Bugs, We Had an Agreement, Didn’t We?
Stuff I hate September 7th, 2013I’m still shaking uncontrollably. I had an unwelcome visitor on my patio today.
This thing.
It wasn’t just on my patio. It was on ME. Exactly the same leg where this happened.
I really would rather that nature stays where it belongs. I thought we had an agreement. You stay on your side, I stay on mine and I don’t kill you.
When I started writing this, I noticed that he came back. So I took another picture so you could have better perspective.
Size of a Volkswagen, right? I think even the mouse was afraid of it.
So now that
OMG. It’s back again!!!!!!!!!
You have GOT to be kidding me.
What I was about to say was now that I was done taking the second picture of it, I needed to get rid of it.
So I ran in the house and grabbed a broom. I gave one big sweep, saw it fly up in the air for a millisecond, but I didn’t see where it landed.
Not good. If I didn’t see where it went, it might come back.
And it did.
But because it failed to stick to The Nature Agreement, I’m happy to report, Monster McMonster Bug is deader than dead, thanks to my spastic bug smashing skillz.
I’m never using that broom again.
So much for a peaceful afternoon. Now somebody pour me a drink.
UPDATE: A friend researched this thing for me. It’s known as the wheel bug and I’m pretty sure it actually wanted to kill me because it’s a member of the – I kid you not – the Assassin Bug family.
I don’t feel guilty AT ALL for getting to him before he got to me.
Stumble it!
September 7th, 2013 at 2:54 pm
So, you don’t allow bugs…even OUTSIDE?? Hmmmm…that is some treaty. But what about good bugs that eat bad bugs–like praying mantis and such?
I’m glad you are still alive.
Lin´s last blog post ..What’s better than Hump Day?
September 7th, 2013 at 3:02 pm
Lin — No, I don’t allow bugs even outside. They’re supposed to stay off the patio. It says so in the Agreement, Section 3, Page 4, Paragragh 1. I don’t know why they don’t abide. I do not care for praying mantises either. Because of this.
September 7th, 2013 at 3:29 pm
I believe someone calculated that we eat 8 to ten spiders in our sleep during our lifetime. Apparently they crawl into our mouths, drawn to the moisture. Sweet Dreams!
Agent 54´s last blog post ..Seven
September 7th, 2013 at 3:42 pm
Oh Kathy! I’m sorry to laugh at this, but it’s your fault. You make it sound so funny! I can picture the scene and it must have looked very funny. I don’t think I would have taken too kindly to it though. I’ve never seen one of those before. Is it wearing a skirt?
Babs´s last blog post ..30 days of Photographs IV: Seven
September 7th, 2013 at 5:21 pm
I’ve seen these ugly beasties before. Sorry you had such an ordeal. I can just see you whacking the crap out of it with your broom which you will never use again because it’s covered in bug guts.
Linda´s last blog post ..The Winged Woman
September 7th, 2013 at 8:38 pm
Do you know how many bugs I’ve had to “rescue” and take outside because the wee ones didn’t want me to squish them? (So what if it’s the dead of winter… the kidlets have no idea those suckers are going to be dead as a doornail before the door closes. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.)
Boom Boom Larew´s last blog post .."Bob’s #TEAMLAME" Day 7: Seven
September 8th, 2013 at 1:25 am
You should have heard the publicist scream last night when the centipede came up and over the half wall in the computer room to attack her. It was pretty funny
Pricilla – Famous SpokesGoat´s last blog post ..We are Very Spoiled Goats
September 8th, 2013 at 6:48 am
I always enjoy nature from the comfort of my climate controlled home. I look through the patio door while I am comfortably reclined in my lounger. Inside, good. Outside,bad.
September 8th, 2013 at 7:24 am
I ended my truce with bugs when a black widow bit me. I now kill indiscriminately. They started it.
Nora Blithe´s last blog post ..30 Days of Photographs IV: Texture
September 8th, 2013 at 7:41 am
Well, if you look at this situation from its perspective, you are an ubersnack (with an umlaut). Anything that considers us a snack must be stopped in its tracks (or whatever its called when it’s a bug).
September 8th, 2013 at 7:55 am
EVERYONE: A friend researched what this thing is and can do to you. Now I’m even more freaked out that it was on me and I had to deal with it. Had I known it can stab you repeatedly, I would have just sold my house and moved. I give you the wheel bug.
Agent 54 — I hate you.
Babs — I spit coffee out when I read your comment. “Is it wearing a skirt?” JD asked me the same thing, what is that on its butt? It probably uses it to whack you in the head after it kills you.
Linda — Yeah, the broom is gone now. I can’t even believe I killed it because it’s so freaking BIG! But since it had already come back twice to kill me, it was him or me.
Boom Boom — I can guarantee they would have wanted this thing dead. I’m sorry you’re the one who has to do the deed, though. I wish we could call someone to come over.
Pricilla — Ew, they’re gross. I used to have those a lot in one of my former apartments. I once touched one unknowingly when I went to turn on a light switch and it was sitting right there. OMG. Faints.
Annofthecurlyhead — Yes, outside bad. I’m thinking of hanging a mesh net off my patio table to keep beasties from crawling all up in my space. I love my patio. I want to take it back!
Nora Blithe — Oh, Jeebus. I can’t imagine. Don’t want to imagine. I’m so sorry. Kill away.
BabaBooey — I don’t wanna be a snack! Go read the above link and read how they kill its prey and what they do to you when you get too close. I don’t know why these things exist in nature.
September 8th, 2013 at 8:03 am
I totally understand that bugs have a purpose in nature. But when they start treading onto my territory, all bets are off. The uglier they are, the more squashed they will be.
September 8th, 2013 at 11:45 am
OMG. EW.
*shuddering*
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..30 Days Of Photography | Day 8: Texture
September 8th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
I woke up in the middle of the night (in Fiji, since you ask) to find a 2inch roach in my ARMPIT!!! You’re lucky!
September 8th, 2013 at 5:13 pm
Oh my word! I just read about that evil bug! Good job you bashed it with a broom!
Babs´s last blog post ..30 days of Photographs IV: Texture
September 9th, 2013 at 12:05 am
Kathy, I’m with you on the whole bug thing. I hate them with a passion to the point that I will go out of my way to avoid them, like they are some sort of mugger or IRS agent.
Last week there was a big, honking spider sitting on the floor of my shower and I decided to avoid it all together, thinking, “I guess I’m not that dirty.”
Jack´s last blog post ..This Post is Absolutely Fee!
September 9th, 2013 at 4:43 am
Suzanne — I agree. I know they have a purpose, and this thing is deemed a helpful bug. Just not when it’s on me and it give me a coronary.
meleah rebeccah — I seriously wasn’t right about it, even the next day when I sat outside. I kept looking at anything that would fly by, a butterfly, a leaf, anything that moved, I was on it. Birth of a new phobia, I think.
Broken Biro — I can’t …. just …. can’t imagine. I’ve never come in contact with a roach in my life. I hope there’s never a first time.
Babs — I know, right? “Vicious stabbing motions” that’s all I remember about that.
Jack — “Mugger or IRS agent.” Har. Make sure you do recon before your next shower, just sayin’.
September 9th, 2013 at 5:41 am
No need to feel guilty for killing that assassin, especially when he trespassed onto your patio! At least he wasn’t in your house. We have some little bug repeller plug-ins (Riddex Sonic Plus) that send a out noise that keeps the bugs away and so far they seem to be working. I’m actually surprised because usually when we get gadget things from a catalog, they sound good but don’t work too well.
Karen and Gerard´s last blog post ..Monday Mischief: How To Get That Poop by Abby
September 10th, 2013 at 1:48 pm
How did you get the bugs to sign the agreement? Do I need a lawyer? I live in the South and our bugs are ornery, they won’t agree to anything. I think the palmetto bugs and garden spiders even belong to a union.
September 11th, 2013 at 4:08 am
You are lucky to be alive. That is terrifying.
Bronwyn MayB´s last blog post ..Tales of Grandma — Stubborn runs in the family: A post from the past
September 12th, 2013 at 10:52 am
UGH! I hate spiders. I would have FREAKED!!! Just looking at the picture gives me the jitters.
Cara Lyn Erickson´s last blog post ..Good News and Bad News
September 22nd, 2013 at 3:23 pm
I commend you on having such admirable restraint. Brooms, after all, really do little damage, except to the bug. My wife would have gone to town and come back with a bazooka and blown that sucker across the Mississippi.
September 24th, 2013 at 1:51 am
PLEASE send ALL your wheel bugs to me. They are one of the few bugs that kill squash bugs. I am in dire need of squash bug terminators. Thank You.