Revenge is So Sweet
food October 20th, 2007Recently I wrote about what I perceive to be a shopping club card scam. My local grocery store suddenly pulled a switcheroo on what kind of rewards they were giving to customers who use their club cards.
In the past, it was always a monetary discount, up to 20% off your total bill, depending on your point accumulation. The last time they ran the points redemption period, they gave my husband, Dave and me useless bakeware instead. I gave all three pieces to my sisters, by the way.
Today we got revenge.
Dave ran over to the store for some dinner items: hamburger, ice cream, and macaroni and cheese from the deli counter. When he got home, he announced "That lady at the deli must have the hots for me. She did it again."
What’s "it," you ask?
"It" is undercharging for a pound of macaroni and cheese. "Again" means it’s the second time the same lady did this to him. The first time it happened, we got a good chuckle out of it. Now we just think she’s smitten with him.
Dave didn’t realize this had happened again until he got to the register and self-scanned his items. When the macaroni and cheese rang up, the polite-sounding lady who lives inside the machine said in her best monotone voice, "Five cents."
Yeah, a nickel for a whole pound. See for yourself. Note: I’m blocking out the store name because Dave is actually afraid someone from the store might read my blog (????) and then fire the woman who is repeatedly weighing his stuff in this way.
I asked him what he did when the machine lady reported the surprising discount — loudly, I might add. Everybody in the store knows the cost of everything you’re buying because the audio is jacked up so high. Frankly, I can’t understand how the store employees can listen to the scanner voices all day without wanting to commit hara-kiri.
He said he looked around figuring some store employee would look up and say "Nothing costs a nickel! The machines are malfunctioning! Tech support in Aisle 2! Stat!"
But no one blinked and he wasn’t about to return it to the deli, as half his items had already merrily rolled down the conveyor belt. We’ve decided this makes us even for the club card scam. Karma works like that. 
In case you’re thinking it’s immoral for him to not have corrected their mistake, he was punished, in a way.
When Dave started frying up the burgers, he realized he forgot to buy mayonnaise, a staple in his diet and an absolute requirement for cheeseburgers. He had a very unhappy meal tonight. Karma works like that.
Stumble it!
October 21st, 2007 at 1:05 am
Last weekend I had three (3)! separate episodes of fellow shoppers being incredibly kind to me for no apparent reason. The first time was at a Wegman’s. I had two items: a flower and a dessert. I was waiting patiently in the checkout line, when the man in front of me offered to let me go ahead of him!!! The second time was at Walmart. I was waiting patiently with three items behind a family with a cart piled high with purchases. The mom asked if I wanted to go ahead. The third episode happened at JC Penney’s. A gal behind me offered to let me use her 20% off discount coupon. I saved $10.00 on the spot! Very sweet!!!!
October 21st, 2007 at 1:36 am
“they gave my husband, Dave and me useless bakeware instead.”
Oh the joy of re-gifting.
October 21st, 2007 at 1:52 am
Yeah but come on, shouldn’t mac and cheese only cost .05/lb in the first place?
Your show tutorial was hysterical by the way.
October 21st, 2007 at 10:40 am
@ Ann — I’m shopping with you from now on. Doesn’t their kindness make up for at least the last 10 morons you’ve run into?
@ John — I had my sisters in mind as I was selecting my bakeware from the display. I knew immediately I wouldn’t be using any of it!
@ Jeff — Yeah, it should be only .05/lb 🙂 Don’t get me started on the prices of food these days. I just about had a coronary when I spent $6.50 for a lb. of store brand american cheese. And milk! Milk is now 4 bucks a gallon! And a loaf of bread, and…..
@ All — I had some of the 5 cent mac and cheese. I over-salted it and it became inedible. I was ranting about how I really wanted to eat it, but it was too salty. Dave looked at me and said “IT ONLY COST FIVE CENTS! We can get more tomorrow!”
October 21st, 2007 at 11:57 am
HA HA HA! Good one! Revenge is sweet, or, in this case, creamy and cheesy.
That’s so funny that Dave worried about the deli lady getting caught.
And, YES! Our store has those same ear-shattering price-check voices. Why does everyone in the store need to know how much I’m paying for everything!
I cracked up at the thought of employees’ heads popping up and saying, Nothing costs a nickel!
Too bad about the mayo.
October 21st, 2007 at 12:16 pm
@ J.D. — Dave’s also worried I would get the Raymour & Flanigan people in trouble. I wrote about their aggressive sales tactics a while back (“Dear Raymour and Flanigan, We Hate You”). I kept the most serious offender’s name out of it, and it’s probably a good thing. Because if you Google “Raymour and Flanigan” I’m 19th on the results page. My stats program tells me that 3-4 people click that post every day. I like to think my post is keeping people from going there and experiencing the hell we went through with them. But at least I’m not getting a specific person in trouble. And that makes Dave happy. You know, the karma thing.
October 21st, 2007 at 12:42 pm
If I read the picture right, it is actually priced at 0.05/lb. Now the picture is a bit fuzzy on the weight side, but it’s probably just a smidgin over a pound. So we can rule out the deli lady propping up the scale with her finger. The most insidious thing she could be doing if this was special treatment would be to have two SKUs – one for friends at a nickel a pound and one for everybody else at a higher rate.
I agree with Jeff. It should only be a nickel. Maybe it is – but I’m likewise incredulous that they wouldn’t try and get a $4/lb profit on the item.
You’ve actually got it pretty good. I’ll have to educate you on Australian prices. We pay about $10 for a half cup of liquid American cheese in a jar. You can’t even get it by the block. $6-7 for a loaf of bread. $35 for a kilo of generic coffee. (About $15 a lb.). I can get a box of stale Triscuits shipped from Queensland for about $25.
October 21st, 2007 at 1:15 pm
@ Mike — Good Lord. I wouldn’t be able to live on those prices. Yikes! OK, I’ll shut up about the cost of things these days.
October 21st, 2007 at 3:16 pm
I didn’t know that you coould buy macaroni & cheese already made at the deli counter!
October 21st, 2007 at 3:39 pm
@ Anon — I don’t often see mac and cheese at the deli, but my store has it. I always see macaroni salad, but not always the other.
October 21st, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Upon further review of the receipt, I’m now hoping he didn’t accidentally double scan the cherry drops, thereby rendering his awesome mac&cheese discount null and void. Which of course would only make this whole thing that much funnier.
Oh, and btw – if you couldn’t tell, I meant to say your SHOE tutorial was hysterical, not your show tutorial. Although if you had done a show tutorial (whatever that might be) I’m sure it would have been funny as well. Um… I’ll go away now.
October 21st, 2007 at 3:52 pm
@ Jeff — He did actually buy two tins of cherry drops.
And I did understand what you meant about the tutorial. I think a “show tutorial” is redundant, eh? You make me laugh.
Love your blog, by the way. I added you to my blogroll. Nobody gets there unless they make me laugh so hard something comes out my nose.
October 21st, 2007 at 10:46 pm
I have received accidental discounts in the past, but it seems to balance out, as I get overcharged for things just as often.
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:09 am
@ Marie — You’re right, it probably all comes out in the wash. I don’t think I’d even know it if I was overcharged. You’d have to be calculating your costs as you shop, and I’m not about to do that. I’m not a very patient shopper.
October 22nd, 2007 at 2:38 am
Hah! Good for your hubby… I try to get an estimate in my head when I am shopping so I am not SO surprised at the till; if it’s less, I usually don’t say anything if it’s a big store. If it’s a small place, I do correct them. But a large store that I shop often? Hey, if I get a deal on one thing, I KNOW it will be offset by all the high priced items I buy the other 99% of the time.
October 22nd, 2007 at 10:30 am
@ Maureen — I know most stores offer a guarantee that if an item scans at a higher price, you get the item for free. I wonder how many people actually go through the trouble to protest. I probably would, but again, I’m never aware of it at the register since I’m just trying to move along and get home.