I’m on a roll. Apparently this is the week where I throw food and drink at people.
So today I went to visit my Mom at her nursing home. When I go, I always bring coffee for both of us.
When I parked and got out of my car, I saw a shiny new penny lying on the ground and grabbed it.
You know the saying?
See a penny, pick it up. And then all day you’ll have good luck!
No, not you, Kathy. Just put it back where you found it. Good luck pennies are only for other people.
Because when I prepared my mom’s coffee with creamer and put the lid back on, I bumped the table the coffee was sitting on into her bed and the cup went flying, end over end, and coffee spurted out the drink hole like Old Faithful.
With her still in it.
I didn’t stop apologizing for an hour, even though my mother said “That’s OK. It’s my fault. If I’d gotten out of bed earlier, this never would have happened.”
Oh, Mom. Stop making excuses for your numbskull klutz of a daughter.
Of course, you could make an argument that the penny did actually bring me good luck.
The lid stayed on securely and ohmyGod, thank you McDonalds for making tight-fitting lids because a half-soaked mom is better than a full-soaked one, if you’re keeping score.
I fear Christmas dinner tomorrow. There will be a whole table full of things I can dump in people’s laps, catapult into their faces and all manner of silverware that I can accidentally stab them with.
If all anyone at dinner wants for Christmas is their two front teeth, I’m not sure they’ll be leaving with them.Stumble it!