronchitis, and “watch out here comes the greenish brown phlegm!” Aimed loudly back towards the person kicking my feet, it always works.
January 22nd, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Medical Assistant — Which is why I’m glad I don’t shop there. I’d be the one someone takes out trying to get their $700 order to the checkout first.
Stanthrax — You got it, brother.
Linda — I love self-checkout, but I had a big order with bulk items. I had mercy on the self-checker-outers and went to a normal line. See where that got me?
Rachele — What I don’t understand is how these people can’t remember that they don’t like it happening to THEM and why they don’t take steps to chill out for a second. Literally, two steps! God!
Surfie — Oh, I’m so using that. It shall be named “The Surfie Stance.” Patent it. (Laughing about the eyeball bandaids. You wrote such a funny post about that. Cracked me up!)
Will — Yeah, the cart thing. One thing I like to do when I’m shopping with my husband is stay back with the cart as far and as long as possible so that the people behind me can’t put their things on the belt when they want. It’s like my little protest. I know they’re just chomping at the bit to put those first items on. A little TB, eh? Gotta remember that if all my other tactics don’t work.
January 28th, 2011 at 8:31 pm
So true! There’s no prize for getting to the line faster, but more importantly, getting into the space of the person in front of them is not going to speed up the line anyway!! You need spokes in the back of your shoes to teach a lesson to any “close shoppers”.
February 3rd, 2011 at 6:37 pm
This happened to me today. I was buying flowers and some guy behind me came up so close to me and then went past me to begin bagging his items while I was still paying.