Forget the Defendant, I’m the Insane One
Fun March 9th, 2009
Listen up, folks. I have to report for jury duty tomorrow. I was hoping they wouldn’t even want my number, but I checked the court’s website and I’m in the range of like ten thousand people they want to show up.
I promise I will do my civic duty to the best of my ability should I get selected. But, seriously. Would you want me on your jury, knowing I have done the following?
1. I’ve been taking pictures of a plastic bag in a tree for nearly a year.
2. I ate a Beggin’ Strip dog treat.
3. I once apologized to a plumber for a fart my cat left.
4. I see things in my food.
5. I find shredding paper one of life’s greatest joys.
6. I left outdoor pumpkins to rot in a Christmas display.
7. I interviewed a dog.
8. I got lost two tenths of a mile from my house.
9. I seat-belt my food in the car.
10. I marvel at my cats’ pee.
Really, now. Don’t you think I should get a pass for all that? All aboard the crazy train!
Stumble it!
March 10th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Try hanging a piece of string out of your mouth when your sitting in the line up. Act as though you don’t even know that it’s there and you will surely get kicked out of the jury pool. My friend did that 🙂
Grog’s last blog post..Stem Cell Funding Ban Lifted
March 10th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
And if all that doesn’t work tell the judge you slept with the defendant… AND you’re his cousin. Wait, what state are you in?? 😉
Grandy’s last blog post..The Grandy-Land Superhero IS HERE
March 10th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
You sound perfectly sane to me! We all do things, but few admit to them.
Jan from BetterSpines’s last blog post..Back Care Myths III – Exercise through the pain
March 10th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
We know one thing for sure Kathy. There are a whole lot of people who don’t like to serve on a jury. I hope you didn’t get lost!!:-)
March 10th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Oooh, I love shredding, too! If that is reason for dismissal from jury duty then my number should just never be called!
Quadmama’s last blog post..Maybe Daylight Savings Time Isn’t So Bad
March 10th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
The scary thing is that you will be the most “normal” person there! Have fun!
Lin’s last blog post..The Ultimate Excuse
March 10th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
if this list of things gets u out of jury duty, let me know! i was called 4 jury duty & i do NOT want to go. i too ate dog treats (popcorn for dogs–AND i enjoyed it!) and I find enjoyment in shredding paper!! Don’t be ashamed 😉
March 10th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Everytime my wife gets a notice for jury duty (which seems like every 6 months) she gets a note from her doctor concerning her very real asthma condition. Maybe You could tell him you are allergic to Lawyers, and break out in hives?
Chris Casey’s last blog post..If I were a Superhero!
March 10th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
I think blogging about recognizing the playboy bunny in your cat’s litter box would qualify you as insane, however, I’ve seen some pretty insane verdicts, which means there have been insane jurors in the past. Sorry. I think you’re up the proverbial creek without a paddle. 😉
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March 11th, 2009 at 12:49 am
I’ll hope it’s not a long case as they can be weeks and I know I don’t have the patience to listen. I suffer from Adult attention disorder and my daughter says I also have defiance issues… that doesn’t seem rational for juror..do you think.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
Dorothy Stahlnecker’s last blog post..Love
March 11th, 2009 at 3:16 am
Jury Duty is a great way to wile away the time, unless you get picked, then it’s sorta like school, only not really cause they want you to pay attention and stuff for some crazy reason.
Look, just wear appropriate shorts with different colored knee high socks and different colored shoes and one sleeve of your blouse rolled up to the elbow and the other buttoned smartly around your wrist. Just comb half your hair. See, you want to appear whacky with out offending the judges dress code. Here, if you offended the dress code, they make you go home, get dressed right, and you best show back up, or ….
Either that or proclaim repeatedly that no matter what your going to find the defendant Guilty. After 4 days of that, One juror got off, but he almost got thrown into jail as well. He also got a 1/2 hour talk down from the judge. It was truly bizzare. Welcome to Jury Duty.
Beamer
Beamer’s last blog post..A furry Glowing Antenna
March 11th, 2009 at 4:09 am
Every time i come here I am not dissapointed, nice post
March 11th, 2009 at 4:32 am
I don’t even need to read the post, the title says it all.
sheila’s last blog post..Stop Making Lists and Do Something
March 11th, 2009 at 8:50 am
I pity anyone on the Jury with you. Would love to be a fly on the wall during negotiations. I have all ideas that whatever you believe should be the outcome of the trial WILL BE! Good Luck!
Shelly’s last blog post..Going Home for Short Visit
March 11th, 2009 at 9:40 am
This is one of the perks of being a stay at home mom. Or, er, “primary caregiver for small children.” It’s gotten me out of jury duty twice.
When my kids are old enough to fend for myself, I promise I’ll do my civic duty.
Wendy’s last blog post..Ow-Ow-Ow That’s My Eyeball
March 11th, 2009 at 10:43 am
I would love to have you on my jury, crazy or not. But what if you knew the defendant? You would have to decline serving cause he/she may recognize you, work towards bribing you and you would have to figure out whether or not to go their way. Hmmm might be a movie already?
Linda’s last blog post..How About Bitublock ?
March 11th, 2009 at 11:07 am
I like reading the embarrassing moments. Maybe I
March 11th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
All I can say is I hope you get on the jury… for OUR sake!
Jeff’s last blog post..Minnesota Fashion Statement
March 11th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
1) Love the 10 point blog format for this post!
2) Does this mean no JunkDrawerBlog if you are sequestered?
3) You can’t serve on the jury if you know the defendant.
4) What do you mean you don’t know Jaffer?
5) When you show up for selection, just keep twitching and counting things under your breath.
March 11th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
You sound pretty normal……expect to be sequestered for weeks……
Bruce’s last blog post..Good Housekeeping
March 11th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
I laughed over #3. So funny. It’s just amazing though, that you will probably be the most normal person there. 🙂
BlueCastle’s last blog post..Let’s Have A Little Fun
March 11th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Yes, but really, who doesn’t marvel at their cat’s urine?
peace,
mike
livelife365
Mike Foster’s last blog post..Social Networking Blues
March 11th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Haha! I’m not really sure that I would really want you on my jury…Unless of course I was innocent, then it’d be okay.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Well, here’s a tip from a former lawyer (me). Want to get out of jury duty? Here’s what you say:
“Well, I’ve heard about this case and I’ve got some strong feelings about it.”
That’ll do…
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March 13th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Hey, I like Jury Duty. okay, prob cuz I love the Law and happen to be a paralegal, but it can be very interesting ya know 🙂 Heeheehee
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