I’m still shaking uncontrollably. I had an unwelcome visitor on my patio today.
It wasn’t just on my patio. It was on ME. Exactly the same leg where this happened.
I really would rather that nature stays where it belongs. I thought we had an agreement. You stay on your side, I stay on mine and I don’t kill you.
When I started writing this, I noticed that he came back. So I took another picture so you could have better perspective.
Size of a Volkswagen, right? I think even the mouse was afraid of it.
So now that
OMG. It’s back again!!!!!!!!!
You have GOT to be kidding me.
What I was about to say was now that I was done taking the second picture of it, I needed to get rid of it.
So I ran in the house and grabbed a broom. I gave one big sweep, saw it fly up in the air for a millisecond, but I didn’t see where it landed.
Not good. If I didn’t see where it went, it might come back.
And it did.
But because it failed to stick to The Nature Agreement, I’m happy to report, Monster McMonster Bug is deader than dead, thanks to my spastic bug smashing skillz.
I’m never using that broom again.
So much for a peaceful afternoon. Now somebody pour me a drink.
UPDATE: A friend researched this thing for me. It’s known as the wheel bug and I’m pretty sure it actually wanted to kill me because it’s a member of the – I kid you not – the Assassin Bug family.
I don’t feel guilty AT ALL for getting to him before he got to me.