So I noticed last night that my car’s left headlight burned out. No problem. I got this.

I’ve changed out the bulb in the right headlight all by myself before. In fact, I’d be surprised if you didn’t hear about that because I told everyone by all means of communication how awesome I was, for like six months after.

So now I get to be awesome all over again.

I drove to my local AutoZone and told the sales guy what I needed – a single bulb for a 2000 Honda Civic LX.

He checks the database for the kind I need and then takes me over to the bulb aisle.

He explains that I can’t buy the exact bulb as a single, since they’re out of singles. He tells me I can either buy a pair of them, an option I decline, or I can buy a bulb that’s similar, but somewhat brighter than the one I really need.

I tell him I don’t want a bulb that’s more intense than the other.

He says “Don’t worry, it’s not one of those really bright ones that blind other drivers.”

I said “No, you don’t understand. I know it’s not the screaming bright ones. But I’ll know that it’s slightly brighter than the right side and that will bother me.”

“Bother you how?”

“Bother me because I’m OCD.”

“But you won’t see that they’re different while you’re driving.”

“But I’ll know they are different.”

“But you don’t have to care because you’re not the one looking at them.”

“But I’ll care. I’ll just care.”

He stared a hole through my forehead, which ended the conversation right then and there.

I thanked him and left immediately, in search of another auto parts store that sells singles of the bulb I need.

I found one and here it is:

nipple headlight

I don’t remember the last bulb I got having a nipple on it. I was just about to ask the sales guy “Why does this headlight have a nipple? Am I supposed to take the nipple off?” but thought better of it.

One ridiculous conversation at an auto parts store is plenty for today.

I’ll just Google it because Google doesn’t judge me for the stupid questions I ask.

Wish me luck replacing my nipple bulb!

Stumble it!