Laundry Breadcrumbs
embarrassing May 19th, 2011
This weekend I took my oversized comforter to the laundromat with washers and dryers that could accommodate it. When I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed a guy who’d just taken several Hefty bags full of laundry out of his trunk.
Unbeknownst to him, one of the bags tipped its load and he was plopping his drawers and socks all over the lot, leaving laundry breadcrumbs every few feet behind him.
As soon as I could park my car and hop out, I alerted him to his wayward drawers. He thanked me and went back to collect his whitie tighties. When we met up inside the laundromat, he thanked me again and said “Well that was embarrassing.”
I wanted to hand him my blog business card and say “No it’s not. Just read this. I trump everything.”
For instance, today I took my car to a mechanic to have my muffler replaced. The shop is located at the intersection of one way streets, which for a directionally-challenged dolt such as myself, creates serious problems.
To make matters worse, one of the roads that would lead me directly out of there was blocked off for construction.
When I paid my bill and drove away from the shop, the mechanics waved me off and I went on my merry, lost way.
I couldn’t get left!
I could only go right, right, right and right again.
Which dumped me back in front of the mechanics, still standing there, now laughing at me, and waving me off for a second time.
Hi. Me again. I’m lost. Can you tell?
Dying.
The next attempt went better, but put me many blocks from my destination. I almost had to use my GPS to go two tenths of a mile.
I swear. I shouldn’t be allowed to drive a car, or frankly, mingle out and about with society in general.
It’s hard being me.
Stumble it!
May 19th, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Well, it runs in the family. Whenever I tell somehow I don’t know how to get somewhere, they’ll look at me like there’s something wrong with me.
It’s not my fault I’m directionally challenged. Soon they’ll just have it programmed into people’s brains on how to get somewhere.
May 19th, 2011 at 9:08 pm
Every time I fly to an unfamiliar city and rent a car, I have the exact same experience: I ask the car rental people how to get out of the airport and onto the adjacent highway, they give me easy-sounding directions that end with “you can’t miss it!”, and I wind up circling the airport at least three times.
Laura´s last blog post ..My Son Keeps Seeing Bees But There Is No Bees
May 19th, 2011 at 9:19 pm
I’m sure the mechanics found you adorable and never for one minutes popped a beer with their buddies last night over a story about “some dumb broad.” No really. I’m sure that didn’t happen. 😉
injaynesworld´s last blog post ..injaynesworld What A Long- Strange Trip Its Been
May 19th, 2011 at 9:22 pm
I was continually losing my sense of direction in an 1100 square foot apartment!
Grace´s last blog post ..One of my stray cats is missing
May 19th, 2011 at 9:58 pm
I always thought it was “tightie whities”…
May 20th, 2011 at 4:58 am
My Mommeh is directionally-challenged, too. If she has to go somewhere new, she will first do MapQuest, and sometimes even take a dry run to make sure she knows exactly how to get there.
Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..Wardobe Malfunction
May 20th, 2011 at 5:45 am
eeeek. i would have said you dropped your panties back there. hahahah.
last week i thought i was taking a shortcut away from the traffic. i ended up circling the traffic and right back in it. i thought i was sooo smart. not. #dumbarse. we’re like the blind leading the blind together. we should rent a limo when we go out.
May 20th, 2011 at 9:29 am
Oh my God! I thought I was the only person who did that “getting lost within easy walking distance of your destination” thing. I do it all the time! This makes me so happy to read!
May 20th, 2011 at 10:00 am
The publicist can’t drive any longer and this is probably a good thing….
Pricilla´s last blog post ..Farm Cat Friday – The Yurt Has Been INVADED!
May 20th, 2011 at 11:01 am
I missed you! I’m so glad someone else does stupid stuff driving. One time I ended up in downtown DC while trying to get home to Virginia. Once I spent 10 minutes trying to parallel park in a spot with like 30 feet of room and I couldn’t park. Some guy stood there laughing at me until I finally gave up and have to park in a parking lot like a mile away. We should start a “direction challenged-can’t drive club”.
May 20th, 2011 at 11:02 am
God, I enjoy your posts. You’re talking to a woman who went out for a cup of coffee at work and had to call the office for directions to get back. Also, I’ve been known to plug an extension cord into itself and wonder why it’s not working. To this I hold fast: it’s a mistake anyone could make!
May 20th, 2011 at 11:10 am
I hunch way down in the seat so I barely can see over the steering wheel and squint and go the wrong way slowly with a turn signal flashing.
You will have to wait a few years, but it’s worth it.
May 20th, 2011 at 12:46 pm
The guy with the wayward drawers was probably doing that on purpose to catch your attention. Mechanics love girls acting “girly”. It makes there day. And all this sounds “girly” to me, not lame at all.
Linda Medrano´s last blog post ..Hair
May 20th, 2011 at 2:20 pm
It’s probably a good thing I don’t drive! I bet I’d get lost going round our block!
Babs (beetle)´s last blog post ..We’ve done it again!
May 20th, 2011 at 8:00 pm
I had an aunt like that–she had to have a map to go somewhere and a second one to get home. She never could find her sister’s house even though she lived there for 20+ years.
I love the laundromat story. 🙂 That is a rockin’ place for blog posts–There are such characters there!!
lin´s last blog post ..God is doing a Nu Thang-and its not picking a winner on Survivor
May 21st, 2011 at 5:18 am
Regan — I’m sad that you got the no-direction gene. I’d tell you there was “hope with practice” but that’s not true. You can’t educate yourself out of it. It just is. I’m sorry.
Laura — I’m sorry I’m laughing. But I can because we of the Land of the Lost are allowed to laugh at each other. I think what happens is our fear of getting lost crowds out any new directional information our brains are trying to process. I’m still laughing because I can just picture you pulling away and then crying “Where do I go?!” OMG. So me.
injaynesworld — LMAO. What I’m really worried about is that I’m taking my car there next month for inspection and I just know the owner’s gonna bring it up. “Did you ever find your way back to work?”
Grace — Do you bump into walls and doors, too? Oh, wait. Probably just me.
Susan — Ha! You know your underwear.
Daisy the Curly Cat — Tell your Mommeh that Google Street View is also helpful. Then she can see other buildings nearby and get a better sense of what the area looks like. Aren’t you glad she doesn’t drive you anywhere? You would have to bring treats to last hours.
v — Aren’t you just so happy for GPS now? It’s been so liberating for me. I would rank a GPS even higher on the need scale than a cell phone.
grace — Stick with me, Grace. There’s lots of stuff you don’t have to be embarrassed about anymore, because I do it worse.
Pricilla — If you can’t drive, you can’t get lost. Of course, the publicist should not offer directional services to anyone who is lost near her house. Just say “Go to the next one and ask. I know nothing.”
Devon — Thank you! It’s all about group therapy here at The Junk Drawer. The more people we can find like us, the less stupid we have to feel. I’m sorry you can’t park.
June O’Hara — Laughing so hard about the extension cord! Yes, yes it IS a mistake anyone can make. Still laughing.
GoingLikeSixty — So going to be me. It should be in a big Cadillac, too, right?
Linda Medrano — I know, but I’m not girly! I’m old lady! That’s just sad now, isn’t it?
Babs — GPS, that’s all I’m sayin’.
lin — I think you either get the gene for good direction or you don’t. Like math. You either get it or you cry trying to figure it out. And right. I can always count on something hilarious happening at the laundromat. Blog Central.
May 21st, 2011 at 5:48 am
A street is only one way when someone is driving on it in the supposed “correct direction.”
J. Bear Savo´s last blog post ..Red Retro Lady No 1
May 21st, 2011 at 6:45 am
Well at least you got a chance to practice your right hand turns. After you get those right, you can start in on the left hand turns!
I think you might need a one-on-one when you’re out and about mingling with society. You know, for everyone’s protection. ;D
May 21st, 2011 at 8:55 am
OMG are we twins?? Drive me somewhere…turn me around & I still can’t find my way back. Totally lost coming out of hotel or hospital rooms into hallways.
May 22nd, 2011 at 7:21 am
My mother was pretty much like that… once she even got lost in the K-Mart parking lot. I swear. True story. Fortunately for me, I got my dad’s driving and navigation genes (he also taught me how to read maps, a skill my mother also never mastered… though she COULD fold them back up perfectly). I suspect my mother was so navigationally-challenged that even the GPS wouldn’t have helped her. We’re probably related on my mother’s side of the family. 🙂
May 22nd, 2011 at 7:30 am
Are you sure it was the detour? Or did the mechanics fix your car so it would only turn right?
BoomBoomLarew´s last blog post ..Save Bacons bacon!
May 23rd, 2011 at 3:07 am
LOL, does this kind of event or situation happens to you all the time? YAY!
RonLeyba´s last blog post ..Macy’s 4th Of July Fireworks 2011
May 23rd, 2011 at 1:30 pm
I can so relate. I’m also directionally challenged. I once got lost using GPS on my way to a job interview. Really! I ignored the GPS system and figured it out on my own. Even got there on time.
GPS Gladys kept yelling, “Right turn, left turn, right turn,” until she finally gave up and said, “in 100 feet, drop me off at the curb.”
Lauren´s last blog post ..New Series CSI- Miami Hypochondriacs
May 23rd, 2011 at 4:18 pm
“I almost had to use my GPS to go two tenths of a mile.”
AhahhahaHAHhahahahahahAhahahhah!.
Oh, Kathy. You crack me up.
I suffer from the same “Always Getting Lost Affliction”.
June 9th, 2011 at 10:51 am
Every time I fly to an unfamiliar city and rent a car, I have the exact same experience: I ask the car rental people how to get out of the airport and onto the adjacent highway, they give me easy-sounding directions that end with “you can’t miss it!”, and I wind up circling the airport at least three times.
HomeTivi´s last blog post ..Men of a Certain Age Season 2 Episode 8
June 12th, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Hi *waves*, my name’s Tisha and I’m also directionally challenged! 😉
CrAzY Working Mom´s last blog post ..Vacation Continues
August 21st, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Test comment.