It’s Not Like I Asked Him to Shave My Legs
Stuff I hate January 13th, 2011I don’t understand the resistance, really. It’s not like I asked him to shave my legs.
I’ve asked my husband repeatedly if he would help me do something that is impossible for me to do by myself.
When we took our wedding vows, I’m sure there was something in there about helping your wife in her times of need — whether it’s when she’s sick, needs moral support, or if there’s a clog of some horrific magnitude in the shower drain.
But most especially – I’m pretty sure I heard it, right before the death part – he’s supposed to pull gray hairs out of the back of my head where I can’t see to pluck them myself.
Yes. I’m sure I heard it.
Listen. I’m not gray enough to start getting my hair colored, or maybe it’s that I’m too cheap to start laying out fifty bucks every six weeks.
I just want those few suckers gone. I know they’re there, and I need someone to do it for me.
He won’t do it because it’s “weird.” Weird shmeird. Pull ‘em out!
Maybe I should remind him that when we were bride and groom, the operative word there was groom.
Photo credit: Alex Clayton
Stumble it!
January 13th, 2011 at 7:03 am
It’s the least he can do! My Mommeh sometimes shaves the back or our dad’s neck for him. I hope Harley gets gray hairs so I can pull them out.
January 13th, 2011 at 7:09 am
You need to learn to trade. There must be something he wants or gets when he wants it. So sit down and calmly explain to him that he no longer gets whatever that is unless you get hair removal.
Jim´s last blog post ..The Topmost Marketing Must – Know Your Target Market
January 13th, 2011 at 7:42 am
LOL aside from the fact that I am a quarter white, I don’t dye my hair. I just embrace the white, and am happier for it.
SewDucky!´s last blog post ..Adventures In Sewing Supplies
January 13th, 2011 at 8:02 am
I have to do that for my partner I’ve got to agree with your husband it was a little bit weird at first I think it’s just the thought of it makes you feel all weird. The trick my wife used is she has incredible powers of making me feel guilty and applies the guilt trip whenever she has to go out to certain occasions and needs them little buggers plucked. (as she puts it) she says things like everybody will be looking at them I’m so embarrassed! how can I go with them their! It works every time I’m such a sucker.
January 13th, 2011 at 8:10 am
Ugh, that is weird!!! I don’t care, sickness and health be damned. Unless you are completely incapacitated and the need for grey hairs to be removed is actually life or death, then you have to just do it yourself! Now that k-ster is back on his foot, I am not putting on or taking off his sock, not doing his bandage, etc. Ew…
sparkling74´s last blog post ..Crying Wolf and Feeling Holy
January 13th, 2011 at 8:26 am
I have never plucked out my grey hairs. I don’t think they were particularly noticeable with my colour hair. Well I didn’t noticed them, though others may have. I do now notice grey hairs that seem more wiry than my normal hair, but if I plucked now, I may end up bald!
Dave please help your wife to feel better about herself and get plucking!
Babs (beetle)´s last blog post ..Mrs Leach’s Ice Cream
January 13th, 2011 at 10:14 am
The publicist says to embrace the grey ’cause it’s going to win. You can try and beat it back but it has super powers.
Pricilla´s last blog post ..Memries – Piny Tree Smelling Memries of the Tree-t That Was
January 13th, 2011 at 10:14 am
I’m with Babs on this, except my grey hair was very noticeable. Just decided to go with it, I earned it, just wish it would hurry up and go all grey.
I guess you’ll have to go with what Jim said, trade.. 🙂
Cats~Goats~Quotes´s last blog post ..Exercise with Malachi
January 13th, 2011 at 10:22 am
LOL poor thing. He really should help you out and ease the anxiety. My grey are really quite white ..and sprinkled all over. When they first started showing I would get irritated and pluck that stray one that popped up over night out. If I plucked now I would probably look like one of those hairless dogs, I just know it. I let them be now days and wear them as a sign of courage and wisdom gained through battles won 🙂
January 13th, 2011 at 10:32 am
On our honeymoon– I cut his toenails.
ON OUR HONEYMOON.
Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog post ..This is not a Resolution Post
January 13th, 2011 at 11:32 am
Hide his ear hair trimmer (I remember that what’s that)
And tell him you’ll ‘gently’ pluck them out with tweezers instead because it’ll strengthen the bond between the two of you.
January 13th, 2011 at 11:54 am
I haven’t had to face this issue yet since surprisingly I haven’t had (or at least noticed) any gray hairs yet. My husband, however has quite a few sprinkled throughout his hair. He used to always tease me about being OLD because he’s a year younger than me. Now I just reply with “I’m not the one with gray hair.” He used to pluck out the hairs when he saw them, until I guess he realized there were too many and he’d rather have gray hair than thinning hair. 🙂
Surfie´s last blog post ..Im Ready to Take on the World
January 13th, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Try Natural Instincts – $6 a box – temporary through 24 shampoos.
January 13th, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Come on Kathy, you’ve got to be able to come up with SOMETHING to use as a bartering tool – tell him it turns you on when he pulls your gray hair out. You’ll be gray hairless by the end of the day.
January 13th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Thanks, Shieldmaiden, for sharing with the world. Thanks a lot, lady. 😉
Unfinished Rambler´s last blog post ..Catching up on Captchas of the Weeks- From “agthst” to the ever popular “sperm”
January 13th, 2011 at 2:03 pm
This is one of those slippery slopes. If he does pull out your grey hairs he might ask you to clip his nose hairs or worse shave the calluses off his feet, especially if he refuses to use those reading glasses because they make him look old or remind him that he is getting older. This might be something you ask an office co-worker to do for you.
Jen´s last blog post ..I Should Have Won Something By Now
January 13th, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Hmm. Perhaps you jut need to doing something sufficiently irritating to him that he’ll want to make you go “Ow!’ as he yanks out each individual gray hair.
Cromely´s last blog post ..Book Review 62- The Happiest Days of Our Lives
January 13th, 2011 at 4:10 pm
I agree with Jen, be careful where you tread in these waters.
Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog post ..To the Executives at PBS- I Am Not Amused
January 13th, 2011 at 5:47 pm
Daisy the Curly Cat — I bet you would do a good job helping Harley with his gray hairs. He would appreciate if you groomed him. And I bet he would return the favor and take care of your curly furs.
Jim — OK, but then I have to assess the value of certain things in relation to my gray hair. What’s the value of hair removal? A massage? Mowing the lawn? Letting him glom the TV for football Sunday? What? What?
SewDucky — Yeah, but are you a brunette? Don’t the grays bug the hell out of you? I freak when I see one. I carry a tweezers in my purse for just such emergencies.
twitter for business — Yes, everybody WILL look at them. They’ll be mesmerized by the one that’s poking out from my rat’s nest. That’s what motivates me. I’m glad you’re a sucker. It’s an important job not to be taken lightly.
sparkling74 — But I can’t see them! I get the ones on the top and sides of my head, but I can’t see anything back there. So I’m guessing there’s like a hundred that have to come out by now. I’m so depressed.
Babs Beetle — And that’s what my hair stylist tells me. She’s always screaming at me not to pluck because as she says “I used to have clients with full head of hair and now they’re almost bald from plucking.” Do I listen? No. No, I don’t. I can’t help it. I don’t want to color yet!
Pricilla — But I have superer powers! I have tweezers and time!
Cats-Goats-Quotes — I am in total awe of you. I can’t just “go with it.” Nosiree, bob!
Katherine — I know I’m risking baldness, but look at my picture at the top of the blog. That is one massive head of hair. I figure I could lose 200 hairs a day and not miss a beat. Hairless dog, here I come!
Shieldmaiden — I love that you admitted that. And outed your husband.
Jaffer — Oh, but that’s my hair trimmer! You have a good memory, by the way. You so funny.
Surfie — Touche! I’m only marginally worried about going bald, because I have such a thick head of hair. I figure it’ll take 20 years before the plucked hair follicles don’t produce hair anymore.
Connie — OMG. I would surely screw up my whole head if I used a $6 coloring. Orange anyone?
Sheila — And there you go. I cannot argue with that. I’ll let you know how that works out.
Unfinished Rambler — She got you good, didn’t she?
Jen — Yeah, but he grooms himself better than I do. You should see his feet. They are divine. Not a single callus on them. I hate him that he has better feet than me. After your comment, I asked my co-worker if she’d help me pluck and she agreed. So I may be making progress. She said it’s something a girl friend should do anyway.
Cromely — Irritating? That I can do! All. Day. Long.
Nanny Goats — I know. It is a slippery slope. But he’s also weirded out by other people helping with his grooming needs, so I think I’m safe. It’s only me we’re worried about.
January 13th, 2011 at 5:50 pm
Kathy, you might be better off getting a girlfriend to do that for you, because your husband might want you to return the favor – and like Jen pointed out – that could get gross.
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..Have You Ever The Writer’s Block and Infomercial Edition
January 13th, 2011 at 6:33 pm
That was funny, I think my hubby would refuse too. I just live with them for about 3-4 months and then have my mom or sister help me color my hair. I am too cheap to have it done.
Carrie´s last blog post ..Book Reviews Coming Soon
January 13th, 2011 at 7:01 pm
I can almost guarantee that my husband wouldn’t do it for me either. Although I’ve got too many gray hairs to pluck anyway
Ann´s last blog post ..for the birds
January 13th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
I have hair that is too red to be brown and too brown to be auburn…so yes, it shows and now I have 3 very bright white streaks all in front (bangs and each side). It used to bother the hell out of me and I dyed it, until I looked at my family where the women had really nice, thick hair until vanity made them get rid of the grey, and their hair is thin and terrible looking. I may be going white, but man I got a lot healthy, thick hair that they don’t. To me, I’d rather have hair than have non-white hair.
SewDucky!´s last blog post ..Adventures In Sewing Supplies
January 13th, 2011 at 8:13 pm
At least Dave just said it was weird, and didn’t laugh in your face. I’m pretty sure that’s what my husband would do. He’s just not that kind of husband.
If you do decide to color, it’s really not too hard to do at home. The friend who cuts my hair says that, if you just want to cover grays with your natural color, you might as well save the money and do it yourself, because the results will be about the same.
absepa´s last blog post ..Myriad meteorological miseries
January 13th, 2011 at 9:50 pm
Yeah/no. I don’t think I would ask because he’s gonna grab the wrong hairs and it’s gonna hurt. Then you are gonna yell at him to get the GRAY hairs and he’s gonna yell back that he’s “TRYING” and that just leads to a big giant bald spot on the back of your head.
If it is just a few hairs, you won’t need to color every 6 weeks–it would be every 12 weeks or so. Take my advice and spend the money on color.
lin´s last blog post ..I Love Hobbes Thursday – Snow sigh
January 14th, 2011 at 1:20 am
It IS weird! Plus for any guy past a certain age plucking a hair out of a scalp is the last thing we would ever do. Ours seems to find their way out on their own as we age. I’d like to have a few of your gray hairs to add to my thinning crop!
Will´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday 1-12-2011
January 14th, 2011 at 3:04 am
Wow, why he thinks its weird? its weird to think he thinks its kinda weird.
RonLeyba´s last blog post ..Best Twitter Mobile And Desktop Application Lists
January 14th, 2011 at 6:59 am
I have gray hair too and am keeping it all! I’m just glad for every hair I have and don’t care what color it is. Your hubby should definitely pluck those out for you though if you asked him nicely.
Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry”´s last blog post ..Die For You by Lisa Unger
January 14th, 2011 at 8:26 am
Maybe you should tell him you are going for a cut and color every six weeks in NYC where it could be $1000.00 each time add it up for him and tell him now hand over your credit card or pluck the darn hairs.
January 14th, 2011 at 9:51 am
I loved this post!! I color my hair and as someone posted, if I started pulling the gray hair out, I might very well end up bald!! It does give me pause to wonder if he’ll pull those horrible little hairs that appear to growing in places they shouldn’t (chin) as I get older and can’t see as well as I can now. Must be something in the vows about that or maybe we should renew our vows and rewrite the originals! Donna @ http://mylife-in-stories.blogspot.com
January 14th, 2011 at 11:06 am
Jen’s totally correct… better to leave the grooming to someone else in case he asks for reciprocity!
CatLadyLarew´s last blog post ..You Could Do ANYTHING In That Hat!
January 14th, 2011 at 12:16 pm
Love the play on the word “groom.” But Kathy, really. Speaking for the “Shiny-Americans” everywhere, as long as you still HAVE hair, it’s bad form to quibble about the color.
Knucklehead!´s last blog post ..How Much Does a Bat Cost
January 14th, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Kathy, spring for the colorist. Maybe even some highlights. You can go 3 or 4 months without showing any roots with that. Plucking could result in a patch of bald. That would not be a good look on you.
Linda Medrano´s last blog post ..Frankly Frazzled
January 14th, 2011 at 5:26 pm
It’s kind of funny that he thinks it’s so weird and won’t do it. I remember my mother used to have me pluck out any offending grays. She eventually started using lighter dyes and highlights.
January 14th, 2011 at 11:56 pm
I think it’s part of the marriage contract. I remember reading something about “yanking gray hairs from the back of the head” right after “in sickness and in health.” Although, yanking too many gray hairs at once may cause a neck injury or a headache.
Lauren´s last blog post ..How Deep is Your Snow – To the Tune of How Deep is Your Love w-Barking Dogs
January 15th, 2011 at 5:02 am
meleah rebeccah — I think I have someone who’s willing to do it – my coworker, who also suggested a friend is better suited to the job. I just have to ask her when it’s best to do it. Before or after lunch?
Carrie — I’m too cheap, too annoyed with the process of coloring, and also afraid somehow there will be a coloring disaster and suddenly I’ll look like Ronald McDonald.
Ann — You know what’s weird? Sometimes I have a lot of grays. Sometimes I have almost none. Why? Why is that? Is it my stress levels going up and down. What????
SewDucky – That’s exactly what my stylist says. “You’re going to bald yourself if you keep plucking.” And you’re right. I have hair and lots of it. I couldn’t imagine my problems if I wound up balding before I’m 50.
absepa — But you know me. Nothing I ever do winds up working right. Seriously. Would you trust me with a box of Clairol on you? No. The answer is no. I’m just going to have to buck up and go to my stylist and get it done already.
lin — Hee. You could be right. And he’s a perfectionist, so I’m guessing it’ll take him forever to make sure he only pulls the grays (although I feel I can afford to lose good ones). I could handle every 12 weeks, but not ever six. I don’t have that kind of time to be sitting in a chair. Ugh. Just the thought of it.
Will — In addition, and it hasn’t been mentioned here yet, my husband is lacking in the hair department. It just now occurred to me he might not want to deal with the fact that I have enough hair for three people, but there’s no way to transplant it onto his head.
RonLeyba — See! I knew it!
Karen — I think I’m just still very vain. Maybe after I hit 50 I really won’t give a damn anymore. I think I might wait that out.
Mary Beth — That’s sheer brilliance!
Donna — Yeah, why must hair grow where it doesn’t belong? Why? I really wanna know. And I love your idea of rewriting vows. I can think of six other things to put in there, like “And you promise to wipe up all your kitchen messes because there aren’t little kitchen gnomes who come out at night to do it for you.”
CatLadyLarew — Yes, cuz I can get away with offering something as simple as a free lunch to a friend at work. I’m afraid what my husband might ask for!
Knucklehead! — I liked that too (and I loved the picture, tho no one mentioned it!) And I know and understand about the Shiny-Americans. Dave is shiny too, and it just occurred to me that that might be why he doesn’t wanna do it. Maybe our vows should be rewritten for me, as in “And you promise to not go bitching about your hair if your husband has none.”
Linda Medrano — One other thing I’m worried about is that my stylist will over-color me and I’ll wind up having that bad-looking brassy red thing goin’ on. Bald isn’t a good look, but neither is clown.
Criminal Justice Degree — Aw, that’s nice of you. I wouldn’t even ask if I could see them myself. If I could just temporarily spin my head around, ala The Exorcist.
Lauren — See? I knew it was in there!
January 16th, 2011 at 9:55 am
I pull the ones in the front that I can see but never thought about the ones in the back. Thanks a lot. I also color my own hair (The color I like best is at the $1 store so clearly I’m not paying $50). This is a tricky one. While I think it’s not gross and he should halp, I agree that you may not want to help him with his next “need”.
Rachele´s last blog post ..TABASCO Pork Chops
January 16th, 2011 at 1:21 pm
You probably would have had an easier time if you had asked him to shave your legs!
January 16th, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I agree with the other commenters who say you need to strike a deal. What does he really like? Offer him that if he plucks the hairs for you. I’m intrigued how you managed to find them though!
Katie´s last blog post ..New York- Day 2
January 16th, 2011 at 10:54 pm
This is a problem!
I can just see it now. You will pull out the front gray hairs but not the ones on the top of your head or the back. You’ll have this stripe of white hair from top to back. Ouch!
Or, you’ll have one of those little shocks of white hair like you just got hit by lightning. Might make you look crazy!
Ferd´s last blog post ..First try at HDR photography
January 17th, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Great punchline! My husband told me not to pull the gray hairs out of my head because I’d end up with a head full of salt and pepper like his.
When I was pregnant he actually cut my toenails for me. Now that’s a groom!
January 18th, 2011 at 10:07 am
Oh lord,you are too funny, and the comments here had me crying and laughing at the same time!I also have gray hairs and have bribed, coaxed, and cried just to get my husband to pluck em out.Now I learned my lesson and just dye my hair.
Alisa´s last blog post ..10 Tips For Great Recipe Writing
January 21st, 2011 at 4:47 pm
If that’s all your’re asking him to do, what’s the big deal. I remember giving my little children a dime every time they pulled a grey hair out of the back of my head while I was driving. Besides if he’ll pull something for you, you might reciprocate.