Today I hit my first roadblock in an effort to lose weight. Not because I snacked on candy (I didn’t). Not because I didn’t take the stairs enough (I have). And not because I’ve lost my will already (no chance). Hell, even I can keep a resolution for at least one day.

So why am I having so much trouble today? I smell like cookies and now I want to eat a whole package of cookie dough. Raw. Right out of the package.

I know you’re probably thinking "Oh, poor Kathy. I realize she’s struggling to lose weight and I wish there was something I could do for her to encourage her to stay motivated."

Or maybe you’re just thinking "Why does she smell like cookies?"

Lemme ‘splain. I was working on a client’s PC fixing a problem one day and my work was lasting longer than I expected. I was supposed to have lunch with my sister and it was looking like I wouldn’t make it since I was stuck with this PC problem.

I called her to let her know we’d probably have to postpone, and while talking with her, I noticed my client had a bottle of Bath and Body Works hand lotion on her desk. I picked it up to smell what kind it was. The "flavor" was Warm Vanilla Sugar and it smelled exactly like sugar cookies.

I told my sister what I’d just done and how much I loved the aroma of fresh baked cookies. In a hand lotion! She made a mental note of this and gave me a bottle of it for my birthday shortly after.

What I didn’t realize is that if you use cookie-scented hand lotion, like I did today, it makes you hungry. Very hungry. Eat your fingers right off your hand hungry. This is not helpful.

I know there are freak scientists in the world whose job it is to make chemicals smell like food. I watched a rather disgusting movie this weekend, Fast Food Nation, in which a chemist whips up an additive that is used to make a barbecue burger smell like a barbecue burger. Believe me, you don’t want to eat anything off a Micky D’s menu if you watch that movie. What you think is burger is more like something that only smells like burger. Well, maybe there is some meat in there, but you can’t be too sure. They can make anything smell like anything they want. Eat at your own risk.

There is a lesson here. If you’re going to go on a diet, do not use a product on yourself that smells like an item you’ve just crossed off your acceptable foods list. It’ll drive you insane. Dieting is hard enough without wanting to eat your own fingers.

Stumble it!